Jack Monroe #172 Grift, glaugh, glove

[Harrybosch]

View attachment 507037

Grapefruit.

Stop with the xenophobia. Just because a jaffa cake is by a Polish brand in a flavour you find unusual doesn't make it fake. This is the type of shit #actualimmigrants encounter all the time and it's tedious.

 

[Flivver]

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @traumatised sideboard for the words and @Captainmouse for nominating them for a thread title! Your joint prize: your choices of whichever inspirational Jack quote you want as a print for your wall. They start here.

Recap of last thread

1. She took the wheelchair emoji off her Twitter bio. Finally.
2. More forensic research from @colouredlines
3. For five glorious seconds Debbie McGee was thrown into the mix as her best friend, but sadly ... this is not true.
4. She ‘found a little happy place’. She found love in a slop-less place.
5. She’s ‘only really dipping in and out of social media at the moment’.
6. She offered up her ‘stupidly large platform’.
7. She told Marcus she was proud of him for cooking and he acknowledged her. And she acknowledged his acknowledgement. Marcus, mate.
8. She’s embracing her grey hairs cos #feminist
9. She’s stopped using shampoo cos #maverick
10. Spoiler: Housekeeping

    [*]
    Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
    
    There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
    
    New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
    
    
    
    [*]

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[MancBee]

What happened to that marvellous wallpaper planner? I thought she said it was perfect for her maverick brain. I am sure she would have kept it up if it actually worked............It was shown once and then never mentioned again. Like so many projects. Whisky flavour Kombucha anyone? Boring beige knitted blanket?

She dives headlong into a project, becomes an expert overnight, only for it to be cast aside and forgotten like the radiator dried mushroom dust in the back of the cupboard.

As an aside, I am in agony here. Painkillers ain't touching the sides.......don't anybody dare give me ideas for pain relief, I am sure I have completed them, mate.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Leave Jack alone, you ninnies. SHE DOESN'T DRINK GRAPEFRUIT.

November 2020. From @Silver Linings

 

[phoebuscartel]

 

[Veronicaaa]

Another baffling photo caption. "You’re never too old for a Colin from yer Ma" might work for a 33 year old getting a caterpillar cake from their mum, but literally no one thinks that a boy of 11 is "too old" for one.

 

[Emmapism]

Coming to Channel 5 this Autumn

Jack Monroe's 'Completed it, Mate'

In this 10-part series, food writer and accidental conquerer of her fears Jack Monroe meets with influential figures from the worlds of politics, engineering, law, medicine and the arts to offer her unique take on their bodies of work.

With little research and zero preparation, Jack will debate the finer points of some of the most complex topics of our time.

In her usual maverick style, Jack will offer up common sense solutions to the trickiest of issues, because she was on benefits that one time.

Filmed entirely on camera phone for added hyper realism, this ground breaking series pushes the boundaries of narrative storytelling, Ofcom regulations and taste.

Written, directed, filmed and scored by Jack Monroe. With additional thanks to nobody.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Look at this photograph

 

[PoorPatrol]

 

[colouredlines]

Oh yes, and let her start with a pan-Mediterranean tour, for the hilarity. PASTA SOLO!

Episode 1: Jack is shocked to discover that the Italians do not eat spaghetti hoops, and starts a change.org petition to introduce this staple to the country.

Episode 2: Jack travels to Romania, where she learns that living under the Ceaușescu regime was just like the time she couldn't have a Weetabix.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I'm sure that for some people no shampoo is better depending on hair type but I hope we're not going to see a descent into "ALL CHEMICALS ARE THE SAME AND BAD" Jack sharing dangerous misinformation.

Lead is natural, Cyanide is natural. Anchoiade eggs are natural and we can only imagine the terrible things those would do to a person's innards

Reminds me of when some blue ticker tried to claim we shouldn't wear masks because humans hadn't evolved to have natural face masks

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I present to you... Potatoes #3

 

[Malkiavelli]

 

[Pocahontas]

Ok .. last one from me. It’s been emotional but I spose we’d better wind it up soon-ish

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[PunkyMonkey]

Most people. Change their body cleaning stuff on the regular don't they?

I am always changing handtowels, flannels etc. Bathmats etc washed 2+ times a week. Bathroom big cleaned every other day and toliet every day( the joys of boys)

Is she implying that people are normally grubby and she is extremely clean by changing her flannel everyday. As mentioned before isnt it normal?

I have just noticed are threads turn boring when she pipes up recently as we start talking about shite.

Do you think she trying really hard to bore us to death?! She's succeeding!

My flannels clean themselves. I just leave them in a little wet heap after a vigorous water washing and lo, their natural oils keep them plush and bright.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

"Stuffed into the crevices of a pork pie"

How does she manage to make things sound truly vile? It's her one true talent