I have been given consent to share this.
My friend called me today to ask if she could bring some dirty laundry round to wash in my washer. She is 55 yrs young, works full time nights, she is a end of life carer.
She is in non contact abusive relationship, she shares a home and a mortgage with this man, but her name is not on any of the documents, she has a adult son and several pets, as a carer she does not earn the money carers should earn, so she is stuck. The council told her they maybe could help when her son was under 18 but she would have to move out of the area, this is not possible for her, her job, family and horses are all local.
So what can she do, she has to put up and shut up, for now.
She is trying to save as much as she can so she can afford to rent privately, but with all areas housing is in high demand, by private or renting.
So she could buy a new washer but she is hesitant in investing as she really does not know if her Dick head ex is going to play ball when she moves out.
I have boxes of her belongings stored in my home ready for when she leaves, but when can she leave, she has worked her ass off all her life, raised 4 good children/adults but she is stuck.
She is a very attractive 55 yr old so she could go out and find another man, but that is the last thing on her mind, she just wants to be free.
Domestic abuse comes in so many very different forms.
I am pissed off that R has alluded to what I took as sexual abuse this evening.
I really hope she is not now going to try and get on that band wagon, because for me that would be another step to far.
We have seen with our own eyes what she has shared and written about, she contradicts herself and forgets time lines and what she has said.
I don't think she has ever really been on her own, I don't believe she has really struggled.
I cant speak for anyone else so this is just me.
After growing up in a actual traumatic childhood and a council estate, there was a time when I was married and we had our own house and business, we were comfortable, but I still shopped thriftly for all of us, never prepared to pay £300 for a coat I could get for £30 etc.
Each to their own, none of my business what people spend their money on, but when you are doing what R is doing it just has to be a different story. We all don't need to see price tags.
I expect she will read this and think I am a troll and jealous of her, I am neither, Just someone who has experienced the things she claims to have experienced.
R this is just for you, either forgive your mum and stop throwing her under the bus just for content. Or just stop referring to her, she is a elderly lady that is dying, show some fucking respect.