Unjaded Jade #10 the next literary sensation, will her new book have a German translation

[meweme]

"our pretty gal Mother Earth"

That was enough to make me throw my phone out of the window tbh. What the heck is wrong with this girl?

 

[gossip_guy]

I tried reading the sample of her book, and good lord... It continues the influencer vanity book trend of clearly being shoved onto shelves with no editor intervention, with punctuation errors as early as page 1.

But the ego on display is something else...

"I went to a state school just outside London where I felt very uncool for liking learning. I watched many of my peers give up before they even started and saw teachers come and go, sometimes leaving mid-way through the exam year. In other words, my school was hardly the peak of academia. But I’ve always cared a lot about learning and I decided early on that I was really going to try."

So Jade was more committed to academia than anyone at her school, including those deadbeat teachers, who had the sheer audacity to do something as irresponsible and flaky as to...get a new job part-way through the year? How dare those quitters not wait a whole year to change jobs for any number of reasons! They didn't even try, unlike Jade! Family issues? Work-related stress? The promise of better pay and a better home-life balance elsewhere? Pssh! Nothing but excuses for not being committed to the pursuit of knowledge and the prestige of academia.

I mean, the one thing I'll say is that Jade clearly didn't ghostwrite this shit; this book was clearly the product of her spoilt, deluded ego.

 

[quarantinamdr]

breaking news: the whitest white girl ever to white girl, born to an english parent in england, is actually exotic because she also has heritage from another hugely coloniser nation AND (most likely like 1/8th at most) from one of that nation's former colonies, <3 which we love <3

(not that it's bad to be dutch, of course not! just pointing out how laughable that she finds it the most interesting and worldly thing about herself such that she begins every self introduction with it)

 

[swishswishbish1]

This is a really petty thing but I’m two minutes into the DNA video and she’s already said that she’s a biology nerd like three times… Girl where?? Your university doesn’t even offer labs and as far as I remember she isn’t even doing natural sciences at Minerva

Update: okay I laughed out loud when she said “My IQ is very average, as expected” - yes, yes we did in fact expect that

 

[Oatmeall]

"Today I feel like a horrible human"
""

 

[HollyLeaf]

So she’s trying to spin her easy privileged wealthy girl upbringing as a story of “fighting against the odds to succeed”. Loathsome.

 

[gossip_guy]

"Ohmygoshh, can you believe this, my book is right next to Michelle Obama's!"

This just means that someone (*cough*Jade*cough*) put Michelle Obama's book in the wrong genre section. Her book should be in the Biographies & Memoirs section, not Health & Wellbeing. And for a supposedly educated person, you'd think she'd know how genres work. I mean, The Great Gatsby and 50 Shades of Grey are both in the Fiction section, that doesn't make them of comparable quality, Jade.

 

[peterbread]

With peace and love, the fact she’s starting a series about the “summer of self” or whatever and she’s making videos telling people how to learn to enjoy their own company just shows how detached from her audience she is. Jade, we were all alone from March 2020 to now pretty much, whilst you were with your Minerva friends travelling the world. We had to learn to enjoy our own company then. Now that you’ve come back from university and have decided that you’re going to teach us this radical new idea with which we are already too familiar, the rest of us would prefer to start going out again and seeing our friends, which you did when we were unable to.

 

[peterbread]

Does anyone else feel like the whole mental health discussion being turned into “having bad days is ok” by influencers will mean that people struggling with actual diagnosable conditions like depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar, will feel isolated from the discussion and like their conditions are not normal due to mental health just being about having off days or feeling sad. The truth is, if your mental health would be improved just by “being kinder to yourself” as Jade said in the reel, you probably don’t have mental health issues.

 

[peterbread]

Watched the intro to the new vid, probably wont watch more. She goes on about how unconfident and shy she used to be, and now she has “solo travelled across the world, done a french course in france, published a book”. Yes, perhaps confidence is needed for that. But I think what helps more with doing those things is money. She is in such a privileged position that not many other people are in. Yet the video is like “you can become confident too!” When in reality to do the things she mentions in the video, you need to be wealthy and live an extremely privileged life.

 

[peterbread]

Yeah jade thank you that double chin clip really altered my perception of social media. I will remember that next time im depressed in my university room in a national lockdown in the middle of winter, and see a certain influencer’s instagram stories of her flying across europe and having a great time. Because I am sure that can be interpreted in so many ways. Social media isnt always the truth!

 

[peterbread]

"I went to a state school just outside London where I felt very uncool for liking learning. I watched many of my peers give up before they even started and saw teachers come and go, sometimes leaving mid-way through the exam year. In other words, my school was hardly the peak of academia.

This very unacademic description of her school doesn’t really fit with what she said about the school not putting her on a board or whatever because she was taking a gap year and not going to university straight away. Also she’s hardly the only one who cares about learning if the other head girl got into Oxford. If I went to her school I would be pretty pissed off by this comment.

I was unsure about how deprived her school was since she made it out in the book to be very unacademic and having no standard of teaching whatsoever. I don't really think going to a school where 33% of grades are A/A* will put you at any disadvantage. Also, interesting to note that she got 10 A*s and an A, which is great but it caught my attention because she still goes on now about how she got "all A*s at GCSE and A Level". The only reason I bring it up is because I got the same grades and I never said I got all A*s at GCSE because it wasnt true.

 

[neina]

Being from eastern europe, I also love how dissapointed she seems at that ~~2:05 mark when she discovers a whole 40% of her ancestry is eastern european. oh no so uninstagrammable, heart is broken, which we don't love

 

[doublepops]

there you go, saved you all a click.

 

[peterbread]

She volunteered at a disability charity... to speak to boys

 

[ECH]

She really does think she's Berkshire's answer to Malala doesn't she

 

[curlysue123]

yes "unfortunately 0% African and 0% Middle Eastern"

 

[gossip_guy]

yeah, or even vice versa, i.e. thye had planned to go to Brighton, watched a vlog of Jade's before going to sleep and it just merged together in a dream. Either way I think the whole thing is fiction, she would have taken pictures with them if it was true imo

It wouldn't shock me at all if she made it up.

On her next day trip she'll be like, "Okay guys, you will not believe what happened! Ya gahhl drove herself all the way to Cornwall, because I was like, 'Jade, you can do this! You have a driving license!' And I only went and did it! #achieveyourdreams

And when I stepped out of the car, who did I see? It was only the Dalai Lama! And he recognised me! Ya gahhl was shook to her core.

He said I was such an inspiration to him, and I was like, "Ohmigosh, I love you too! And I love llamas because I'm vegan!" And we just chilled and chatted about life and the universe and he took a copy of my book!

I would've taken a picture or video, but it's really important to just live in the moment. Now here's 17 stories of me reading under a tree."

 

[HanHanHan]

For those who havent seen the latest video, her brother is going to Bath for uni

Ahh a reputable, normal uni in a lovely city that doesn't require you to jet off around the world every six months!!

 

[ECH]

She really thinks she's somehow proving Oxford wrong, even though no one who was involved in her rejection will have any clue who she is and most people at Oxford will have the critical thinking skills to realise Minerva is a scam