Mrs Hinch #418 Little Old Soph wants a farm E—I—E—I—Uh oh...

[Bunnykins]

Mrs Hinch #418 - Little Old Soph wants a farm E—I—E—I—Uh oh...

Winning thread title by Me! I’m fank yoo...
(Winning thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guysshhh )

Wednesday started off with a make up tutorial from Soph who’s back posting on her account now that she’s forgotten she’s supposed to be on maternity leave and struggling to cope with baby Lennie. A human Barbie doll appeared on screen claiming to be Mrs Hinch and giving us the details on how we can achieve her look. She didn’t tell us the name of her surgeon, beautician or what photoshop software she uses though so I’m not sure some stick on eyebrows off eBay (that she removes at night with cellotape!) will help give her fans the glow up that they’re after.

The third anniversary extravaganza continued with Sophie and her childminder heading out for some fun on the farm.
Jamie had booked little Soph in for a kid’s ‘walk with a teddy sheep’ activity. Seriously.
CBeebies Land was full and he couldn’t get into Peppa Pig World for love nor money so what’s a guy supposed to do? And we all know Soph loves sheep. She’s built her entire fortune thanks to them!

Soph was happy as a pig in shit down on the ‘tend farm which is actually just there for little kids to stroke the cute sheep and take them for a walk. She’s found complete happiness with them apparently. That’ll be nice for her kids to know. She certainly seemed happier than when she was swearing at her beloved husband for teasing her over what her surprise for the day was.
Jamie Brent thought it was highly amusing to trick Princess Tippy Toes Of Maldonia into thinking a helicopter was on its way to collect her. It wasn’t. He then managed to get her to sit in a staff vehicle which wasn’t her surprise either, by the time he fooled her in to thinking he’d bought her another egg chair for her garden of seats, she was feeeeuming, but all was forgiven when she got the chance to skip through the fields with a sheep accompanied by a power ballad and sweet innocent little Sophie was back because, as she told us, she’s just a farm girl at heart.
(Note to Soph you might want to swap the designer LV trainers for a pair of wellies if you want people to believe that one hunnay.)

And because a night in an expensive hotel suite, a trip to walk a sheep, and various gifts are not enough Jamie also arranged for his brattish bride to stay the night in an even more expensive tree house for the night and for her to be welcomed by candle light and flowers. We’re still waiting to see exactly what she’s given Jamie though as so far the celebration of THEIR wedding seems to be all about her, though he did put on over 7000 new followers yesterday so a bot package seems a good bet.
It also all tots up to quite a bit too, it’s running in to at least a couple of grand. Let’s hope Soph’s other favourite sheep are ready to swipe up and buy more of her trashy teshco tat to keep little old Soph in the style to which she has become accustomed.

Before the end of her stay Soph left us with some words of wisdom...
“Collect moments ... not things...” says the woman who’s house is packed to the rafters, sorry to the memory corner, with crap and flammable chemicals.
One suspects the irony of that statement coming from her has been complete lost her.

And then just when they where supposedly enjoying their anniversary evening together Jamie went and revealed the whole game plan by replying to one of the sheep whisperers followers who was keen for Little Old Soph to pack in the cleaning - think she has already - and up sticks for the inevitable move from Castle Greyskull to Hinch Farm...
“See Soph I told ya!” And Tattle told the lot of you, Castle Greyskull will soon be a distant memory...

Today’s game is to guess which face and which personality Soph will appear with next.

Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.

 

[Therealist]

Please tell me someone else sees through this whole farm thing. I can’t take it

She’s pulling you all in. EVERYTHING you have been watching this month has been planned. So when you say oh the mask slipped on inches stories etc. It hasn’t! They want you to see all of it. This is the start of the rebrand & has been orchestrated.

They’re not buying a farm, they’re just upgrading to something like Stacey’s.
when they present something slightly smaller it will make it easier to keep the sheep on side & soften the blow because she deserves it ()
The only thing farm about it will be a sign!

This is why I never feel sorry for her. The poor little Sophie act is just all part of the brainwashing. It’s actually really sick because I see the concern from both hinchers and tattlers for her, meanwhile she’s just playing everyone

Only thing I believe she’s struggling with is having to be second fiddle to her kids. She’s too selfish to be a mum & she yearns for a life before children

 

[Andioooop]

@Andioooop where are ya HUNNNAY

The photoshop queen - one of my personal favourites was jimbobnojobcleanyabumbuminnit on a wrecking ball

 

[Fluffy20]

Hot chocolate and a real log fire? Have I missed something? It’s fucking August in Hampshire not December in the Arctic. It was only 2 days ago that she was tend sunbathing and making out like she was in the Costa Del Sol. Is Chewton Glen that posh it’s got it’s own external climate control?

 

[AC55]

If she's at her happiest when she's not with her children, or even the dog, then I think she really is in need of proper help and support. I really have no idea if she's ill or not - some tattlers are recognising the signs of post natal depression, I see circus acts - but what I do know is she had a ball prancing around in Victoria's Secret with Stacey Solomon, posing for photographs with people, and now she's had this very expensive anniversary trip in a posh hotel with Jimbobcleanyourbumbuminnit falling over himself to keep her happy, and sometimes missing the mark. She absolutely loved being with the sheep and in the tree house, away from her children. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying parents don't need a break from their children, because they do, but it seems to me that her children don't make her happy. I can't help thinking she yearns for her life before children, the life where she had no other responsibilities other than to enjoy her life, with Jamie, with her family and her "kids" Ronnie and Lennie have scuppered all of that now and it seems to me she resents them, especially Ronnie.

 

[Fluffy20]

She's such a confusing individual, it's like she doesn't even know herself what she wants to portray. There's Soph the wannabe farm girl who loves animals but who never walks her dog or does any form of enrichment activities with him and can't look after a few fish. There's Soph who wants to be an Essex make up influencer, has her hair extensions, her botox, fillers, fake nails etc, (none of which I have ever seen on any woman who lives on a farm). Then there's Soph the cleaning influencer flogging her Zoflora and Minkies and living in her pristine, non child friendly grey palace. Soph the Mummy influencer with her two absolutely perfect children who always behave adorably and never get messy and never have a hair out of place and just love each other and the dog like the best brothers that they are. And then there's Sopha the slob, permanently attached to her manky sofa, watching Love Island and Eastenders, drinking Ribena and eating Mugshots or spaghetti hoops in a jug, in her tracksuit and sports direct socks, who never dresses up, never wears heels and doesn't want to leave the house because she is too anxious. It's like watching someone with some sort of multiple personality disorder!

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

"Oh my goshhhhh guyyysss, I used too much strong sellotape and I've ripped off both my brows and eyelashes. What shall I do guyyysss, cut this out and stick them back on with superglue?"

 

[GroundedAngel]

Why can’t she be like a tree, and leaf?

 

[Islandhoppin]

Lennie is the second child they give no shits if they think Ron is “naughty” you just wait I’m actually glad they have each other and think Lennie will really look out for Ronnie when they are older they won’t take the shit and will probably be moving out as soon as they can and forget to visit mummazzzz with her cleaning cupboard phone permanently in hand and her own face and books in the bloody coffee table

The year is 2045. Ronnie brings his partner home to meet his parents. Well parent. Jamie short for James has long since been given to tosser people.

They walk into a grey room, filled with artificial light even though it’s midday, the only room still being lived in while the rest of the property has fallen into disarray once the freebies dried up. The glass topped table still houses her crappy books, covered in decades worth of dust, and there are unopened ebayers everywhere. On the threadbare sofa is Henry the first, preserved laying on his back, crusty knob up.

They are greeted by Mummaz rocking in the dog’s bed, still with her ratty extensions, overfilled lips and drawn on brows,wearing her washed out VS Pink tracksuit. She is sniffing Freda’s hankie and screaming “which Essex celebrity is having a mugshot for dinner?!!”

Ronnie turns to his significant other and says “now do you understand why I had nothing to say to this bitch?”

 

[AC55]

Well that is my letter of recommendation written to HRH Queen Elizabeth. I think it's only right that Jamie Hinchliffe is nominated for an OBE in the next Honours list. His outstanding contribution to the hospitality industry needs national recognition not least because of his admission that he has paid for this entire trip himself. I've alerted the Queen to the fact of course, that not only is this gesture one of magnanimous generosity, he made the gesture entirely out of his wife's money! Money I have also informed HRH, his wife has amassed from lying, conniving and deceiving people. Perhaps they'll be invited to Buckingham Palace for an awards ceremony? Sopha can dress up in one of her Victoria's Secret track suits and tattoo her eyebrows on, and Jamie short for James can wear his wedding waistcoat again. He can tend the throne is for his little princess and as she goes to sit down on it, he can guffaw and say "no it's not for you babe"
Do fuck off Jamie, you weapons grade knob head!

 

[Justanorthernlass]

She picked it off Pinterest! What a knobber!

 

[Andioooop]

 

[Andioooop]

@AndIOooopp ,please put a spy in the trees View attachment 720020

 

[DoodlePoodle]

So many thoughts about this entire trip so brain dump…

They’ve been staying at the most amazing hotel, videoing just about everything, but where are the meals? I live for meals out! Even room service! Where’s the bloody food?! Surely Inch didn’t just eat smoothies, crisps and mug shots? Sorry…POSH crisps (get in the bin with your bloody posh crisps!)

Inchworm “supporting” the struggling hospitality industry…by spending his wife’s money?

Calling a bingo on the return home montage of cuddling the children and banging on about how nothing is better than being at home with her boyzzz when yesterday she clearly stated that “complete happiness” is only possible when you’re walking a sheep on a lead

This entire trip just shows how totally fucked up they both are. I despair for those kiddles

 

[Dyso⁹5]

I cannot be the only grown women chuckling at her having a hot chocolate first thing in the morning have a brew love sort your immature taste buds out

 

[Olivemaks]

If she's at her happiest when she's not with her children, or even the dog, then I think she really is in need of proper help and support. I really have no idea if she's ill or not - some tattlers are recognising the signs of post natal depression, I see circus acts - but what I do know is she had a ball prancing around in Victoria's Secret with Stacey Solomon, posing for photographs with people, and now she's had this very expensive anniversary trip in a posh hotel with Jimbobcleanyourbumbuminnit falling over himself to keep her happy, and sometimes missing the mark. She absolutely loved being with the sheep and in the tree house, away from her children. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying parents don't need a break from their children, because they do, but it seems to me that her children don't make her happy. I can't help thinking she yearns for her life before children, the life where she had no other responsibilities other than to enjoy her life, with Jamie, with her family and her "kids" Ronnie and Lennie have scuppered all of that now and it seems to me she resents them, especially Ronnie.

I had a think about this yesterday.. I don’t think she wants kids. She loves them but doesn’t want the responsibility..The idea of kids is what she loved initially. Stroking the babies. Putting them to bed. Angel fairy perfect babies hence why she kept Ronnie in a front facing Pram up until four months ago. Now she’s got two she doesn’t know what to do. She 100%wants her old life back.. she can’t be arsed with kids. Soon she will have a two kids to wake up, dress, make packed lunches for, prepare uniforms for daily and drop them off for the school run. This is not Sophie at all. Monday to Friday school run and pick ups and making actual dinners everyday. She can’t quite believe it. Lazy lazy useless woman

 

[ShadyBadger]

Jamie put the farm life hashtag Have a look at the hashtag at actual farm life then you see these dickheads with sheep on a lead

 

[Be kond]

At this point- I think it’s all Jamie. I think hinch would step back from Instagram, she’s clearly not got any interest in coming back soon. He is pushing the Mr Hunch account. He’s basically picked up where she left off, hoping his wannabe lad “banter” would see them through. All the “see soph I told you” balls, seems to me he’s enjoying being a lazy lardarse, enjoying whatever inch (lol) of fame he thinks he has. Fully believe it’s him. Applying for towie, the chase, fash fc. He saw pretty little dolly bird soph and thought there’s my ticket, creating multiple accounts waiting for one to take off. He’s fame hungry. Fully wants the fame and to be a real well known celeb

 

[Henny Penny]

ridiculous

 

[MissPrint]

Her facial expression at the end - it was fucking hateful, wasn’t it?