Jack Monroe #172 Grift, glaugh, glove

[bladiesla]

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[colouredlines]

Ooh, how about this for a TV series?

Jack Monroe's Europe

Popular(?) food writer Jack Monroe travels across Europe on a culinary odyssey. In each new destination, she eats a burger at an American chain restaurant then buys a packet of cup-a-soup and some biscuits. Learn about culture and cuisine as you watch Jack tweeting furiously from dozens of different hotel rooms!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Absolutely hooting at the motivational images. I was working on the Slopbot gallery earlier and somehow (I didn't even know this was possible) turned part of the image into a brush. Obviously my immediate thought was 'Jack must become brush'.

 

[phoebuscartel]

 

[Ladderedtights]

Must...stop...can’t...stop. I’m jacked in!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[PoorPatrol]

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I have to feature this classic and beautifully eloquent quote from Jack.

 

[blurstoftimes]

yay i'm not too late to join in!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oooooh can I do one pls pls

 

[colouredlines]

Not to reopen the great birthday cake debate, but:

If the options were

a) a knockoff Colin the Caterpillar
b) a pile of pancakes spray-painted gold
c) this

...you'd go for Colin every time, wouldn't you?

 

[harveydean]

Oh these are just too funny

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'm convinced she makes this shit up on the spot. What situation would your ever need to use this in life. It's so try hard it hurts.

"Darling could you pass me my monkey flannel"
"Oh here you are darling but why do you call it so?"
"Because darling when I put hot water on it and touch it to my face it makes me go ooh, ooh, ooh."
"Darling...bit gauche."

I'm no expert but isn't hot water terrible for your facial skin, the dehydration! That's why they say not to wash your face in the shower because the water for your body is too hot for the face!

 

[SlopAmbsase]

My final offering... Potatoes #4 (and a half GCSEs)

 

[FlashBoof]

I think I am coming close to binning off Twitter after over a decade of happily pottering around on it. I noticed that yesterday’s lone contrary squig has deleted her tweets about using a body scrub after Jack and the Flying Monkeys snubbed it.

I also noticed that RSM, of the crowd funded wheelchair and virtually bed ridden status, has decided to go all warrior at the school gates over a bully, and not only has she threatened to get physical, but has also used it as an opportunity to slip in a joke about Ian Huntley. I only looked over there because she replied to Jack about the hair thing and has ordered a soap bar for seven quid. The grift must be going well then, seeing as most of her timeline is moaning about her rent and her benefit assessments.

I am just so over all these cunts to put it bluntly. It’s as bad as the Johnson/Acuri saga, or the Conservative donors & PPE procurement contracts, in my opinion. The only difference is the number of zeros on the end of the grift.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

These are so addictive

 

[PoorPatrol]

 

[Harrybosch]

For any of you cross stichers out there, I've created a pattern. Marvel at the preview.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Episode 10. Jack is run out of Mallorca on a pedalo for making paella with Tesco long grain rice, cold-fried onion, and a tin of tuna.