Jack Monroe #172 Grift, glaugh, glove

[PoorPatrol]

 

[colouredlines]

Episode 8: in Barcelona, Jack is offered the chance of a lifetime to spend a day with Ferran Adriá at the El Bulli Foundation. She is so excited at the prospect of working alongside the world's greatest chef that she stays up all night tweeting about cattos, oversleeps, then declares that she has ouchy mouth and will have to reschedule.

 

[colouredlines]

Episode 5: In Germany, Jack is HOWLING to learn that she has been plagiarised, as thousands of Germans eat currywurst without crediting her as its creator. Later, she learns a sobering lesson about modern history at the Checkpoint Charlie museum in Berlin. "I can really relate," sobs Jack, "we have walls in Southend, too."

 

[Silver Linings]

There would be no natural oils left after that! She’s talking about a bloody car wash.

 

[bladiesla]

Given that she's about 15 years behind in 'discovering' Polish supermarkts and the no 'poo idea, I look forward to her tweeting about how great the movie Little Miss Sunhine was and that her favourite background music for cooking is the Killers. Welcome to 2006 y'all! (Now fuck off x)

 

[MaineCoonMama]

She's going to discover great-aunt Wiktoria now, isn't she?

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Forgot to say Thankyou x for the thread title, I can't wait to plaster my RENTED flat with motivational posters so that I can view inspiration from every angle and draw strength from Jack's wisdom in moments of self-doubt and disheartenment Here's a present to show my appreciation for the cabal.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Marking a year(?) since DKL!

 

[Peachy9]

I love dipping in every few days for a thorough grunk and seeing what character Jack is playing. I see the greek amam has left the building and we have Jacek Monrowski in her place

You can guarantee she's still going to take all of those ingredients and throw them in a cold pot, boil for 3 hours, add half a teaspoon of curry powder (right at the end of the cooking process) and serve in a pair of cupped hands. Why even bother?!

 

[colouredlines]

FFS, Polish shops were all over the place when I lived in England, and I left 15 years ago! Plus, isn't it pretty much Rule #1 of budgeting to check out Asian and Eastern European shops? Herbs, spices, condiments etc are often much cheaper. How does she not know this?

(To be clear to any Polish Frauen and Herren: the reactions were for Jack's descriptions of how she eats your food, not the food itself. Except that jar of mushrooms, which looks disturbingly like a butt plug.)

Also: now her book has a flannel chapter? This has nothing to do with saving money, surely? Seems like a desperate attempt to meet the word count through repetition: Put the soft soft flannel in the hot hot water. Ooh ooh!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Spoiler: And our response would be:

Get it up you!

 

[SlopAmbsase]

"I make shit with my hands"

Never a truer word...

May LJC bless you, @colouredlines

 

[Captainmouse]

Late to the party

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Cyprus, your DNA is strong. So strong that it gave Jack a chunky....

 

[Pocahontas]

Easter Weekend Exclusive.

My Secret Shame: “I told her to use more drizzle but she left me dry.”

Confidence destroyed: “The soggy peaches ruined my aesthetic but she wouldn’t listen.”

Trauma in the kitchen: “When she sliced into me, I crumbled.”

All this and more, this Easter Sunday. Read all the (non-) juicy details here first.

 

[narcosaurus rex]

Episode 14: Jack travels to a small Italian village where she tries to pastasplain to an 80-year old Italian grandma why tinned tomatoes are better, before remembering she's allergic and howling and clawing at the floor.

Episode 14a: in the second part of this Italy special, Jack educates the locals on how to cook pasta. They are awestruck by her time-saving method that allows the pasta to retain all of its crunch.

 

[colouredlines]

Can’t afford butter but can subscribe to a completely pointless badge subscription. I’m sure it was a gift or emerged from the puddle or some shit I’ve never known anyone claiming money worries to spend so compulsively on such shite
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#NoSpendYear

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Episode 12: jack travels to Vienna and is meant to learn to make the famous Sache Torte cake at the Central Cafe for some local dignitaries, but refuses as none of them have been near her vagina.

 

[PoorPatrol]