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BlendedSlop

VIP Member
It's remarkable how she continues to find new ways to make me audibly say "What the fuck" EVERY SINGLE DAY.

"999, which service do you require?"

"Police, please."

"OK, how can we help?"

"Someone on Twitter said they received some non-specific threats a while ago. I'd like you to call round to their house."

"Certainly. May I take your name and the name of the person you'd like us to visit?"

"Yes, it's Mr T Roll. The person concerned is Dr Dr Jack Monroe, ADHD ASD. You should have her address already, there must have been numerous reports of foul smells coming from her kitchen."

"No problem, I'll get a car round there straight away. Do you wish to be kept anonymous?"

"Oh no, it's quite alright. Feel free to tell her my report is malicious, too."

"Will do. Thanks for your call!"
 
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Kittypops

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I've reset my days, it's a bad time happening here, I come to this space for the absolute joy of words, of life and of taking the piss. I've fallen over but I will get back, the AA fraus, thank you, the non-AA fraus, thank you. I just need to say this. Now if anyone likes this message, I'll come after you with my hands and feet, so get ready, Grrrr no exceptions.
 
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Lucy Aeroplane

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Hello frauen, I’d like to start with a small apology, cos I don’t think I explained enough before about the reason I mentioned the Thorpe Bay/grammar school kids who would have been many of Jack’s peers growing up. Daddy H worked a pretty normal job, for above average pay, and he seems to have made some wise investments, good on him. But his normal income when Jack lived at home would have been nowhere near what a lot of other local dads brought in, and it wouldn’t likely have bought designer labels and skiing trips and all that jazz. Even 20+ years ago there were mad amounts of money sloshing about and lots of people showing it off including via their kids. I’m inclined to speculate, not unfairly, that a possible reason Jack appears to simply not recognise her immense privilege might be because she genuinely felt underprivileged in comparison to some of her peer group growing up. Especially going to the grammar school she went to, with all the kids from sharp-elbowed Leigh-on-Sea and Chalkwell families who could afford 11+ tutoring and all that. Now, if she’d compared herself to our peers growing up in single parent households, in council housing around the town (there was still plenty of it in Shoebury and Southend when we grew up), and going to Shoeburyness or Prittlewell or Cecil Jones schools (all of which are quite a bit less shit now than they were back in the day; they were really shit then) maybe she’d be happier now because she’d realise how incredibly lucky she is. Who can say?! Certainly not me. I don’t think she spent enough time with us povvos for us to be worth a comparison. Anyway, that context was just an interesting thing for me to think about when trying to work out why Jack is so determined to play a Poor victim of society when she demonstrably isn’t; that was why I mentioned it.

After the last 24h I’m having second thoughts about OH. I’d partly based my assumption of his identity on her saying they’d known each other a long time. If it is ‘my’ suspected OH, then he would already have a reason to publicly keep her at arm’s length (sorry, I promise this would make sense if I could tell you who I think it is, but if I’m wrong then I think the guy I’d name would actually have a decent case for libel 😂 no offence Jack) - but she does seem to be going off the deep end a bit so I don’t know if she does have anyone looking out for her.

Also - yes to previous posters - I personally agree that nobody should be getting into a relationship with someone who appears to be in such a bad place mentally as Jack, but I’ve had partners love me and care for me when I’ve been in shit situations before (even though I haven’t been compulsively lying about my dad shooting guns and all my AMAZING friends who send me gifts and the police tracking down my made up online troll, and maybe said partners wouldn’t have loved me if I had been doing all that nonsense), so I’ll sit on the fence if she does have an OH. It’ll all be consenting adults, it’s not my business to decide what they do with each other.

I did a quick mess around with entitledto.co.uk benefits calculator (we know her rent - or at least what she says she pays - and the CT band of the address is public info anyway, so it’s easy enough to work out) and it shows that on a PAYE salary of £30k and paying 6% into a pension, with a child living with her, she would be entitled to about £550-650 a month Universal Credit. Without the kid, on that salary, she’d still be entitled to about £25 a month. (£30k would be a, erm, healthy salary for working in Southend without any qualifications and minimal experience, so I’m being generous there.) So she must have been earning pretty ok for a while to not have been eligible for any benefits since 2014, as she now claims. (Or maybe that’s how long SB has been living with his dad. If that’s the case, my god she really did milk the single mum thing didn’t she?!)

I’ve got no sympathy whatsoever for her “it’s the ADHD and autism” nonsense because🔺 I have formal diagnoses of both and yet I manage not to be a twat. I doubt Jack has formal diagnoses, partly because the last time I checked there was no adult ADHD service in Southend, so to be diagnosed with that as an adult she would have had to go private. That’s £1500 for assessment then £80 for each prescription and £300-odd for review appointments … nice if you can afford it, but of course our Poor little Jack only has £19 so she can’t possibly. There is an NHS adult Asperger’s clinic in Basildon but waiting lists are looooong and they cover teens too. Also she would totally have published a piece of rambling shit (yes I am a fine one to talk, but I’m not a professional writer so I’m allowed to be rambly) about the whole psych assessment process and how VALIDATING it was to finally be told she’s different (and having something she could potentially use as an excuse for any shitty behaviour) and oh my god why didn’t anyone ever NOTICE I was different and special. Seeing as we haven’t been subjected to that, I’m going with thinking there might not be a diagnosis.

Am also extremely sceptical about the RA claims - again, am sure we would have had photos of swollen red knuckles and ankles and knees and whatnot, as well as a comprehensive writeup of how gruelling it was getting an answer to why she was in so much paaaaiiiin and couldn’t cook. Also … like … come on frauen, this is Jack, and rheumatology and associated modalities at Southend Hospital are beyond awful (I know through parents 🔺), so we would have had regular pieces on how totally broken the NHS is (live tweeted from the waiting rooms) if she was a pain or rheumatology patient. (N.B. The NHS is totally broken, and Jack would still not be a hero for pointing that out, especially when others are doing it better and from a more informed and less faux-gobshitey perspective.) Also there would have been a first-person diatribe about how awful the DWP’s process is for PIP claims - because it is, and Jack would be able to write all about that if she’d claimed PIP for her RA, which for any frauen who don’t know is usually a really disabling condition so it’s relatively easy to evidence disability in the PIP descriptors, as long as you’ve got the medical evidence to back you up of course. Being able to provide medical evidence is a bit of a sticking point if you haven’t got a condition.

I’ve digressed again, so back to the point I was getting round to making - I’m NOT saying that not having a formal diagnosis doesn’t mean she has ASD/ADHD (sorry for the clumsy wording there but I’m tired, aha am SO TIRED) … but I do think that if she ever was actually fully assessed by a consultant psychiatrist she would end up with various other diagnoses either instead of, or in addition to, ASD. The compulsive lying isn’t a normal ADHD or ASD trait, for starters; nor is the desperately seeking attention; or the having to pretend to be the elevenerife-est at everything.

This ridiculous police shit (!!!!!) reeks of histrionics, not that I believe her version of events in the slightest. And it’s very uncomfortable as someone who’s never had to be part of AA but has had a loved one who did, to see how she talks about AA. All of that stuff isn’t ASD or ADHD, that seems like some pathological fucking shit.

I do wish she’d get the help she needs. It IS sad watching someone humiliate themselves to this degree. And I think people who live their lives terminally online the way she seems to are sad generally. Ok, I do appreciate she’s being egged on by her naive (or ignorant) eager little squigs, and she’s clearly got herself into a mindset where they’re her Friends and anyone who dares question or even hint at criticisim of her is an Enemy (oh my god she IS kind of like a female Owen Jones isn’t she). But there’s got to be some small part of her that recognises what a douche she’s being with all the BS. Hasn’t there?!

We need a half decent journalist to save her from herself (and to save us from her of course, and to save the poor gullible squigs on lower incomes than she is yet donating money to her Patreon). Invite her on to your show, ostensibly to talk about the cost of living or food poverty or fuel poverty or whatever type of poverty is her main area of expertise this week, ask her a few softball questions THEN start booting the real shit at her: “Jack, some people have pointed out there are some inconsistencies in your backstory, can you explain [lists exact examples of BS]?”, “Jack, did your dad really fire a whacking great gun in a quiet residential street the other weekend?” “Jack, how much income do you receive through your Patreon each month?” that kind of thing. She’d have no choice but to go away and get her act together, maybe even learn some useful skills before coming back into the public eye.

Go on Jack, you could get better at being Jack Monroe. You’ve created this whole persona - why are you content with her being an easily called out bullshitter with what appears from the outside to be quite the personality disorder? Why don’t you want her to actually be smart and credible?

(ps if you’d told me even six weeks ago, never mind ten years ago, that I would be posting on a message board about Jack Monroe I would have thought you were fucking bonkers, yet here I am, it’s making me laugh)
 
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Boogs

VIP Member
Somewhat unrelated but I totally legally downloaded Good Food for Bad Days out of awful morbid curiosity and there is a rather hilarious moment of accidentally mask-slipping as Jack describes how the collective trauma of the litany of her parent's foster children was SO hard for HER that she had to spend most of her teen years morosely mooching around in book stops.

Imagine making somebody else's horribly difficult childhood about yourself. She's disgusting.
Oh my heart bleeds for her. I really should have considered the foster carers own children when I was thrown into a car and driven to live in a complete strangers house miles away from everyone and everything I knew late at night. I never realised that my feral arse was so traumatising to them 🙄
 
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Amanda Lin

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Hi Sue, how are you?
Me? I’m fine, doing amazing actually darling… I’ve got loads going on.

I also pretend to be a mandolin on the internet and I just got upgraded to “chatty member “
 
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If you don't want anyone to be concerned for your welfare then maybe don't tweet to half a million quarter-witted squigs things that will make them concerned for your welfare? Just a maverick thought.

Also her core isn't steel. It's mercury, the sloppiest metal.
 
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Thread title words from one of our newest frauen @Lucy Aeroplane nominated by @hellosailor⚓ you both receive a free tour of the Southend Museum of Artillery.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies. Please use 'thread title' in your thread title nominations and no swearing.

In the last thread:

She took exception to men in executive positions in supermarkets earning lots of money.

She still thinks irregardless is a word that intelligent people use.

More boring sixth form level tweeting about politics.

Right at the tail end of the last thread she brought out an absolute banger, claiming that mendacious malicious trolls reported some threats she'd talked about on Twitter and the police came for a welfare check. How she knew it was a troll and not someone who was genuinely concerned is a mystery. The best explanation is that it didn't happen. Now she is claiming everyone wants her dead again. We don't, dear heart, we just wish you would shut up.
 
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Upthisweek

Well-known member
Jack, somebody asking for a welfare check on you is pretty understandable after the drama of all your tweets, hardly wasting Police time. A Welfare check would be actioned if the informant was anonymous, it's irrelevant. Safety of life is priority.

Also the first thing Police would tell you to do (ex Police here, it's in the training) is to tell you to keep personal info off of social media And most importantly not to discuss your supposed stalkers or subsequent Police visits online as it may antagonise more or jeopardise any possible action against them. You would be told to show no reaction whatsoever in the public domain about it...

Or is it all just more lies from you to get more of the sympathy vote. 🤷‍♂️
 
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LennyBriscoe

VIP Member
Soooooo…someone told the Police Jack Con-roe receives threatening messages and rather than just saying “I don’t want to make a complaint”, she’s accusing the person of being a troll and now the Police will be after them?

And this banger needs to be brought forward from the last thread (TW: suicide/harm):

DE9F599C-4BDC-4F2F-9965-820BC9681448.jpeg


Core of steel? She develops bad mentals when someone questions the existence of the VBI.

Not feeling fine?
Thin blue line

(For what it’s worth, I think it’s this week’s episode of things that didn’t happen)
 
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EvilHag

New member
Somewhat unrelated but I totally legally downloaded Good Food for Bad Days out of awful morbid curiosity and there is a rather hilarious moment of accidentally mask-slipping as Jack describes how the collective trauma of the litany of her parent's foster children was SO hard for HER that she had to spend most of her teen years morosely mooching around in book stops.

Imagine making somebody else's horribly difficult childhood about yourself. She's disgusting.
 
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Sideboard Bob

VIP Member
If Jack‘s latest tweets are aimed at us, it’s kind of hilarious that she’s all,

“In your FACE trolls!”

and we’re just -

 
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LennyBriscoe

VIP Member
I bet the lovely officers made a swift exit once they were offered a slow cooker tea and some spite trifle.

My guess is something is brewing and this is her trying to get ahead of it.
“Would you like to see some pictures from our Jubilee celebrations Officers? Here’s a Grade A weapon - the cannon’s a bit loose and can go off at any time. The other is my dad’s gun”

 
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Five hundred dogs

VIP Member
I feel like someone should buy the domaine name “Vimes boots index” then create a web page to explain that it doesn’t currently exist and that it’s been xx weeks/days/hours since the date promised it would be ready by. At least then when people go looking for it they’ll know the truth.
 
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colouredlines

VIP Member
"The cleaner's name is Angie and one fact about her is that she loves wearing trousers."

"Congratulations Matt, you've got the job. Sadly we'll have to let Angie go. We can't have those sorts of radical views in the fire service."
 
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LennyBriscoe

VIP Member
I've reset my days, it's a bad time happening here, I come to this space for the absolute joy of words, of life and of taking the piss. I've fallen over but I will get back, the AA fraus, thank you, the non-AA fraus, thank you. I just need to say this. Now if anyone likes this message, I'll come after you with my hands and feet, so get ready, Grrrr no exceptions.
How are you doing today KP? You need to go to a meeting, you know that. It’s not what you want to hear but the quicker you get back, the better.

It’s happened - when we make amends etc we’re told “you only pay your gas bill once” (as in don’t keep going over it) so the same applies here. Do not beat yourself up. It’s one day at a time and if that’s scary, one hour at a time or one 10 minutes at a time. I know I’m a hypocrite for saying this but contact someone, phone someone you trust. Don’t drink any more.

I absolutely did not get it first time, but I kept going back and that’s the key. Nobody will tell you you’re an alcoholic but you. Are you powerless over alcohol and your life unmanageable? You need to be at a meeting if the answer yes.

Sending you lots of love KP - you can do this ❤
 
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