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Jikki2

Chatty Member
The threads are running faster than French dogs! How can only fifteen internet idiot hater yentas produce so much prose?

Let's try to recap a little.

The previous thread started light-hearted with some fun over the Viagra blue room. Tattlers were not impressed. I personally don't really care how she decorates her pile of rocks but a table in front of a door is plain weird and a flower vase balanced over a door is just a concussion waiting to happen.

Another Channel 4 project got some comments, too. How does she drain a lake, create a shitshow about the hoops she needs to jump to get it back and then goes on to drain a pond without permits?

Falling ceilings have become so common place in the Shatoo at this point that the owners just open a bottle of wine and not many even care to comment. At least no one has died. Yet.

Most debate still took place over the outing of the Douche Dutch Boyfriend. Was it all planned? Is Snorty behind the leak? Stefanny says it was a misunderstanding. Probably because she doesn't want to get kicked out of the show like the Methricks. People have different theories but Stefanny looked like she got prick by a hedgehog. I would say she got caught with her knickers around her ankles but she doesn't wear any.

After using the extremely scientific method of this-is-how-it-looked-to-me, I can say that few Tattlers thought the age difference makes the relationship icky and eww but most don't really care. I think Snorty should finish his education and Stefanny, as the one with more life experience, should push the hobosexual back to school. Seems like she might just do that if not only to get rid of him in the future. I'm only thinking what's best for Snorty and not my snort-free viewing experience.

The employer-employee aspect bothered a lot of people, especially on the other side of the pond but not as much on this side. It's just not such a taboo in Europe though it is a bit more complicated matter. We'll see how her largely American audience reacts to hiring a personal rentboy. And is his job title now an escort? Or a toy boy? What exactly he gets paid for? Does she only pay for his time and everything else that happens is between consenting adults? (If you get that reference, you need to clean your browser history.)

Most cringe entertainment was offered by the live Q&A (thank you @MojoDublin).
Snorty was desperate to talk about their relationship while Stefanny looked embarrassed and tried to deflect. Best part was when Snorty talked about marriage. He has clearly thought about it. Stefanny has a very distinctive fake laughter which she uses a lot so it was very refreshing to hear her genuine laughter to Snorty's ridiculous idea of a marriage. I want that scene on replay. Other than that, the Q&A was a typical train wreck with no updates on anything important. Where's the money going?!

If I may comment on the debate about being deceived (and I may because this is Tattle and all opinions are welcome and that's something the haters on Patreon don't get), I understand wanting to keep a fresh relationship out of the public eye but as time went on, they employed clear tactics to dupe the viewers. For example, Snorty's move to another room was all about smoke and mirrors. The word is out and spreading fast so they need to come clean on YouTube and carry on. But Stefanny is blowing it out of proportion, making herself the victim and raking in the money. It's all about deceiving, duping and defrauding.

From defrauding we get to the employment issues at the Shatoo. I gave her the benefit of the doubt of possibly employing Nutty and Snorty legally but that possibility has been put to the test. She may be hiring them as self-employed contractors in order to avoid her responsibilities as an employer. Well, she's in for a surprise when Inspection du travail finds out what's going on (report her, please). I wonder what her co-owners, Potty and Baggy, think of being partly responsible and coincidentally each being liable for up to a 45000 euro fine and three years' imprisonment. Or, with aggravating circumstances like multiple breaches over several years, it's up to 100000 euros in fines and ten years in prison. I'm expecting a vlog from Potty and Baggy on their life as prison bitches.

Oh my, I might be a little hungover and horny but I'm trying to catch up on Chateau DIY. What is my life?

Nevertheless, I wish all the best to the Queen of Lalande and his Sugar Mummy.
 
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Now please tell us about dinner!
Ive never commented much before because most of this stuff is known or gleaned from vlogs and I’m here for the fabulous work the tattlers do uncovering bullshit, not so much the nastier posts from occasional posters and I did not want to be in that group. We were told that dinner was at 7.30. A few of us gathered in the salon as there didn’t seem to be anywhere else to gather, nobody was there, no apéro offered, at 8.15 Stephanie appeared and said they were running late, big smile swift retreat. We sat down to dinner around 8.45 and spirits were high, one of our fellow holidaymakers was a skilled raconteur so the lack of attention or alcohol was barely missed. Food wise we were served bruschetta, then lasagne in many different allergy resistant forms with beetroot hummus, go figure. then came a truly terrible gluten free cake cooked by FRK. It was not what I hoped for following my travels through the country. She was very serious and proud of her efforts despite Stephanie teasing her that she wasn’t coeliac, she saw her eat a croisant. My one night only brief glimpse of people - I really liked FRK, friendly, naive and sweet. Isabelle i didn’t have much to do with but my husband LOVED her, they spent a lot of time together so the feeling was mutual apparantly (He’s charming and handsome) Gerry - polar opposite to vlogs and TV, this man is hilarious, really dry wit which I don’t think is displayed on the vlogs. Stephanie - I didnt take to nor did my husband, she watered her one glass of white wine and disappeared. Petheric was there too and was a drunken mess, he was there because they were filming the next day and he
eat anything but salad leaves even though he was as drunk as a skunk drinking cocktails all day with the handsome gay couple there Château hunting, he NEEDED to be trim. Told stories about a french man he was in a relationship with at the time. These were my observations from one night alone, obviously they have informed my views but when I shortly afterwards moved to a more humble home, i stopped watching as I was busy dealing with my own renovation problems and when I saw (at the time) Tomas parading round like he owned the joint in gave up on all château channels.
 
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ComtesseRose

VIP Member

OMG! 😭😭😭😭
I never thought I'd ever be in this position. I'd like to give my "hater's" speech and thank the Academy of Tattle.Life
Who during the pandemic have given me great laughs, when I felt isolated and alone.
I myself got recommended Sir Trotter's vlogs during the pandemic and I watched them.
I found them charming, then his skit with La Jarvis, made me curious as to who she was. One thing lead to another.
But it was Baghead Nic, who lead me to Tattle.Life. They say curiosity killed the cat and oh boy did it. I was curious as to what he looked like and why he hid, all while being in front of the cameras. 🙄
I never felt people on here were haters, I laughed along with the wittyness tattlers produced here. As an anonmynous lurker I couldn't watch the attachments, so I decided to become a member and the rest is herstory, I guess. 😁 Luckily I was never accused of being a châteauverse character by @MojoDublin, how I survived that I do not know. 🤭
There is so much...
A big thank you to @Jules100 and @Pno for their contribution to the thread title.
An honourary thank you to @pettyicequeen who started these threads.
Also a list of tattlers do miss: Although I was happy to see some return during the big KABOOM.
@Bored Mermaid CC I hope you are doing well with the storm damage and with your mother.
@Mummy Dearest We so miss your witty recaps, hope all is well. I have to say @Jikki2 made an excellent one 😘👌
@Princess and the Pea We miss those Natti skits, they were hillarious.
@lalablahblah I do miss your harsh wit, some of it made me chuckle.
@ProfessorPlum Look I'm somebody now. 😝😂
There are so many more I wanted to tag, but couldn't remember the names of. I hope you are all well in the real world.
Also to the lurkers, who react to our posts, I do hope you'll join the fun someday... 🤗
And @Heathcliffe will never reach official VIP status
Thank you. 💖💖💖
 
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Tell us more! Tell us everything! and also, welcome @Dowager Duchess
I only stayed for one night on a tour of France so I done have much to impart. We stayed in what they called the honeymoon suite and when switching on the lights the switch moved as nothing was held in place, the silk on the walls was not secured and there were places where you could see the old fibre board stapled on. In the bathroom they had painted or papered top and bottom independently and there was no border, it looked decidedly unfinished. A beautiful tea set was laid out but no milk, powdered or fresh. We weren’t told anything about the place or the area and dinner was an hour late, dinner was another story! I was still in thrall and walked away the nest day thinking I’d had a wonderful experience. That’s what we are up against here - in the face of absolute shite some are dazzled by the reach of fame.
 
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OhIDontKnow...

VIP Member
I’ll bet old Flip is in quite a state right now. All this drama goes down, he’s not sure how it will affect his relationship, and he has to go out of town for work. He must be going nuts not being able to be there to guard his place and leave her alone with people he knows don’t like him. It’s must be so overwhelming that he can’t work and had to lie about his laptop being broken.

“They’ll see how much I do” he sobbed to himself as he shut the notebook and settled back into his seat on the train, exhausted from the four hour attempt to get Stephanie to feature their relationship in the next Chateau Diaries. “If I post a message on the channel then people can comment”, he thought to himself as he wiped his tears. Drawing a deep breath, Philip then began to mentally inventory his belongings now resident at the chateau. “She’ll never want me to leave, she loves how my silver service looks with the pink Limoges set” he thought to himself. “I have to get back there as soon as I can”, he resolved.

Knowing that Headless Nick and Potty were there alone with her was making him crazy. He knew the onslaught would be relentless. They would work for hours suggesting why he wasn’t good enough to be the sex toy - continuously reiterating his lack of food and wine knowledge and questionable wardrobe choices. Potty was his main concern. “I can’t compete with either of them in the money department”, he sighed to himself. “But they can’t do the Charleston either,” he snorted. And with that he was reinvigorated and opened his laptop to finish editing.
 
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What’s going on here anyway? I see members suddenly I haven’t seen here before.
Sadly I was bamboozled by it all. I'm a patron but am rethinking that decision. I will admit I found the CD so entertaining during 6 months of unemployment. It's a great escape and Stepahnie is so good at storytelling. My faves were her sundays vids where you learned a ton about something historical. I'm not at all upset at their dating, although I cannot picture them together AT ALL, but after all of you have opened my eyes to everything I wasn't seeing...well I'm still spinning. I can't believe I missed it all.
 
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TheTaxInspector

VIP Member
*** VIE DE CHÂTEAU EXCESSES: HER LAZINESS AND DILIP THE HUMAN HEDGEHOG ***


Her Laziness woke up feeling extremely tired after a long and difficult night. The dark circles around her eyes were growing ever larger and she was running out of concealer. Concealing things came naturally to her, as there was much to conceal in her life – her romance with Dilip the Human Hedgehog was the latest embarrassment. After being accused by some of her fans of being a cradle snatcher, she had spent many hours trying to stimulate Dilip’s hedgehog - unsuccessfully. So, she switched out her bedside light and was just about to pop off when she heard a terrible commotion downstairs in the farmhouse.

Everyone was running around shouting and screaming. She quickly got out of bed and ran downstairs in her nightdress, followed by Dilip in his pink pyjamas covered with hedgehog motifs. She ran in a panic down one corridor and then another, and then - to her horror - she discovered what all the commotion had been about … a large hole had appeared in one of the ceilings and there was debris, bits of plasterboard, and wet pieces of insulation all over the floor. She was absolutely devastated … her dreams of owning the perfect farmhouse had been shattered. It soon became apparent that Ian the Builder - who had a habit of bodging the jobs he was entrusted with – was responsible for the catastrophe, as water could be seen dripping from one of the pipes he had recently installed. The occupants quickly cleared up the mess, while Her Laziness filmed their valiant efforts – just in case there were any doubts as to the sheer extent of the incompetence in the place. Once the floor had been sufficiently cleaned and various objects, including two Venetian mirrors, had been placed out of harm’s way, Her Laziness returned to her boudoir, followed by Dilip, who seemed to have wet his pants.

They both woke up at around 1 p.m. the next day, feeling absolutely exhausted. The first thing Her Laziness did was to check her Patreon page to make sure it was still there. There was a light knock at the door. ‘Come in, come in’, she said … the door opened tentatively and one of the servants appeared, holding a silver tray with scones and two large mugs of sugary tea, and a pile of letters from her adoring fans. The hot scones were abnormally large, dripping with butter, cream, and jam. Dilip was busy on his laptop, researching the meaning of the word ‘camel toe’, which he had discovered whilst reading his favourite hate site – Tattle. Her Laziness jumped out of bed and drew back the curtains, with such enthusiasm that one of them came off the rail and landed on the floor – the afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the window panes, which hadn’t been cleaned for as long as she could remember. Outside were the empty fields and roads and not a person in sight … a poignant reminder of the fact that she literally lived in the middle of nowhere. She was dying to get away and travel again, but Covid had obliged her to abandon all her plans. She turned to Dilip and said: ‘Shall we go down for breakfast?’


... to be continued
 
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Jeeves

VIP Member
Selmar has a new vlog out. I skipped through, not bad for a Selmar.

And he shares some night sounds at the end of the video.

Ooh er, Missus. I think he might need to be careful posting some of the night sounds that may heard coming from Lalande.
 
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YOU WIN A PIE!!!! (again).


Chateau Unwrapped!15 minutes ago
Hello everyone! I’m so sorry that I have to postpone tonight’s Cadeaux to Wednesday. As you all know, I’m going back and forth between France and the Netherlands, because of my musical rehearsals. Just now, on the train, my laptop broke and I’m unable to finish and post Cadeaux in time. I’m going to try and find a solution and as there’s a regular Chateau Diaries tomorrow, I’ll post this one on Wednesday. Love, Philip
:ROFLMAO:My laptop broke. Uhu. Sure! Maybe the same type of laptop my students use, and which regularly breaks down when a deadline for their academic papers looms? :rolleyes::ROFLMAO:
 
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T Rex

VIP Member
Most of us like them. I certainly do. Classy place and bonus points for:
Speaking languages
Using local labour
Having good taste
Sense of humour
Sharing the work and finishing in a timely Manor. Their patrons must be very happy with them.
They are hard-working, level headed and have a great sense of humour. Sure, they have a weekly sponsor, but that generates an additional revenue source for them. If one had two choices for a B&B- stay at LaLande or stay at Honfleur, most would probably choose Honfleur, as one can be assured the ceiling is not going to cave in, the bedding is clean, the heating system is operational, and a proper breakfast would be served at a set time.) Neither Philip nor Anna make extravagant purchases- they are frugal, and the money they do spend is for the betterment of their chateau. They embrace French life, and are passionate about the area they live in.
 
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So Phiilip was drunk and telling a story where he was with a man? And were they together by this point? That's not great service for the prices. I wish you had taken pics of things in the rooms.
No no no, BJJ had not arrived yet, it was the summer before his arrival and Michael Petherick seemed to be on full self destruct. I did not feel comfortable around him at all. In addition, i was sat near to a Russian/Eastern European volunteer that talked to himself throughout dinner and didn’t respond to anything I said. It was not a good dinner.
 
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KiKiGee

VIP Member
SJ may need to employee Sherrie Petherick. :unsure: She has experience with deletions.
Nothing says Christmas like blue floral pumpkins.🤪
From the yesterday's CD's community comments...

1636406648533.png
Kai Handren

1 day ago
Look @ that table -- Philip you've out-done yourself ... need the whole thing / glam dinner party shots ...( Phillip-- hope you & Steph are putting together a book of the LaL glam / and travels ... yes ?)

REPLY

Ruth Bernstein
1 day ago
Where did it say Philip did the table setting?

REPLY

Marta Ekme
3 minutes ago
Obviously fake Philip didn’t do anything. He barely knows how to dress himself in the mornings...
 
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Parrfect Porcelane

Well-known member
Another takeaway for me from the Patreon Q&A is how frequently she tried to convey how important the patrons are to her. She really knows how to manipulate and can play her devoted fans like a fiddle. It reminded me of when I was still a patron and she and Cat were going to organize a live Zoom call for the highest tiered patrons. This pissed off many who weren't in a qualifying tier so she released another patron video where she apologized, said she never meant to offend or exclude anyone, and how important all of her patrons are to her. I ended my patronage at that point because I had many concrete examples showing that what she says and what she does are very different.
 
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Gibson

VIP Member
I can't see the issue with the Honfleur bunch. So they got sponsorship. So they thank their patrons. If you don't want to support them, don't. Its not as if they spend a whole video brown nosing folks for sending crap, every week, or however often the do at Shitoo Lowlande. They have a style, and a sense of humour not to everyone's taste, but they get stuff done, and show gratitude, unlike others. Apart from their involvement with plant killer, not much wrong with them.
Most of us like them. I certainly do. Classy place and bonus points for:
Speaking languages
Using local labour
Having good taste
Sense of humour
Sharing the work and finishing in a timely Manor. Their patrons must be very happy with them.
 
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MsPitstop

VIP Member
Anyone want to break the news to Juniper Jane?

Juniper Jane
10 minutes ago
I just watched the diy show and they announced that Philip and Stephanie are dating. I am thinking they've made a mistake about that. It's none of our business really but thought it was strange they stated that, I mean she could really be his mother and she doesn't seem the type to cross appropriate boundaries with the volunteers and staff especially ones 2 decades younger. 🤔
 
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