The advice thread for random problems #3

[petitspois]

I would send her in, if you are 100% sure it's not a bug. Maybe mention to the teacher though, just in case the fact she was sick comes up in conversation

I’d send her in and tell her not to mention it!

 

[Snippysnips]

Can anyone who has a cat give me a rough idea of what they cost a month? My friend seems to think she can “upgrade” from a hamster at no extra cost

Haven't had a cat before but family have got cats, it will be more a cost with food in the long run really, I'd also look at insurance for the cat, a hamster won't exactly cost thousends but a cat may, even a rabbit can cost hundreds (I was around 500 for mine which thankfully his insurance covered) you'd also need to think about things like cat towers, scratching posts, litter trays an litter, beds, toys etc and if she wants anything protecting from claws like things to put on corners of furniture so it doesn't damage it when scratching, and also look into how much it is to spay or neuter them (insurance won't cover that if it's a choice) an then get a idea on cost of vaccines an flea treatment

But insurance is a must, you can either get a pet that could go years with absolutely nothing wrong or get one that you have health issues with, I'd also check with insurance on what sort of cover they do if it's both illness and injury or just one, also how long they cover them for (I think one insurance I forget the name only covers to the age of 7) an what costs are going to be like, as it goes up the older they get, an with cats check to see what their cover is like if it's going to be a outside cat, when I was picking insurance for the rabbit I phoned with a list of questions the vet gave me, one of the questions was about if the insurance would cover in the event the rabbit would need referred to a specialist, a question I'd never have thought off, so whatever vet you choose I'd ask them to help with advice on insurance, the vets will deal with insurance all the time an be perfect to tell you what you should ask them, the last thing you want is a insurance that doesn't cover something expensive that's been in the small print

 

[littlepup]

It was her wedding which was child-free but for various reasons I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my 3 month old for 12+ hours. Asked if I could bring her, she said having her there (this is my sister talking about her niece) would ruin their perfect day, she doesn’t want her anywhere near the ceremony, doesn’t want her on their table, and would rather I didn’t come than bring her. If she had given me a generic answer about it being child free etc then I legitimately would not be upset (or given me the actual reason which was she doesn’t want kids but her psychotic MIL was OBSESSED with asking about my little one and clearly pressuring her). I did not say a word back about how hurtful it was to say all those things, and she used my daughter’s name specifically when saying “baby muffin will ruin my perfect day”. Thing is if one of her friends had asked her she wouldn’t have told them their child would ruin her wedding (her friends don’t have kids so she doesn’t understand what’s off limits anyway). She just made it very personal and has previously made what I would call dodgy comments which I’ve let go in the past but that was the final straw (e.g. I’ll never babysit her, referring to her as “cupboard” for most of my pregnancy despite asking her to not).

My OH’s family don’t live here and don’t celebrate Christmas, but I like the idea of splitting the day and then continuing on Boxing Day.

Is there any chance at all that she actually has fertility issues and chooses to deal with them like this? It’s a really strange reaction to be so drastically anti-children that you’d ditch your own sister and have such a strong reaction.

 

[Snippysnips]

I don’t think it matters. We’ve had a trampoline 3 years and I never realised the springs had to be a certain way when building it

Thanks, am breaking my back trying build this thing an didn't want to build it an release I screwed up with the springs

 

[littlepup]

Weird one: anyone here ever used neurogena t-gel and can recommend an alternative? It was good in my hair but it’s so expensive for a tiny bottle

T-gel sometimes goes reduced on Amazon in the £2.50 bottle. Capascal also contains coal tar and is slightly cheaper but smells horrendous. It’s the one doctors do on prescription for seborrhoeic dermatitis.
This might be worth a try, definitiey pitched as a cheap t-gel. It makes (my long, fine) hair a bit tangly while washing, doesn’t foam much or feel nourishing but didn’t cause any irritation for me and I liked the smell. It’s cheap enough to try.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Thanks for the reply

sorry for lack of context my son is 7 (KS2) So yesterday usual pick up teacher lets the children file out onto the yard coats already on book bags in hand etc yesterday I was asked to go in as my son was out in the corridor with the TA searching for his coat.

The coat bays (pegs) for each class run along the wall directly next to the classrooms is best way I can describe the set up
(All the other children in his class by this point had gone off with their own coats directly to their mum's) I of course asked the teacher did he come in from lunch with it on she said yes definitely and it was hung up,
she was pretty matter of fact about it but we were properly searching around the corridors and other coat bays I was very much like 'it's ok these things happen' not wanting to make fuss (but secretly thinking you know he needs his coat)
ultimately I left with a slightly teary, coatless little boy and we walked home in the rain .

Im probably just being daft but I woke up this morning feeling really low I know a 45 quid coat is nothing to some people but it's not to us kinda thing ........

At this mornings drop off the teaching assistant (nice lady) letting them in and in a very breezy fashion says 'did it turn up' !!
Well it vanished on school grounds so its not going to be waiting at home for us
So basically they're looking.

If you have a class WhatsApp I would send a note out on that just to say has anyone picked it up by accident? If you have a photo of it that’s useful.

can I ask why you say it’s presumed stolen?

 

[Kizzie]

Can anyone offer any advice on bed bugs? I found one last night in my bed, crawling on my quilt...absolutely horrific. I'm already not having a great mental health week and this has pushed me over the edge, I'm extremely stressed and have cries several times today. Might sound silly but I just really, really don't want to deal with this right now, I don't have the mental capacity. I had a good look around my bed and mattress and haven't so far seen any others (or any traces), so I'm hoping it might be a one-off, but I know it's more likely than not that there's more hiding somewhere.

We've got a pest control company coming to inspect the flat tomorrow and then give us a quote. My landlord wasn't all that helpful but has agreed to contribute to the cost of treatment. Hopefully we can get a treatment booked in ASAP, I just want them gone and to sleep soundly knowing there's no fucking bugs crawling over me and eating me alive!

Diatomaceous earth powder for any bugs. it's very fine though so wear a mask and get the powder up as much as you can with a dustpan and brush before vacuuming as it can really clog your vacuum up.

I use it for flea prevention and cure on my animals. also once one of my cats bought in a pidgin and left it under my bed and I started to get badly bitten, it was bird mites biting me, but one go with diatomaceous earth powder and that was the end of that.

 

[Slaybutter]

@Sharkfan Don’t do it! It doesn’t sound legitimate at all.

 

[Sniffing Eggs]

How do you be a good friend to someone who is going through a breakup with a married man? (For context in the story she didn’t mention he was married until he dumped her). Anyway I knew my friend had been seeing someone for about 6-9 months, she met him through a sport she’s involved with that I’m not, so although I thought it was weird she never introduced us during that time I passed it off as us not moving in the same crowd. She was quite secretive about the whole thing but seemed happy so I was happy for her. Fast forward to now and he’s dumped her, saying he’s going to stay with his wife and kids (it turns out the 6-9 months coincided with his wife being pregnant and the breakup coincided with the birth of that child). My friend is inconsolable, thought he was the one etc. etc. and I’m trying to be supportive to her through the breakup but it’s really difficult. She has put this guy on a pedestal and is convinced he is the perfect man for her, speaks unkindly about his wife, and although I don’t bash him when we chat (that takes some restraint) if I even suggest that he’s made his choice and she needs to learn to love with it even though it hurts she starts lashing out at me. It’s tiring.

I understand she is heartbroken and believes everything this guy told her but it is so hard to listen to. I don’t want to abandon her in the middle of this but honestly it’s tough to support her. Not because he’s a married guy but because she is so in denial about the realities of their relationship and says horrible things about his wife….and then lashes out at me about how I don’t understand their connection and a love like theirs. She’s right, I don’t understand being the side piece while some fella’s wife is pregnant, and having him decide he’s not feeling us anymore when his wife has the baby. Any advice on what to do?

Gosh. Poor wife and you.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

You are all superstars thank you!

and thank you for the lack of judgement lmao. I am shamed

Don't be embarrassed, you're not alone! I took my children away for the weekend recently and I could not for the life of me work out how to use the oven in the caravan. There were no instructions anywhere! I flapped and had a mini meltdown because I was worried I'd blow the caravan up if I did it wrong.

I worked it out eventually (40 minutes later ) but there was definitely a moment when I was thinking "I am a fully functioning person, why can't I work this out" as I was desperately scouring the Internet for oven manuals .

 

[Snippysnips]

Anyone an expert in tax stuff?
My other half got a demand from HMRC in the post yesterday, saying he's underpaid income tax for the FY 22/23 to the tune of 1k.
We absolutely cannot afford to pay it back in one lump sum like they're asking.
He switched jobs part-way through the financial year (September), and by the looks of it from the breakdown they sent, his new job started his tax free allowance from scratch and didn't tax him until he earnt past the allowance, but obviously he'd already earnt 11k earlier in the year so this shouldn't have happened.
He doesn't have payslips as he got them electronically and never saved them, and as he left that job in May this year, he no longer has access to the system to download them again to check what actually came out.

If they did put him on the wrong tax code, do we still have to pay? I know he should have been more observant but you kind of expect payroll to get this sort of thing right.
I'm just really worrying and don't know what to do

This happened to my brother when changed jobs, he was on the wrong tax code an was underpaying his tax, he phoned them an they agreed he could do monthly payments an it's been fine

 

[Elle Woods]

We’ve changed the bedding together today which is unusual as we normally do it solo whilst the other fights for their life with the toddler. It’s caused a bit of a tiff, so I’m putting it to the internet to decide who is right:

On your duvet there are usually seams running across the length to break it into quarters; should they be horizontal or vertical on the bed?

Mine is superking and the lines go horizontal. First time I changed the duvet on this bed I thought they'd go vertical but it was all askew so had to re-do it so the lines were horizontal

 

[stardust1]

Could really do with a thread for homeware, like decent finds and bargains, where to go for good quality etc, for example my DFS sofa is 14 years old and we love it but it’s time to change and now I hear only horror stories about the brand, but have got no idea where to go for a decent quality and comfortable sofa these days!

Your tips on how to keep your home glamorous #2

Great tips in the first thread. Please carry on here. First thread: https://tattle.life/threads/your-tips-on-how-to-keep-your-home-glamorous.32465/

tattle.life

Linked the thread! X also for what its worth i have always had DFS sofas including recently and so have family they have all been fine x

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Just removed a bloody tick. Anyone had one before and were you ok?

I’ve had a couple and no sign of impending doom yet!

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Not so much a problem but like a king for advice S IV recently lost weight and need some new clothes.im taking the opportunity to buy quality items that will last for once!

Jumpers - any recommendations for soft jumpers? Possibly cashmere or merino wool?

Trousers - comfy stylish trousers that are not jeans?

Coat - something warm and waterproof that won't make me look frumpy

PJ's - a top and trouser bottom set that is really soft and comfy

Robe - ideally a towelling one that feels like one you get at the spa?

Trainers - what trainers is everyone wearing these days? Ideally would want something that goes with most jeans/leggings etc

I actually really rate M&S for a lot of the above. Trainers I shop at Hotter, they’re brilliant quality and last forever (5 years is the record)
Coats- Cotton Traders have lovely ones with lots of pull cords so you can shape them
---
Also I’m 33!

 

[Piff paff puff]

Yes, a tick on my lower leg about 4 years ago. I was horrified. Got the whole thing off with tweezers, wiped the area with antibacterial wipes and kept an eye on the leg for weeks for red marks or swelling. Nothing happened. I was absolutely fine. Plenty of tick bites don't lead to Lyme disease. Fingers crossed you'll be fine.

Glad to hear you've be fine
That's quite reassuring. Good thing is we'll be more aware now.

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

I will say though that I love the range of Nespresso pods. Something for all tastes - and even the decaff ones are good. I spend far too much money on coffee but it's still way cheaper than takeaway ones.

 

[MissTeddy]

I’m sorry to hear of your loss @Carapop take care and remember grief is as unique. Steps aren’t always linear.

This is such kind and clever way to explain grief- I am going to remember it. I wish someone had told me this when my Dad had died - i was very young and I thought I had to keep moving forward.

 

[littlepup]

Not really a problem but after some advice if anybody is a coffee aficionado. Btw don't judge! I've realised I spend around £700 a year!! on takeaway coffee. So am looking to buy barista style coffee machine.
Does anybody know of a shop that sells and demonstrates these machines? I'm willing to travel as I realise in the end I'll be quids in
Also is there a coffee specialist, again actual shop, where they can help you find the coffee you like.

Second hand, returns I guess, but a big saving.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

I’ve only been in a few days myself but what helped me was taking my own blanket and pillow from home so I had that comfort. hope you’re okay and your stay is as comfortable as possible for you cx

It largely depends on the type of ward- for example I stayed on a psych ward and we could have cuddlies, blankets and flowers- anything really from home. An acquaintance was in for a week post surgery and we weren’t even permitted to take flowers on to the ward!