The advice thread for random problems #3

[CoffeeMamma]

I’ve got my driving test tomorrow. Except my driving instructor as gone into labour. We were meant to have lessons today and tomorrow. I’ve forgotten how to reverse park. I tried in my husbands car yesterday but completely fucked it. If I pass it’s going to be a total fluke.

Deep breath! You’ve had a brain fart that’s all maybe ask hubs or a trusted friend to take you out later?

 

[Good luck with that]

I'm in my late 20s. I've got no friends. I'm married, no kids. Where can I find online groups to join to find people to do things together? It is not easy to just go outside and meet others. Any advice?

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Has anyone used a home teeth whitening kit and would recommend something? I looked in the mirror today and was quite ashamed at how yellow my teeth are at the moment

I used the Crest 3D before my wedding! About £30-40 for a months supply

 

[square_spoon]

what sort of help can be offered, i called the council they were annoyed and said court can either suspend or go ahead with eviction. im worried sick, i have soial anxiety, all day ive been worried about going in tommorow
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what sort of help can be offered, i called the council they were annoyed and said court can either suspend or go ahead with eviction. im worried sick, i have soial anxiety, all day ive been worried about going in tommorow

They can offer you advice on what your rights are and what options (if any) you have in this situation.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Today at work a woman (same level of seniority) of me sent a teams message meant for someone on her team, to a group wide teams chat I’m in, making derogatory comments about me. I’ve not worked with her for over 9 months and they were irrelevant to what I was doing at the time.

I have to keep working with her, any suggestions how I move forward?

Does she know that you’ve seen the message? And that it was to a group chat?

as it was in a group chat you must feel very upset about it.

if she hasn’t apologised yet I would definitely suggest talking it through with your manager or a senior person that you trust on best way forward.

i think I would book a catch up with her and show her the screen shot, ask her to explain herself and tell her that you would like an apology. OR you can ask her manager to deal with it, but past a certain point of seniority I would expect colleagues to work things out between themselves.

if I were her I would be squirming so much. She’s made herself look like a massive twat.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Weird one: anyone here ever used neurogena t-gel and can recommend an alternative? It was good in my hair but it’s so expensive for a tiny bottle

If it’s for seborrhoeic dermatitis try and get a prescription of betacap from the doctors. One bottle lasts me a year and it’s much more effective than any of the shampoos.

 

[Pesky Tarian]

I have decided to paint my wall a darker shade of green (dark Ivy/forest green) . Can I paint over the current colour or do I paint wall white first ?
T.I.A. View attachment 2277206I

I've just done dark green over duck egg, covered well in one coat. Just a word of warning though I picked dulux forest green and it scuffs like a MF, somewhat chalky (already doing my head in). Lovely colour though!.

 

[littlepup]

Anyone an expert in tax stuff?
My other half got a demand from HMRC in the post yesterday, saying he's underpaid income tax for the FY 22/23 to the tune of 1k.
We absolutely cannot afford to pay it back in one lump sum like they're asking.
He switched jobs part-way through the financial year (September), and by the looks of it from the breakdown they sent, his new job started his tax free allowance from scratch and didn't tax him until he earnt past the allowance, but obviously he'd already earnt 11k earlier in the year so this shouldn't have happened.
He doesn't have payslips as he got them electronically and never saved them, and as he left that job in May this year, he no longer has access to the system to download them again to check what actually came out.

If they did put him on the wrong tax code, do we still have to pay? I know he should have been more observant but you kind of expect payroll to get this sort of thing right.
I'm just really worrying and don't know what to do

Call HMRC direct, get clarification of exactly what's happened. Then speak to CAB or advice lines if needed once you have all the info - but HMRC are used to this, they're very understand of honest mistakes and will clarify it all. As others say, you won't be expected to pay it in a lump sum.

 

[Thank(space)you]

The advice thread for random problems #4

Previous thread: https://tattle.life/threads/the-advice-thread-for-random-problems-3.39058/page-54#post-17132759

tattle.life

New thread

 

[Meg78]

Hoping someone can explain this to me like I am 5 lol!

June was a 5 week month but my pay is the same as May which was 4 week month. I am salaried but I don't understand how I can work a whole extra week for the same money?

Your pay will be x 52 weeks / 12 months so that it stays static each month

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Not really a "problem" but after some ideas. Apart from a meal out, cinema or going for a walk what is there to do for adults? I love all those three I mentioned but looking at doing something a bit different to break it up

Have a look on groupon and wowcher, too. We also have a national trust pass and map out our weekends around that as it’s just petrol money.

 

[littlepup]

Can anyone recommend some good pots and pans and knives please?

They’re expensive but nothing beats tefal non stick pans for mid range IMO.
TKmaxx are great for knives. I have a Jamie Oliver set I was gifted that are great, sabatier are also good. Get a knife sharpener from Amazon for about £10 too.
I had a cheap set from Argos and they were absolutely useless and binned after a year whereas my better ones I’ve had for probably 10-15 years so it’s very much a buy cheap, but twice item. Kitchen devils cheap ones are not worth it but the do some mid range ones that aren’t bad. I think you can get away with one small vegetable knife and one large chopping knife and perhaps a mid size knife too. Perhaps a serrated bread knife if you eat fresh bread.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I have this chronic issue everytime I work from the office.

I walk in and everything is fine for 3 hours. However, I suddenly feel sick after a few hours (burning eyes/teary eyes, sneezing, cough). I come home and feel like I’m coming down with something, but then I wake up the next morning and feel fine.

I don’t have this issue when I’m WFH, but it always happens at the office. By the time I get home, I’m sneezing and my are blood shot red.

I don’t know what it is. I suspected the AC but I’m not sure.

Definitely the AC. I grew up in a country where AC are in all shops and uni’s etc. I always got sore throats in the summer. Not only are they circulating the horrible office air (might even be dusty and full of germs) but the hot/cold/hot/cold can make you ill

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Thank you both so much @LaBlonde and @QueenBW - I really appreciate the kind words!

I did gently introduce the topic of a community activity or day centre - I totally agree that it might be a really good thing for her. Surprisingly she didn't appear particularly interested. She's also quite good on her computer (from the countless Facebook posts I see she's part of many local Facebook groups) so I think it's unwillingness on that side.

And indeed I'm awful at establishing boundaries sometimes - I've got that Britishness in me!! I'm nervous about giving her a dedicated day I'll visit just because I travel quite a bit for work, and honestly, I'm scared of her automatically presuming this visit will be weekly or more and complaining when it isn't. That definitely comes down to boundaries on my side and like you said, saying no. I will give it a try - thank you!!

 

[becca7721]

I did look when better able to manage (I can’t at all now) but there’s nothing here. I contacted hoarding uk but the nearest person is hours away; I’m too ill for their support service and my councils idea of ‘support’ is essentially using people to educate students in the issue - its even part of their ‘training programme’ yet no one here has actually done the training. I had a friend die a few ears ago when her hoard collapsed and suffocated her.

Social services blamed her at inquest for not letting them in, thankfully our coroner has more about him than most and saw she had been previously hospitalised and come home to an empty house and garden full of her belongings - literally they threw everything she/her landlord owned so all she had was what had been taken to hospital. They kept trying to do the same again, and again, it was students doing it ‘as part of their training’, but they couldn’t get her back into hospital as she wouldn’t leave.

Needless to say all his recommendations were ignored.

To be clear here I’m not dismissing student involvement or their need to learn but it’s really upsetting to be told you’re basically being used as a practical study.

Edit : to say thank-you for the kind reply! Sorry my manners are rather lacking at gone 3:30am!

 

[littlepup]

Not really sure what to do, took an expensive coat to Johnson’s, received a text that it’s ready to collect and when they got it out there was a note on the hanger to apologise as they’ve damaged it. I was expecting maybe a bit of bobbling but no they’ve completely destroyed the entire front! It’s not sold by the brand any longer and I’m pretty gutted, I really loved it. They told me that the manager is away, they took the coat back and said to come back next week to discuss, in the meantime I need to try and locate the receipt (there’s no way I still have it although it might be on a bank statement)

What do I do? I’m worried about leaving it there for a week and it gets lost altogether. I’m worried they won’t reimburse the full amount. I’m worried about it all and don’t know what to ask or say or do in the meantime! Has anyone else been through this? Do I contact head office or wait?

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/consumer/somethings-gone-wrong-with-a-purchase/dry-cleaner/

It says here they only have to pay the value as it would be now. Can you find any on eBay or Vinted? If it goes missing completely they would still be liable though assuming you have the receipt that you left it there.

 

[Babysnark]

This is going to sound like a 1st world problems but I’m getting quite stressed out about it, I can’t seem to engage in a conversation with a male human lately without them assuming my vagina is open for business and I don’t know why

Im not classically attractive, got my dads features and I’m overweight, been wearing baggy jeans and jumpers, no make up, really really not in any way siren or sexy, but I’ve had 5 workers in the past week alone try to get my number as I’m going about my normal day, men who work in petrol stations, shops, restaurants I’m at with my husband and even soft play have all given it a go! I’m friendly and answer questions but definitely not flirty, is the bar set so low now I can’t even make eye contact? This is a very recent problem, has something changed in the past few months and fat girls are now hot?

Maybe you've recently been giving off some kind of pheromone?

To be honest I don't think men find women that aren't skinny as off putting as we are made to believe by our societal conditioning (as another overweight person).

 

[littlepup]

Me again, random question, my dad has been watching all these YT videos about people getting Amazon return mystery boxes an wants to try it but I cannot see where they are getting them from, am assuming most of these YT vlogs are fake but does this actually exist? I can see a few mystery boxes but it's either toys or make up, I can't see anything about getting a "returns" mystery boxes themselves

My local charity shop has a load of Amazon returns. They’re all in crappy packaging so you have to look through. They’re not bad stuff but from what I see, but it’s lots of the same things. Maybe 40 galaxy 7 cases, a bunch of those hair removal shaving stones, the odd swim nappy or wet vest, travel pillows, exercise bands, random bits etc kinda pointless stuff. Useful no doubt, but not valuable unless you could be arsed to list it on eBay for a few pounds.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

I have an auditor coming in to assess my financial reports at work, it's a standard yearly audit but my first one (I got promoted a year ago and that's when I took over the reports) and I am absolutely bricking it I know box breathing and I have some rescue remedy and I know to visualise it going well, but any other calming tips would be great!

Our auditors give us time to fix things if they’re not right, so I’m sure yours will be the same. Don’t worry - you got this! Maybe tell them you’ve just taken over, too.

 

[Snippysnips]

If you selected them both at the same time when processing the return then yes they will go in the same parcel. A lotnof companies have started doing this now, presumably because it costs them less in postage.

And yes just show the post office the QR code. You should have the option to print the label if you are worried but the QR code works a dream. They weigh it and print the label stick it on and give you proof of postage/tracking back

Thanks so much, I'll just let them see the code an they can deal with it