- Notice
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
I thought you might like to know that two years ago I wrote my list of five life goals and I'm pleased to announce that I've 
manifested all of them!
1. spend two years slagging off a malevolent grifter
2. make a bot to improve my efficiency at slagging off a malevolent grifter
3. eat water-porridge with fried banana skins and vegan bacon
4. learn where Redcar is
5. stop buying Linda McCartney products
manifested all of them!1. spend two years slagging off a malevolent grifter
2. make a bot to improve my efficiency at slagging off a malevolent grifter
3. eat water-porridge with fried banana skins and vegan bacon
4. learn where Redcar is
5. stop buying Linda McCartney products
ChickenPorridge
VIP Member
Jack and Harold haven't split guys, they popped up on my scroll through TikTok this morning and they're happier than ever
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
Thread title words by @Nottonightbabe nominated by @Valiofthedolls you both receive a free visit to a literal angel dentist who will caress your cheek and gaze longingly into your eyes.
New frauen check out the wiki which is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations only in the latter half of the thread, no swearing and please use the words 'thread title' in your nomination so it's easy to search please and THANKYOU X
Recap:
Jack has been the worst she's ever been which is concerning when you remember that when you think she has reached the point of being the worst, she inevitably gets worse.
She has a severe case of ouchy mouth and her tooth crumbled like a seashell in a pocket. It has not stopped her from eating potatoes at 2am so that's nice for her.
Her newest hobby of ten years is collecting discarded shopping lists. She plucked one from a puddle which was a portal to puzzle and promise. Apparently that's peak autism although it does appear more to the cable as peak twat.
Somehow she has got a new partnership with a major retailer and is working with Superdrug. Place your bets now on how long until she is softly and gently fired, like with the Lorraine segment.
New frauen check out the wiki which is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations only in the latter half of the thread, no swearing and please use the words 'thread title' in your nomination so it's easy to search please and THANKYOU X
Recap:
Jack has been the worst she's ever been which is concerning when you remember that when you think she has reached the point of being the worst, she inevitably gets worse.
She has a severe case of ouchy mouth and her tooth crumbled like a seashell in a pocket. It has not stopped her from eating potatoes at 2am so that's nice for her.
Her newest hobby of ten years is collecting discarded shopping lists. She plucked one from a puddle which was a portal to puzzle and promise. Apparently that's peak autism although it does appear more to the cable as peak twat.
Somehow she has got a new partnership with a major retailer and is working with Superdrug. Place your bets now on how long until she is softly and gently fired, like with the Lorraine segment.
holliebollie
Chatty Member
When I’m down to my last £19, I always buy a Chinese for two #jackshacks. Even if I were down to my last £50, I wouldn’t be getting a midweek takeaway.
Jack, day one: I have £19 in my bank. I live on maize snacks.
Squigs: Poor you, you do so much for so many. Let me transfer some funds.
Jack, day two: a house I was planning to buy has fallen through. I’m bereft. Actually, I’m okay. Another will come.
Lone critical squig: I thought you only had £19?
Jack: I MEANT RENT!!! I’M ALLOWED TO TYPE THE WRONG THING EVEN THOUGH I’M GIFTED WITH WORDS AND USE THEM WITH LASER ACCURACY! JESUS chuffing CHRIST!
My aneurysm is on its way.
Jack, day one: I have £19 in my bank. I live on maize snacks.
Squigs: Poor you, you do so much for so many. Let me transfer some funds.
Jack, day two: a house I was planning to buy has fallen through. I’m bereft. Actually, I’m okay. Another will come.
Lone critical squig: I thought you only had £19?
Jack: I MEANT RENT!!! I’M ALLOWED TO TYPE THE WRONG THING EVEN THOUGH I’M GIFTED WITH WORDS AND USE THEM WITH LASER ACCURACY! JESUS chuffing CHRIST!
My aneurysm is on its way.
PoorPatrol
VIP Member
“As you know, I will move mountains for that boy” yeah except, I dunno, asking your parents for food for him? Asking his dad to buy him shoes? Pay attention when you’re watching Umbrella Academy on your non-telly non-Netflix account with him, instead of Tweeting all night? Go ahead, move a fucking mountain. Or maybe start with not introducing another OfJack into his poor life every ten minutes!
ChickenPorridge
VIP Member
She got knocked back for a £10 per month internet contract a couple of weeks ago. Now she's putting offers in on a house? 
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
LOL the last screenshot, the person who said 'if she's becoming a labour candidate, she won't get my vote' is someone Jack actually follows. The Jackolytes are piling on regardless.
Last edited:
panda_eyes
VIP Member
Smeghead
VIP Member
So interesting learning what days of the week all her followers shop on. Everyone should check it out. There are a few shopping on a Thursday and some on Wednesday. Others are a Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If I’m honest, it literally blew my mind, so varied.
Sunday, Monday, Shopping Days. Tuesday, Wednesday Shopping Days. Thursday, Friday Shopping Days. Saturday, what a day, shopping all day with OH.
Sunday, Monday, Shopping Days. Tuesday, Wednesday Shopping Days. Thursday, Friday Shopping Days. Saturday, what a day, shopping all day with OH.
Last edited:
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
MeeShellMahBell
Active member
So why tweet about it you attention seeking little Jack of no trades?
BlendedSlop
VIP Member
I hope the bloody mystery box contains a boxing glove on a spring. Might knock out the manky tooth that crumbled to dust two nights ago but is also somehow still embedded in her jaw.
Speaking of the ouchy mouth, it won't come as a shock to anyone reading that her previous teeth tweets contradict the latest ones. 30 years of tooth trouble, yet the problems are due to overcrowding when her wisdoms came through, but her teeth were also "perfect" until The Poverty ruined them.
Speaking of the ouchy mouth, it won't come as a shock to anyone reading that her previous teeth tweets contradict the latest ones. 30 years of tooth trouble, yet the problems are due to overcrowding when her wisdoms came through, but her teeth were also "perfect" until The Poverty ruined them.
Last edited:
LennyBriscoe
VIP Member
My son is younger than SB and nobody knows how he’ll be by the time he reaches 11/12. But Jack doesn’t realise how lucky she is and I find that difficult to watch.
I would pay good money to be able to sit down and watch a film with my son. Chat about it, chat about him, listen to what he has to say.
Jack Monroe will never, ever be truly happy because she’s so ungrateful and can’t see that flashy things and pots of cash are not what it’s all about.
#sadlenny
HotesTilaire
VIP Member
Jack is so clever, ordering a big takeaway and eating leftovers the next day. I would usually just throw half away when it arrives as I can’t manage it all. Now I’ll have extra food! Thankspaceyou Jacques, for all that you tirelessly do, you’re a vital resource 
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
A home she's in love with has "fallen through"? She's looking at places to buy? Putting in offers? But she only has £19 in her bank account. I don't understand.
usefullyuseless
VIP Member
To be fair, houses with sea views are notoriously cheap
Cucumberthunder
VIP Member
Poor smol pixie couldn't possibly know something technical like that ...
Plus a couple of other posts about scheduling recipe posts and the #thunderclapforcarers stuff