unless it’s on the way to Waitrose I can’t imagine she’ll bother making an appearance
Jack Monroe #94 It’s okay Jack, others have taken up the baton
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It'll be play-doh and lego for this!
He probably finds her acting "big and hard" at the door bleeping hilarious and stops by to brighten up his round. He can't know that she's an accomplished decker and shin kicker.
I'm re reading her injured back tweet and the responses. After she mentioned yesterday that she was stopping documenting the shops there is literally NO reason to say she's not going food shopping today. Apart from making it known she's not going food shopping....cue people's offers of help.
Absolutely infuriating
Absolutely infuriating
I found this....
Oooofff. Looks heavy
For sure - I just meant from only one of her revenue streams that’s potentially what she’s earning. There’s also different tiers (ie not all patreons are paying £5, some are paying £15). I really don’t have an issue with Patreon as your are paying to receive something. Whether you receive it is another issue.
Yay squiggles go go go
I'd love this please
For someone who's struggled with female ID their whole life, that's a big effort to be part of the heteronormative patriarchyPutting the mango wood to one side for the moment. Jack you were 10 or 11 and I can guarantee you would not have been plucking your eyebrows at that time. Stop acting like you are so much older than you are. I am much older than you, I did pluck my eyebrows and I've got hardly any left as they don't grow back after repeated plucking. So those big bushy things above your eyes? Nah mate
Thanks to @ChickenPorridge ive pinched your screenshot View attachment 287373
I think less stupid and more the need to be "seen" by someone famous.
Just a big shout out to NHS dentistry services through covid-19, and also to Jack for quiet, understated dental work. Not a peep out of her before she had work, nor during
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your summaries always remind me of why I stopped really following her thread here, I feel my blood boiling at just thisCongratulations to @Droosie123 for the thread title - I believe your first! 76 reactionsOne used, slightly muddy Burberry scarf for you.
Recap of thread #93
- She got a bee in her bonnet with Krishnan Guru-Murphy for tweeting about Fareshare (the charity Marcus Rashford supports). Krishnan just doesn’t get it it, with his charity chat. Mate. Are you aware of her work, Krishnan?
- She don’t ‘do nothing’. Now, Jack. Don’t talk in double negatives.
- She took the opportunity to retweet her poverty blog, the seminal art formerly known as ‘Potatoes’. ‘Feels like it’s a good time to remind people of this.’ Why tho.
- Soft delicious comfort, delirium and squeak. No, not another potatoes reference - Mom’s new book is out and Jack has a copy.
- She then had a beef on Twitter about her mate Krishnan with Kirsty Strickland but ultimately decided to back off and ‘agree to disagree’ (translation: admit defeat to someone who can argue calmly, with reason and not ... emotively.)
- She started a mini-discourse on cleaning and ADHD / Autism. And then had a nap with the cat. On the mat.
- Rereading her own work (Potatoes) really kicked her in the feels. She had to take a step back from all the praise for Marcus Rashford and the supportive action amongst food outlets and councils for his campaign to end child food poverty.
- Now that she’s woken up, say does anyone have any stats on ... zzz ... stats on what it would cost to feed ... hhnngg ... and those MPs, those MPs and their fancy meals paid for by US ... ooh, eggs!
- People are arguing in her name so she’s stepping off Twitter. Job done.
- ‘It’s ok Jack. Others have taken up the baton. You can take a break if you need it.’
- GTAFuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
- Feel it’s necessary to repost this on behalf of @Alansbigplate , because it really highlights her plight.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now duck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
Also:
[*][*]
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
[*]
Sometime back a knowledgeable Frau estimated what Jack’s website might generate in advertising revenue. So many people are linking to it at the moment, can anyone say what it might be?
She has a milkman who at delivers at least milk and orange juice regularly, We have the receipts, I am sure they do bread and many other things.I do have one concern though what about bread etc. If her kids coming back tonight surely he will need some bread. Perhaps his dad will bring him with some.
Sorry but bread and milk are the two things I literally ensure I have in, screw everything else. If I have those I am ok. I don't know why that is. I've always been like that.
It's always confuses me when people say they have run out of these things or have none in for days. I see my milk get to a certain point and I will go to any shop to get more.
Sorry to repeat this again but just whyyyyy? That’s beyond “oh, your teeth are a bit yellow in person”. It’s “wow, you must be Jack’s mum! Nice to meet you”
Very glad to have been of ... service?your summaries always remind me of why I stopped really following her thread here, I feel my blood boiling at just this
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