New baby and post birth advice #3

[WhatABore]

Just to double add for anyone that isn't aware not to put baby in car seats with coats/snowsuits ect on.

I think it's widely known now but just incase

 

[Kitt]

Fingers crossed you get answers soon!!

My daughters clothes today.
Walk into my partners Mums house. She looks her up and down and goes.. "When are you going to start dressing her like a girl?"



She also hates the fact that my 3 year old daughter loves dinosaurs.
Hides any dinosaur toys she takes round and replaces them with dolls.
She has dolls love but she chooses to play with dinosaurs.

Yes because giraffes and whales are only for boys. Oh this infuriates me completely. Firstly, that outfit is completely gorgeous and I’d like to know where it’s from. Secondly, the gender stuff we force on babies is so sad. In the library the amount of times I hear people (often it’s grans with little ones) saying ‘no don’t get that book it’s for boys’ cause there’s a monster or dinosaur on the cover. It’s awful to listen to cause it just crushes any joy the kids get from picking their own books at the library but also teaches them what they’re supposed to like and not like. Grinds my gears!

 

[Hairraiser]

Thank you for all your lovely messages.
think I’m gonna book to see a doctor tomorrow & see about the next steps. I had a emergency C-section so I have a horrible feeling they might say it won’t be safe to continue with the pregnancy
We will see, I’m just still in shock tbh. Nausea has kicked in too, so looks like il be spending my days with my head in a bucket again!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

No purpose of this but to rant
Last night Everleigh was awake 12-3am then 5-6.30am then my 3 year old got up at 7am.
I jokingly said to my partner this morning (who didn't move off the sofa until 10.40am as we were still upstairs and he sleeps down there. ) I said.. Ahh after that night, I need a nap.
He went.. "a nap? You're not the only one, I was hot"
Tonight I went to bed at 10. Eventually managed to fall asleep around 11.30 andddd Everleigh wakes up 20 minutes later
But guess who's downstairs playing Fifa and will again be complaining he's not slept?

He'd be getting a nappy in his face if he lived here

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Ted Baker have 30% off babies clothes with the code treatyourself if anyone is interested!

 

[Hbirdette]

Oh god we’re at the “look mum! I can roll over” stage followed swiftly by the “HELP MUM! I’M STUCK!” stage just had to go roll him back over twice

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Had our 6 week check today, can't believe how much little lady weighs now chunky monkey haha! We've been referred to the peadatrician for her belly issues and her head tilts to one side when shes resting so that could be related to the shoulder dystocia at birth

 

[littlepup]

It’s our first big event Saturday without baby. I’m a stone+ heavier, body shape has changed, I’ve got bloody dermatitis on my hairline - let’s say I don’t feel great … I feel 100x more elegant & presentable when my nails are done so since last Sat I’ve asked OH for a solid hour where I won’t need to touch her to do them. It hasn’t happened so I decided at 1am this morning when everyone was in bed to do them. Of course she woke half way through. OH, who this week has had 3hrs football, a hair cut & 6 more hrs football tomorrow, laid next to her, didn’t stir. I now have gel nails full of fluff and bits.
Obviously it’s not about the nails. It makes me feel so deflated. He’s usually such a supportive, present person and me non demanding. I know he need chill time too but it’s so unbalanced. We’ve talked about it many times but here we are.
Does it get easier as they get older in terms of shared responsibility parenting? Admittedly BF she is more reliant on me.

 

[Babyyoda88]

Thanks for the advice everyone

I’ll try all those things (although already raised one side of the crib).

She eventually does release out some top trumps just not usually during the night, can’t get them out.

 

[Kitt]

So I thought having visitors would be nice but I actually hate it haha. My parents came round this afternoon and my dad overstimulated the baby and didn’t let him sleep for an hour and a half and just basically shouted at him the whole time ‘say grandad’ and all this shit and in the end Finn just cried and couldn’t be soothed cause he was over tired. He’s never been like that. My dad obviously wasn’t interested once he was crying. My dad kept saying how babies are more fun from 18 months old and how he wants to be the first to take him swimming and to the seaside etc. So treats him like he’s older whereas he’s two weeks old and just needs to sleep. But apparently that’s ‘boring’. I actually wanna say ok come back when he’s 18 months old and no, we’ll be the first to do all this stuff with him. He’s our son. Me and husband are now physically and emotionally exhausted and we feel frustrated that we love our own little bubble and visits mess it up. Felt like we haven’t had any time to ourselves just us three today. My mom is absolutely lovely with him and actually listens to what I tell her to do with him, it’s amazing. I think they expect to come over every weekend but it’s actually exhausting to deal with. Haven’t had a nap today and tonight is gonna be so hard. I felt so positive this morning after the pep talk from you guys and I was doing so well with following Finn’s cues but now I just feel fed up again. Sorry, rant over.

 

[Kitt]

Hi ladies, I feel like a bit of a fraud joining I should still be pregnant and still don't feel like I'm the twins mum whilst I'm in NICU. But for any one who has had nicu babies does the guilt of leaving them and not being the one caring for them all the time ever leave you? I'm not sleeping because I just feel so immensely guilty I'm not with them and it's giving me the most awful headaches that when i do go to NICU I'm struggling with the noises

hi I’ve been thinking of you. No advice based on experience and I can’t imagine how hard it is but I can only say the thing that you have to remember to hopefully ease your guilt (which must be awful for you) is knowing that they’re in the right place getting looked after. It’s a necessary thing and it’ll end and they’ll get to come home nice and healthy with you soon. They won’t remember any of this one day, all they’ll know is that you’re their mummy and that you love them so much. Sending all the love xxx

 

[Definitelyme]

How do you all get your babies to nap (even on you)? My LO will sometimes sleep when we’re out in her sling (she loves looking around eyeballing people waiting for them to give her attention ) and occasionally the car seat. At home though the only way I can get her to sleep is to feed her. Sometimes she drifts off on her playmat but if I creep out she cries and if I stay and she sees me she gets so excited she wakes up for more playtime (super cute though). Is feeding her to sleep bad or should I be working on getting her to fall asleep in other ways?

feeding to sleep is NOT bad, it will NEVER be bad Helping your baby drift off to sleep peacefully and happily is a wonderful thing. I have fed all my kids to sleep (for naps and bedtime) until they are 2 years old. We now have an 8yo and a 5yo who sleep perfectly well, and an almost 3yo who still likes a cuddle to go to sleep. Please don’t listen to anyone who says it’s “making a rod for your own back” or that they’ll never sleep on their own. It’s nonsense! Nobody goes off to uni still needing a wee boob before bed

That said if you WANT to have other methods to get her to sleep, go on ahead! Rocking in the sling is a good one here, my baby quite likes that if he doesn’t want to feed. But don’t feel like you have to if feeding works for you.

 

[WhatABore]

Midwife told me at the start that they likely will settle for your partner better because they can't smell your milk!

Tesco clothes are actually so cute I'm obsessed with bunnies and they had loads in and it washes great. But how adorable is this

Ahh that's adorable. I'm a sucker for any wool/knitted things

I got these from Vinted the other day because I love wooly stuff

 

[Hairraiser]

I'm just catching up on here! @Disneylifeonly huge congratulations on your engagement @Hairraiser congratulations! How are you feeling today?

On the subject of resentment etc, i totally feel this. My partners been off for a couple of days and today I think he FINALLY realised what it's like being home with the 2 kids. He always used to make comments about me being on maternity, id see what its like when I'm back at work, how he'd rather stay at home with the kids and me go back to work etc etc.
Were currently getting work done in our house so I was sorting through stuff, skip runs etc. I picked up dinner after going to the skip and came in and he absolutely lost it saying how difficult the kids have been today and how he's had them himself etc (I've been at home minus going shopping/skip runs and to pick up dinner). He's saying I need to help more with the kids as he can't handle the 2 kids together.
I'm going to be really selfish here when I say this but finally I'm glad he sees its not all rainbows and butterflies like he imagined it would be, he never spends time with the kids tbh. He'd rather sit on his phone or choose to feed baby over play with my toddler etc. I've told him how difficult it is but was always met with the replies above on me returning to work, on top of having PND and feeling quite unsupported at times this is just the icing on the cake.

Hi, thank you for asking. Feeling pretty crap. Nausea & dizziness, now I’m getting cramping down my left side & shoulder pain so I’ve bought myself to A&E I’ve been sitting here since 3 o’clock and there’s still no sign of being seen.
I’m still so so unsure what to do next I feel like I could have a breakdown right this minute

 

[Hairraiser]

Am I right in remembering you had almost 0% chance of falling but you really wanted another? Or was that someone else? Should we say congratulations? It’ll be hard but lots of people do make it work. It’s like twins, really hard but somehow you just get on with it. I can see a lot of positives in having two so close in age too. How do you feel about it?

Yes that’s me.

not really sure what to feel right now. I’m in utter shock!
I just hope their is someone on here that has babies that close in age.
I haven’t felt right for the last few days, but put it down to a dodgy kebab!
thought I’d do a quick test to rule it out, I never even thought it would be positive!

I just don’t really know where to go from here

 

[Kitt]

Back from the hospital, saw an out of hours GP. She agreed it is very messy but she thinks it might be just the slough coming from it and it’s messier than usual because it’s so early and not had a chance to dry. She’s not keen to give him antibiotics cause he’s only 3 days old and he’s doing ok in himself. We’ve gotta give it a little clean today and see how we go and call back tomorrow if it gets any worse. It’s literally hanging on by a string and then there’s just a pool of yellow where his belly button should be. Rank. I’m glad he’s okay though and am feeling reassured from seeing someone.

 

[LilyRose1234]

Does anyone have any recommendation for comfy baby leggings? I bought some but the waistbands don’t seem very comfortable for her - trying to upgrade from sleepsuits to leggings and bodysuits for when we leave the house. Got hundreds of cute little dungarees dresses and she gets so uncomfortable in them I end up taking them off, so back to basics we go! (And why on earth does anyone put buttons on the back of baby clothes?!)

Also, she was just feeding and I was watching tv and I noticed she’d come off the boob, looked down and she was just staring at me with the happiest smile on her face, melts my heart

 

[Definitelyme]

@Kitt @Ilando @littlepup @LilyRose1234
The fact all 4 of you are having the same worries goes to show just how normal it is
With my eldest I found that she fell in to her own nap routine, and by watching her I was able to figure it out, but she would have been maybe 6 months before that happened. So I noticed she would be getting tired at 9am every day, so that became a nap time. She’d sleep for half an hour, then at 12 she would be tired again… so that became another nap time.
But not every baby will be that regimented, like @WhatABore says they are all different and work their own way. Some work more like my current baby who is up for approx 1.5-2hrs, then he needs a sleep, rather than specific times of day.
Just keep watching for sleepy cues, and as soon as you see them settle them for a nap. They’ll let you know if they aren’t ready to sleep.
@Kitt if Finn is contented being awake for 3hrs, roll with it! And it is absolutely 100% normal for him to only want to sleep on you. You are all he has ever known, you are his safe spot, and his favourite comfort blanket

Above all ladies, try not to wreck yourselves worrying. It really is one of those things that you can destroy yourself over, the worry over sleep can be immense. But it all works out, they will let you know what they need if you listen out. And then just when you have it all sorted, the tiny buggars change it all up again

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Well we went to the osteopath this afternoon.... not sure what to think! He did say it wouldn't look like he was doing much and well, he was right Pretty sure I just paid £55 for him to give LO what looked like a cuddle He said she has loads of tension in her neck from the forceps delivery so that's what he'll work on and that should fix the issues with feeding etc. Baby seems a lot more chilled tonight so fingers crossed it will make a difference!

 

[Babyyoda88]

@Babyyoda88
Someone on this thread posted this one, I've not bought it yet though so can't comment on how well it works



Do you leave it on overnight?

Oh great thank you!

@Babyyoda88 so glad your girl is home safely! Hopefully after a night or two of adjustment she will be a bit more settled. I suppose NICU is quite loud, and she may not be used to the quiet? You can get heat pads for the crib, someone has mentioned them before but I don’t know what they are called - maybe ask on the pregnancy thread too?

Thank you
I might play some machine beeping tonight and see if she drifts off . I feel bad, night one and I’m already complaining about my little nocturnal cluster feeder haha.