Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Vlog - Monday 3rd August (Hold up it's not an actual vlog. It's a sit down video on luxury handbags. I love bags. I want to like it. Edit, future Elle after watching the video - do you ever have one of those days when you're holding a metaphorical stick and everyone looks like a piñata? Lydia soon becomes the piñata. You'll get the feels if you watch or read on, or both, if you like to live life on the edge).
- It's an advice video - 5 things to do before purchasing a luxury item - see, like, want, beg, repeat. My advice is to file her opinions between 'fuck this' and 'fuck that'. They really are as useful as a flat vibrator.
- She highlights you can't take a bag with you so use it whilst you are on earth. Ever listen to someone that stupid they make you squint? You. Never. Go. Anywhere. Lydia!
- She emphasises if she shows us her mistakes it means we don't have to waste our money. This is your rationale for basically being an online exorcist??? I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per minute now.
- Firstly, she checks what disposable money she has. She doesn't get into debt. She used to buy things second-hand. She acknowledges touch wood she has never been in a situation where she has not been able to afford to pay rent or mortgage. Forgot about that time you was homeless, Lydia? Be careful you don't choke on that bullshit you talk.
- Secondly, she looks at what she already has in her collection. Then corrects herself that she has two limited edition Dior bags. But you knowshe the shelf wears them differently so she doesn't feel like she's doubling up. Obviously.
- She puts pictures on screen of said bags instead of showing us the actual bags from her actual closet. I know you love your horizontal life pauses Lydia, but are you always so lazy or is today a special occasion? This is a rhetorical question BTW. I know the answer. I'm sarcastic not stupid.
- She's going to streamline all her black bags. She already has a black Fendi but won't buy a black Dior. Then shows us a picture of her black Dior bag. Standard. Your flexibility impresses me, Lydia. How did you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?
- Thirdly, she stays away from trend bags. She fell into the clutches of the bottega pouch. She fell hook, line and sinker. If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet! They were not fitting in with her style. She's happy to be proven wrong. Really though Lydia? You should introduce your upper lip to your lower lip sometime and shut the fuck up. Oh I forgot you already did this with Glóby. Side note - I love my Bottega pouch, even more so now she hates it, I might even cuddle it to sleep tonight.
- Fourthly, she doesn't allow herself to be influenced. We'll just all ignore the fact you copied the Chanel Trendy from Frow then. Oh and the Fendi camera bag from Josie. She tells us it's better to regret not spending your money that spending it. Fashion brands caught onto influencers promoting their items. But they were slow off the mark. Fast to drop you though Lydia, weren't they?
- She doesn't impulse buy apparently. Coming from the girl who probably needs a new door bell every 23 days, as it gets rung that often by the delivery man. She states everyone's taste in handbags is different. Her taste is just 'is it free?'
- She boasts next week she's doing a collaboration with Fendi. Why are you always so late to the party Lydia?
- She acknowledges there may be brands out there that think she is ungrateful and difficult. I really can't imagine why.
- She doesn't accept any old thing. She has to stand behind the item. She has to speak with authenticity. Just not on Glóby (her own brand) (the one she didn't originally want to put her name to though). Again, I can't imagine why. Oh wait. I can. Because it's a pile of wank.
- Fifthly, she has to understand the likelihood of use before purchasing. She likes to consider how to use it. I'm quite certain most luxury handbag connoisseurs don't advocate to carry cheese and pickle sandwiches though.
- She confirms she gets trigger happy by selling her unwanted items. Here I would elaborate on the clock she put on Depop for a pound, but I don’t want to make a idiot out of you again, Lydia. Why should I take all the credit?
- She butchers the pronunciation of Hermès. Lydia, you know who can actually say Hermès and who can actually afford to drop 10k on a Hermès bag? CLAIRE CHANELLE. But at least you had the panelling first. Or at least the thought first. Whatever. She acknowledges it's such 'a me bag' apparently. But would she feel that comfortable carrying something that expensive on her arm? This coming from the girl who fanged at a follower that shoes walk on the ground everyday.
- She's been watching her old videos. It's important to remember where you came from. She notes she was very cute in this video. She actually cries at the thought of now being able to tell herself in that video, that she will have a heated steering wheel one day in the future. There are approximately 1,010,390 words in the English language, but I could never string enough together to express how utterly stupid and conceited that comment, in the middle of a global pandemic, is.
- She asks her followers to comment what's your biggest luxury mistake? Brave. Gló must be muted still. Must be.
- It's an advice video - 5 things to do before purchasing a luxury item - see, like, want, beg, repeat. My advice is to file her opinions between 'fuck this' and 'fuck that'. They really are as useful as a flat vibrator.
- She highlights you can't take a bag with you so use it whilst you are on earth. Ever listen to someone that stupid they make you squint? You. Never. Go. Anywhere. Lydia!
- She emphasises if she shows us her mistakes it means we don't have to waste our money. This is your rationale for basically being an online exorcist??? I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per minute now.
- Firstly, she checks what disposable money she has. She doesn't get into debt. She used to buy things second-hand. She acknowledges touch wood she has never been in a situation where she has not been able to afford to pay rent or mortgage. Forgot about that time you was homeless, Lydia? Be careful you don't choke on that bullshit you talk.
- Secondly, she looks at what she already has in her collection. Then corrects herself that she has two limited edition Dior bags. But you know
- She puts pictures on screen of said bags instead of showing us the actual bags from her actual closet. I know you love your horizontal life pauses Lydia, but are you always so lazy or is today a special occasion? This is a rhetorical question BTW. I know the answer. I'm sarcastic not stupid.
- She's going to streamline all her black bags. She already has a black Fendi but won't buy a black Dior. Then shows us a picture of her black Dior bag. Standard. Your flexibility impresses me, Lydia. How did you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?
- Thirdly, she stays away from trend bags. She fell into the clutches of the bottega pouch. She fell hook, line and sinker. If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet! They were not fitting in with her style. She's happy to be proven wrong. Really though Lydia? You should introduce your upper lip to your lower lip sometime and shut the fuck up. Oh I forgot you already did this with Glóby. Side note - I love my Bottega pouch, even more so now she hates it, I might even cuddle it to sleep tonight.
- Fourthly, she doesn't allow herself to be influenced. We'll just all ignore the fact you copied the Chanel Trendy from Frow then. Oh and the Fendi camera bag from Josie. She tells us it's better to regret not spending your money that spending it. Fashion brands caught onto influencers promoting their items. But they were slow off the mark. Fast to drop you though Lydia, weren't they?
- She doesn't impulse buy apparently. Coming from the girl who probably needs a new door bell every 23 days, as it gets rung that often by the delivery man. She states everyone's taste in handbags is different. Her taste is just 'is it free?'
- She boasts next week she's doing a collaboration with Fendi. Why are you always so late to the party Lydia?
- She acknowledges there may be brands out there that think she is ungrateful and difficult. I really can't imagine why.
- She doesn't accept any old thing. She has to stand behind the item. She has to speak with authenticity. Just not on Glóby (her own brand) (the one she didn't originally want to put her name to though). Again, I can't imagine why. Oh wait. I can. Because it's a pile of wank.
- Fifthly, she has to understand the likelihood of use before purchasing. She likes to consider how to use it. I'm quite certain most luxury handbag connoisseurs don't advocate to carry cheese and pickle sandwiches though.
- She confirms she gets trigger happy by selling her unwanted items. Here I would elaborate on the clock she put on Depop for a pound, but I don’t want to make a idiot out of you again, Lydia. Why should I take all the credit?
- She butchers the pronunciation of Hermès. Lydia, you know who can actually say Hermès and who can actually afford to drop 10k on a Hermès bag? CLAIRE CHANELLE. But at least you had the panelling first. Or at least the thought first. Whatever. She acknowledges it's such 'a me bag' apparently. But would she feel that comfortable carrying something that expensive on her arm? This coming from the girl who fanged at a follower that shoes walk on the ground everyday.
- She's been watching her old videos. It's important to remember where you came from. She notes she was very cute in this video. She actually cries at the thought of now being able to tell herself in that video, that she will have a heated steering wheel one day in the future. There are approximately 1,010,390 words in the English language, but I could never string enough together to express how utterly stupid and conceited that comment, in the middle of a global pandemic, is.
- She asks her followers to comment what's your biggest luxury mistake? Brave. Gló must be muted still. Must be.
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hang on, hang on its coming to me 
This constant flip-flopping between "boss bitch"-mode and "sensitive snowflake/damsel-in-distress"-mode is getting awfully old, awfully quickly.
Workin' 9 to 5, what a shitty way to make a livin'
