Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[heretoreaditall2019]

Lol having a viewing/offer agreed is SO early in the process that it’s barely worth mentioning? It didn’t fall through, it just never happened.

Can’t help but wonder if the reason the agents aren’t letting her view is because she’s not a qualified buyer eg mortgage agreed or cash balance proven.

 

[FrannyGallops]

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Is there LITERALLY ANYTHING she hasn’t already done/done first?!

Squig: I’ve heard that rubbing the little toe on your left foot with a 3 day old potato handpicked by 40 year old virgin, then dancing widdershins round a yew tree by the light of the new moon helps toothache

Jack: Yes! That’s actually how I busted my ankle! I did it naked too. Gave Harold a right old fright

 

[Geetbo]

How many gigs of a lifetime can one woman fail to get? Her incompetence is almost impressive.

And if my name becomes a synonym for vulgarity I will howl and claw at the floor. Now fuck off.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Aaaand the other shoe drops. Publisher has given her a "hard" 7 day deadline to finally get her sodding book finished (I assume the previous 4 deadlines were just soft ones), so there's been a conveniently timed Jaccident.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m gonna call it he’s getting a diagnosis and or statemented, so munchiemama can piggyback “well of of COURSE he has “insert condition” because I have it

 

[MeeShellMahBell]

Nice that she brought out the same jumper again.

She sounds nervous because any minute someone from the food bank is going to ask her who the fuck she is.

This, imo, is worse than a visit by an MP. This is photo op for Monroe who is cosplaying as a poor person, I'm a poor person, it's an insult and slap on the face and it's pissed.me.off and it's on 7am.

 

[Hollaaa]

Is Geetbo going to become synonymous with rudery like Grunkalunka is with speed reading?? I keep using grunk IRL, if I say I’d geetbo him right up I’m definitely going to get Looks

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Ooooh!

 

[bladiesla]

I'd be happy for her to get a mortgage and don't care if she has money

What I do care about is the poverty cosplay and the begging for tips in the jar from people who have it worse.
I care about her lack of transparancy and the bullshit stories she creates to get people to donate.
I care about the nonsense advice she gives to people and the godawful recipes that do not work (but then she is contrantly praised, so you feel like shit having wated the money and effort on something shit).
I care about her blahblahblah about #bekind and mental health while stimulating pile-ons on random Twitter folks who dare to question our Lady of the Bollock Sausage.
I care about how she appropriates everything she comes accross to get some likes or attention online, taking attention away from people who deserve it and trivialising serious matters.
I care about how shit she treat vulnerable animals

Good for you if you get your mortgage and a house or whatever. Now fuck off.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her 'likes' are full of really suspicious bot-like accounts with 5 followers, blowing smoke up her arse. It's creepy.

This was in her her likes too, according to the profile he's .... exactly what you'd expect him to be (white)

 

[SweetTransvestite]

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Look lads, who hasn't had SEVERE, SCREAMING toothache then spent the evening chewing misshapen chicken balls with spicy satay sauce? Come on.

ETA. PERPETUAL TOOTHACHE

 

[FrannyGallops]

I'm shit at budgeting btw.

I just can't make the £970 a month stretch to become £1500 a month, I'm doing it wrong somehow..

I mean say what you like about Jack. But her budgeting skills are excellent. She manages to to make £19 stretch to Tiffany earrings, a Chinese takeaway once a week, Netflix, a weekend away in Venice and the rent on her two storey bungalow.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jumping ahead to say - she makes a sabbatical to the corner shop??? lmao & wtf. Truly peripatetic.

 

[Geetbo]

So she’s gone from not being able to afford her rent to being able to afford the deposit on a seafront property in Southend in less than a week.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I was actually convinced Jack was RSM when Jack went on a rant saying “this is my story” when in fact it actually wasn’t. I thought she had logged into wrong acccount. I know she isn’t RSM but I like to amuse myself with it.

Bucket list news:

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So she CAN afford a forever home??? I can’t. I literally cannot deal!!! Agghhhh

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[colouredlines]

AA Frauen look away please, I will now be having a shot every time Jack mentions autism or ADHD. I expect to be wasted within the hour.

 

[Geetbo]

I'm just too TIRED to think about Jack thumbing a carcass this morning.

 

[jenny2603]

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WHAT’S IN THE FUTHERMUCKING BOX?

That guy is going to fucking explode if she doesn't get that box opened soon.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Oh hun you just wait for that service charge ! Lifts regularly break down so you’ll still have to climb stairs

And whilst we’re at it, porters aren’t 24/7 security hun. They’re uncles who’ll tell you off for forgetting ur fob again and getting too many parcels, they’re defs not here to do close protection on Twitter’s most active accounts.