The Chateau Diaries #311 Got to pretend to be in the UK for 181 days a year to be a UK tax resident!

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Congratulations to one of our most recent VIPs @AndAnotherName for naming the thread, honourable mentions go to @Lady Lindy & @Tartuffe

@Frenchie0810 has a honour waiting for them, so does @shatcho shiek . Can't wait to see what you come up with. ❤

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TorontoGWM

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Tuesday at 11:31 PM
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Last edited: Tuesday at 11:38 PM
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Jules100

VIP Member

Wednesday at 6:35 AM
It is so hard to keep up around here. Sometimes I catch them & sometimes I miss them. I hope the recent birthday hell hounds had a special day. Here are a couple throwbacks to years gone by.

@C'est moi
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@JackSpratt
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Unfortunately, there are so many tartlets facing health issues. I guess that’s life. I’m sorry for what you are all dealing with, each in your different ways. I’m glad that Stephanie has brought us all together from around the world, it’s the best thing she’s ever done. Please keep fighting and remember laughter is the best medicine, along with sweet, sweet Miller Lite.❤

Last edited: Wednesday at 6:41 AM
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Le Baiseur

VIP Member

Tuesday at 11:58 PM
UvulaDonor said:
Can anyone do a photoshop of poorman's consort with no hair. I just get the feeling that we've been wrong all along and he actually looks better with various hair arrangements, than bald.
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Last edited: Wednesday at 12:04 AM
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C'est moi

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Tuesday at 10:49 AM
Thank you @ComtesseRose for the new thread and congrats to @Lady Avonlea for naming.

Enjoy your concert @ComtesseRose full report on the tattler desk in the morning please.

I realise now that I was remiss with my thanks on the last thread, so thank you to all. You keep me amused and saine.

I find that I can't watch Despicable fanny and Thrush, or in fact any of the dump crew, for more than a couple of seconds at a time. So all you tattlers, your input is excellent. I thank each and everyone of you for taking one for the team.

@JackSpratt her fans may not keep shelling out much longer. Not because the penny's dropped but because the old fools have dropped dead! She will see them in their graves before she gives up the grift, so callous is she.

Good to hear you are having a break in the rain and better weather is arriving for you. We are definitely moving into summer. Last couple of days tapping on 30° which is my perfect summer temperature. Helps stop all the aches and pains!

As happenstance would have it I was in Pezenas last week. No Jarvis' or Richmonds were spotted as I believe all had left the country or were out of the country at that point. All the overpriced tit shops, sorry brocunts, were open. They will certainly be a magnet for the gruesome twosome. We looked for a restaurant to eat but they were all busy with very pale skinned brits in pastel coloured clothing so we gave it a swerve and headed back to Béziers for a quick lunch on the allées Paul Riquet. Not Le Cristal. I was recently informed that not only was this establishment popular with brits and the local belligerent population but also with all the winos as the bar will continue serving them when other bars won't. Now who did we see there recently who appears to drink a lot, always with a glass in hand... hmm.

I actually had the most amazing week. I saw the new orthopaedic surgeon and he has said that a new knee prosthesis is an absolute must. The interior is completely fucked and no amount of cortisone or hyaluronic acid will give any relief. But only half knee as the exterior side is normal and intact. I could have jumped up and kissed him. I'm booked in for early July!

Yesterday, I saw the new rhumatalogue. OMG, what a star. He concurred with the orthopaedic surgeon that the interior of the knee is completely fucked and that while injections may bring some relief it's not the solution. So everything is moving forward in the right direction. I fully intend walking another stretch of the Puglian aqueduct and swimming in the Ionian sea again later on this year. My goals.

So my dear @JackSpratt and all other tattlers with health issues keep pushing forward and insist upon 2nd, 3rd or even 4th opinions. The two so-called "specialists" I saw previously were just quacks, in no way concerned for the health of their patient. Just getting the cash in. They were happy to condemn me to a life of invalidity, in 5 years time when they wanted to operate I would be 68 by which time no doubt the rest of my mobility would have gone along with my mental health.

So I wish to all you hags, hellhounds, witches, witches and trolls the good fortune that I have recently received. Today is my birthday and as my people have to be at work during the day I have you guys to keep me company ❤ Geminis rock ♊

Tattle on.

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mrsp67

VIP Member

Wednesday at 1:45 PM
At least 15 years ago, it may be more when the go fund me Craze started, I immediately went out and purchased life insurance on my two children. My husband thought it was morbid, but I did not want to be that person that had a hat out begging if my children needed a funeral now go fund me Patreon et are a way of life and I do not buy into it!!

Just recently someone we know passed away at a very young age I think 42 and his friends or family set up a GoFundMe for his funeral and a fundraiser at a local bar and I looked at it and I thought about it and I thought oh maybe I’ll donate something and then I see his wife on the book of face bragging about her arm tattoo and I thought to myself self if I had $500 to buy an arm tattoo, I would probably put that towards my husband‘s funeral instead of asking strangers to bury my husband. Maybe I’m old maybe I’m old fashion but if you can afford pleasures in life , vacation, alcohol, cigarettes , wallpaper you don’t really need me or anyone else to fund your lifestyle. I get it little children aren’t responsible for what their parents do in my town. All the schools have free breakfast and lunch and I see the parents of the children at the little market down from my restaurant buying cases of beer, lottery tickets and cigarettes and we still collect money for shoes for kidsbecause parents are so flipping irresponsible they don’t take care of their children so, Of course, I’ll donate to shoes for kids. My current charities I support if anyone wants a cute tshirt spreadspencerssparkle.com ok rant over.

Fanny wants a Pool complex gawd

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Lady Avonlea

VIP Member

Tuesday at 7:11 PM
Gosh, I'm honoured - thank you for the title. ❤ ComtesseRose special thanks to you for our new thread and keeping our little gang of 15 hags & hellhounds rolling along.

That CD vlog was especially odd & boring. It's raining heavily, not raining, raining heavily, not raining - let's have a BBQ on a very rainy day. More timey-wimey.

- does anyone recognize the ugly blue Mummy outfit Fanny is wearing? It looks like a 1980's Emaus bargain bin purchase)
- Grunt & his daughter have returned from their road trip from the south. Fanny made it look like Grunt was doing another BBQ, but I believe that dinner was from the BBQ the previous week! That giant salad FRK was making was served the previous week when Tante & Once were there. It was also a very sunny evening in the background, but it had been a very rainy day. Also, why didn't Fanny show everyone sitting down together for dinner - just her own plate of food at an empty table?
- Potty crawled back from Monaco to the shitoo, and into Fanny's bed, in middle of the night and he was more smug than ever
- 9 minutes of Potty and Fanny vomiting superlatives about the crayon-box chapel :sick: (I skipped forward when Fanny compared the chapel to Daddy's paintings)
- Jump Monkey Jump - Tattle comments that Snorty has no friends and voila Anna & Tim suddenly appear! Snorty is entertaining his 'friends' like he's a 1950's housewife. I felt major Mummy vibes when Fanny entered the winter salon to say hello. I thought the next words out of Fanny's mouth were going to be, ''I'll call your mother's and ask if you can both stay for dinner''.
- What does Snorty have in common to talk about with his 20-something friends?
  • would you like to see my collection of tablecloths?
  • let me show you my newest tureen?
  • there is this 70-year-old woman named Wendy who makes me the cutest felt animals and I hide them all around the shitoo
  • my porcelain are like my family, so I stay up all night scouring online auctions to collect all the family members
  • Fanny Mummy buys all my clothes

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Lady Avonlea

VIP Member

Thursday at 3:50 AM
PORSCHE ALERT!!!!!

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Fanny left the porsche at the Limoges Airport and says many people having been asking about the Porsche
- says that Andrew still owns it, but he has offered to sell it to her for €26,000, interest free, payable over payable over 1-2 years
- Fanny:
  • feels safe in the Porsche
  • can edit in the Porsche while Snorty drives without feeling sick
  • would prefer a convertible
  • says Mummy thinks she should buy, but will wait until Mummy & Percy drive in it
  • says Snorty doesn't mind either way - BS :sick:
  • asks patrons what the poor little princess should do
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JanePlain

Active member

Tuesday at 9:59 PM
Joyeux anniversaire @C’est moi
I hope you have had a wonderful day down south

Have been even quieter than usual on here as just out of hospital having had the bottom half of my colon removed 😣 (yes sadly a big C diagnosis a few weeks ago) But hopefully on the road to recovery now 🙏🏻

Didn’t have the energy or headspace to read about the despicable grifter for last couple of weeks …. have just read through the last thread & surprise surprise I see nothing at all has changed.
The obsessive spending on utter tasteless useless tat continues.
Fanny launches the idea of another big plan that will never happen & the egregious lies to grab peoples money as much as she can continues.
Karma is sure as hell taking its time …….

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And the Patreon vlog:

tuffiti

Active member

Thursday at 2:06 PM
This morning's Patreon vlog:

  • The scammer flies to London to welcome her mother and Percy;
  • The vapid shopaholic goes shopping;
  • The legend-in-her-own-mind embarrasses herself by acting like a 3 year old;
  • The con woman tries manipulating viewers re purchasing the Porsche;
  • The straight-for-pay fake fiance is not gay, noooooooo what makes us think that?

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#FreeLancelot

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As always thank you all for contributions.
Remember we have a wiki
Happy Tattling
 
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Fanny's make-up is hot garbage. Just the other night, I was watching a Mia Maples make-up tutorial (of the cosmetics she purchased in Japan, looking adorbs as always), and them- BOOM- Fanny's wretched face appeared looking a hot mess as the video just started playing. Fanny really looks awful, even with a full face of half-hazardly applied cosmetics. Has no gangsta granny sent her primer, let alone a Beauty Blender? Did she just nick a trowel and some fine paintbrushes from the chapel restorers to build up that black eye liner on the top lid? She looks terrible!
She's at the point where foundation gets to be problematic. After 50 I spent my money on the dermo who cuts off what he can, and 99 cent concealer and tinted moisturizer.
The criterion becomes one wishes not to frighten one's grandchildren.
Essential to this mission, clear eyebrow gel, every kind of blush (knock off Nars Orgasm, Wet n Wild peach/pink/pearl sticks, bronzer, and knock off Bobby Brown Miracle Balm).
My friend who would kill for body lotion/balm is a freak (also absolutely scrumptious skin) went to pimp school to learn how to sell the $150 an ounce stuff at an extremely swanky department store, told me there's almost literally no difference in cosmetics between the 99 cent stuff and the $150 stuff. Also that the 99 cent stuff is trendier, much more on to new formulations, textures, colors, application. Which is helpful as one's contours change -- I recently invested $4 in this vitamin-enriched, natural pink sheer gloss to discover the texture is super problematic for me. Good to know before I buy the $35 version.
 
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This new thread is a good time to make a request: If all tattlers could commit to limiting themselves to posting one photo of Philip Jansen each per day, it would certainly help my mental health. There's only some much I can stand of the sight of his lightbulb-shaped noggin.
 
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How many brocantes & antique shops will the brocunts, Fanny & Snorty, visit while in the Dordogne? More cache pots, tureens, fake vegetables and Fitz & Floyd animals.

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This new thread is a good time to make a request: If all tattlers could commit to limiting themselves to posting one photo of Philip Jansen each per day, it would certainly help my mental health. There's only some much I can stand of the sight of his lightbulb-shaped noggin.
And we are starting a new thread on a Sunday evening, how lovely to start another week of insanities with a new thread.
Thank you @ComtesseRose and Congrats for the VIP and the name @AndAnotherName

Guess this is my daily dose of ugly @Toys in the attic

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If you know anything about gardening, do not watch today’s vlog from the polystyrene palace. Ashtray proves yet again what an absolute dunce he is. Wow, so many plants. Brilliant roses, so many plants. So many plants. So many plants.

He seemed amazed the nursery owner knew anything about plants. It was obvious the Gay American cowboy with him thinks he’s an idiot, too.

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To all…my friends back in Canada, I know you knew.
This is my coming out pardee.

Thanks for the new thread ComtesseRose.
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If you know anything about gardening, do not watch today’s vlog from the polystyrene palace. Ashtray proves yet again what an absolute dunce he is. Wow, so many plants. Brilliant roses, so many plants. So many plants. So many plants.

He seemed amazed the nursery owner knew anything about plants. It was obvious the Gay American cowboy with him thinks he’s an idiot, too.

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Where is Teary? He does not seem to be squinting into the camera getting things sorted!
 

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The fox painting…it does look as if the dump replied.
Who do we know who says ‘ nice’…Mm, the clue is in the shoe
The 'Shakin Stevens' boots don't match the suit.

He could do a rendition of 'this old house' or 'behind the green door'.
 
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… help me, knock me out so something before my fantasy kicks in..
 
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