Congratulations to @Silver Linings for the thread title! A hearty 67 reactions! I couldnāt be more proud of my pirate wife. Expect a moonlight sonata on the lake tonight, dearest heart.
Ahem! Here is the recap. Itās hhhhnnnnggggg long. Today has been off the charts.
Recap of thread #74
Ahem! Here is the recap. Itās hhhhnnnnggggg long. Today has been off the charts.
Recap of thread #74
- Praise beans, Jack Monroe is alive and well! Itās possible that sheās been living quite happily in the fire swamp / Upside Down for some time now, indulging her propensity for tweeting with her sausage hands.
- Or, are they ... mink paws? Who can say, but this Peeky Mink certainly likes Ocado, M&S, has a writing deadline to meet, but still time to dig out their trusty copy of one of the bootstrap recipe books and procrastinate while baking a POTATO.
- Or, perhaps weāre being too suspicious and Mink is not who we think she is? As was quickly stated in her new bio. Oh, ok then, whatever you say, Mink. Whatās your hometown of Edinburgh like? I hear thereās a phenomenal Five Guys (not a chain).
- Minky then seemingly suffered with tweet remorse as she went on a deleting spree, locked their account (sound familiar?) and unliked complimentary posts about Jack Monroe. Poor Jack. Whenās she ever gonna catch a break?
- Peeky Mink follows Sali Hughes, That Man and Thrifty Lesley. And is followed by Louisa and a family member. All together now: lol.
- Massive deposit of Vlad-funded bitcoin to todayās detective @Veronicaaa. See her initial discovery here.
- And tech extraordinaire @heretoreaditall2019 who caught Peeky Minkās Twitter feed run (?) here. All-expenses paid trip to the palace for you.
- I wonder if Peeky Mink is good at writing books and keeping to imminent deadlines? Someone sure needs to be.
- Cartoon capture of Peeky Mink (for safety attached. Screenshot credit @Chip1984).
- But then Jack (the real Jack) came back to warn of a user on Twitter who is āobsessively hounding and bullyingā her under a fake profile (which mocks her name and phraseology). The white sauce thickens.
- Real Jack decided to put their feet under the table and broadcast a panic tweet about empty toilet roll and pasta shelves in Asda (not M&S). Talk about putting out fires with gasoline (she was accused of making things worse). Itās not HER mess, talking-sense person, now get to absolute duck.
- She then claimed she was back on a very strict grocery budget āfor various reasonsā, complete with pics of her Asda haul. Sheās going to be recipe blogging again. Oh, great (or, should I say āgrateā).
- Apparently this gives her purpose, and she does it well, and it helps others. Okay? Now duck off.
- She āsolemnly swearsā to be on call for a daily lockdown larder. Sheāll have her āfastest fingers and finking capā. āJack, Jack - I have a raw egg, a tin of marrow fat peas and a chickenās foot (singular). HALP.ā
- Is today Sunday? Not sure, but at least I finally got dressed.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ās āJack for Dummiesā post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackās most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
āBabe, sameā
āI did a chaosā
āMy maverick brainā
āMy sad little faceā
āIām BUSYā
āI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā
āI laughed up a lungā
One of Jackās followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā¢ļø. She also recently referred to us as āgossip mavensā (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To āGrunkaLunkaā your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so thatās what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it wonāt be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itās what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some āRIP Vivā jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinās bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to āhorse spunkā - there may be some horse āspiritā lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: āThank you so Matt much, Mattā, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: āNow duck offā. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackās own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail āSheās Lyingā picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jackās latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that sheās lying.*
Also:
Here is a link to Jackās Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering āTerrible!ā on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ās hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donāt discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackās most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
āBabe, sameā
āI did a chaosā
āMy maverick brainā
āMy sad little faceā
āIām BUSYā
āI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā
āI laughed up a lungā
One of Jackās followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā¢ļø. She also recently referred to us as āgossip mavensā (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To āGrunkaLunkaā your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so thatās what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it wonāt be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itās what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some āRIP Vivā jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinās bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to āhorse spunkā - there may be some horse āspiritā lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: āThank you so Matt much, Mattā, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: āNow duck offā. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackās own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail āSheās Lyingā picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jackās latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that sheās lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a Ā£4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackās words: āShe [Louisa] leftā.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. āIt just does.ā
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
Here is a link to Jackās Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering āTerrible!ā on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ās hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donāt discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
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