Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Blurp]

I love the way that throwing a load of random tit in a pan and producing unappetising sludge suddenly becomes a 'recipe'.

I call that Fridge Drawer Soup/Stew. Open the fridge and hurl whatever veg are there into a pan with lentils and stock.

 

[Alansbigplate]

This should be her next Twitter bio.

Hi it’s me, Jack Monroe, inventor of healthy start vouchers, accidental kombucha whisky brewer, piano playing bean rinser and 90% lesbian, here to slay my own fears and make you cringe so hard your arse turns inside out.

...evidence speaks for itself mate

 

[bignose28]

According to you, people who cook from scratch universally rely on animal fat for flavour.

I apologise if this was the inference you took from my post. I've eaten many fully vegan meals that were entirely delicious. My reference was to a (perhaps outdated) notion of a "traditional" UK diet.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Jack Monroe Kombucha recipe

Jack Monroe alcohol free whisky

Finished my Grunkarooney™️ and am back in real time.
Just leaving those search terms there so I will remember to Google them later.

 

[Blurp]

I'm just wondering, do I get a special kind of reward for the most Sick reactions to a post that hasn't got a picture or description of Jack's cooking?

 

[kachoochoo]

She really angered me yesterday with her pretending to be poor asda shop.

Today ahe has angered me with her kombucha that tastes (duck all) like whisky.

Someone in her tweet replies actually linked a small scottish kombucha company, which she completely ignored (as far as I could see). A retweet or a signal boost from someone like JM could really help that company.

If it isn't directly benefitting her she could not give a damn. God forbid she'd boost someone else's business or help someone out when she can leverage her social media following to put herself forward for work she has no experience of, and nothing to offer.

so, she'll ignore a small co but if it's "celebs" she's all

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I’m doing something wrong because I had some beans and some bread and some cheese and stupidly I just made beans on toast with cheese on top, what a twerp

Sounds delicious.. how on earth did you think of it?
Do I need to do anything with the beans once I've opened the tin?

..If only there was a Me(l)ssiah to shine a light on all this confusion.

 

[colouredlines]

I'm just pleased that, after her forays into stage makeup, scathing essays, cartoons, #makingmemories and being a mink, Jack's back to what she does best: making revolting slop and offending Scotland.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Crikey, Jack Monroe is really loathed on here. This thread has escalated since this morning. No wonder there are so many threads about her.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Sounds delicious.. how on earth did you think of it?
Do I need to do anything with the beans once I've opened the tin?

..If only there was a Me(l)ssiah to shine a light on all this confusion.

Rinse them.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I call that Fridge Drawer Soup/Stew. Open the fridge and hurl whatever veg are there into a pan with lentils and stock.

Jack on twitter, 2 days from now: DELIGHTED TO ANNOUNCE MY NEXT BOOK - FRIDGE DRAWER STEW (Brexit edition).

 

[BlendedSlop]

It's suddenly just hit me that her all-American, wholesome MOM phase ended as quickly as it started, and now it's like it never happened. I genuinely can't keep up with her.

 

[ameliaprimrose]

Apart from that, there’s about half a stalk of chard cut up in that, between two. How is she using her measurements of the five a day? Is she measuring in the same way she measured space and time? Living with Jack must be like that film Inception

She doesn't understand five a day. It's five portions of fruit and veg a day. A portion is 80-100 gram. So 400 - 500 grams. Should be somewhat varied, but doesn't mean you need five different fruits or vegetables every day. So unless her SB eats about 700 - 800 grams of this dish (allowing for weight of stock, bacon and sausages), he won't be getting his five a day.
Why do we need to spell the most basic crap out to her?

Well, now she's talked about how many portions of their 5-a-day are in it in the blog post for the recipe, and she says that a portion of fruit and veg is 70g. It's not, it's 80g according to the NHS website.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Sounds delicious.. how on earth did you think of it?
Do I need to do anything with the beans once I've opened the tin?

..If only there was a Me(l)ssiah to shine a light on all this confusion.

Yes you rinse all the juice from the beans, slice up a kumquat (peel the fur off first) and then just bung it all in a curry. *chef’s kiss* now get to duck x

 

[ameliaprimrose]

This may have been mentioned as I’m on a Grunka but she cooked the sausages from frozen? Why did she freeze sausages she bought yesterday? Surely being all frugal and that, she meal plans. Therefore she’d have known he’d be having sausages today and she wouldn’t have needed to freeze them.

This one would give Pinocchio a run for his money, I tell ya

I think those bags of Smartprice sausages come frozen in the first place.

 

[Froggies]

She bought a £1 bag of 20 frozen arseholes I mean sausages.

That explains it then
I missed they were frozen as all I could focus on in the photo was the lard.

 

[kachoochoo]

so, she'll ignore a small co but if it's "celebs" she's all

incidentally, I once had a fag standing next to Spencer Matthews outside a hotel in London, he kept looking at me like I should know who is was! I didn't have a clue like.
we just noticed there was a large queue to the bar next door, googled it and learnef there was a made in chelsea highlights show being filmed there!

man, I've fucked this haven't I?!_

 

[Alansbigplate]

I find the spencer product quite problematic too like in the way I think it was Lenny was saying before, he’s suggesting people who have issues with alcohol replace it with this and I just think it’s not really the proper way to be going about it (not that I’ve any knowledge except reading here) specially as he’s making dollar out of it

 

[Veronicaaa]

Spencer Matthews dearie me, there are no depths to which she will not sink are there.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Spencer Matthews dearie me, there are no depths to which she will not sink are there.

He’s all over insta selling it to the young uns. Have a feeling it’s low alcohol not AF too