Jack Monroe #574 She's definitely lying about something

[nothanksbabes]

I'm going to stop now but uhhhhhh ....

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I hate everything about the way she writes. It really is dreadful. Grandiose, juvenile, overly verbose, riddled with Amrricanisms. Utter shite.
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POTEMKIN VILLAGES and RECENT ASPARAGUS SHORTAGES IN TESCO of course!
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Either that or Wikipedia, anyway (from 2020)
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As spotted by @kachoochoo
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Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity

(She's going to be on twitter all day long) (Also why ... )

tattle.life

Katch’s spot

Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity

Is anyone running a book on what dinner will be? I'm hoping the opened tin of sardines will be used in something delicious. But possibly not as she's been BUSTED over them not being smart price 😬

tattle.life

Agitprop and Asparagus brought to you by @Marmalade Atkins and the letters L I A R

Why the duck does she need to print a web page and put it in a clipboard? She's like a bleeping kid playacting what grownups do.

My job involves spending a lot of time reading gov.uk guidelines and sifting through legislation, and in four years I have used the printer zero times.

I hate reading from a screen too but I have no desire to be surrounded by reams of unnecessary printing so I crack on.

 

[shugabug23]

Would a kind frau indulge my morbid curiosity and provide a screenshot of the engagement her tweets yesterday got? Interested to see how they compare to the engagement on the anti-guest tweets which did not appear insignificant.

She's still losing followers daily and I love that for her.

Is that what you’re looking for?

 

[Squeaky Beans]

Is that what you’re looking for?

TYFATGYD.

It really is dire, isn't it?

 

[BlendedSlop]

Has she delivered the message she's been tasked with yet, or will her next appearance on the hellsite be a "custard creams or CHEAP bourbons" poll in about 3 days' time?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I think most people on Twitter are on ‘for you’ rather than ‘following’ so the less she posts the less she is seen. The long spells of Twitter will drop her engagement. I bet few of her followers are seeing what she posts, lots of people have left Twitter anyway.

 

[SendReceive]

For a moment I wondered whether this squig had had a meeting with Guest. Then I ruled it out based on “professional context”.

 

[chizontiz]

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alright? I won’t if you won’t? twit.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Is that what you’re looking for?

1.1% of her audience liked it... and she has a locked account?

Tragic.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

1.1% of her audience liked it... and she has a locked account?

Tragic.

It's the equivalent of guest playing Glastonbury, to use her beloved analogy, and 43000 people can hear some kind of honking from a nearby PA system, 470 people have observed 'oh look, Jack Monroe's on' and 2 have actually bothered to stop and watch. How the mighty have fallen.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Every talk Jack does, every interview she tries to control the narrative, which means she always has to get her origin story and The Poverty in. Even if I was a Jack fan and I heard her dulcet honk from afar at a festival, I wouldn’t need to sit through it again, it’s same tit, different title.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

She went a lot further than the fingers apparently. #gauche

 

[SendReceive]

It's the equivalent of guest playing Glastonbury, to use her beloved analogy, and 43000 people can hear some kind of honking from a nearby PA system, 470 people have observed 'oh look, Jack Monroe's on' and 2 have actually bothered to stop and watch. How the mighty have fallen.

Don’t worry Guest, people are getting “the message” loud and clear.

 

[Chickpeas]

Every talk Jack does, every interview she tries to control the narrative, which means she always has to get her origin story and The Poverty in. Even if I was a Jack fan and I heard her dulcet honk from afar at a festival, I wouldn’t need to sit through it again, it’s same tit, different title.

Too early?

 

[FrumpyCat]

“Be humble sis” oh the irony

Jack trying to talk street jive, as she no doubt, probably calls it, is always very funny, innit fam?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It's the equivalent of guest playing Glastonbury, to use her beloved analogy, and 43000 people can hear some kind of honking from a nearby PA system, 470 people have observed 'oh look, Jack Monroe's on' and 2 have actually bothered to stop and watch. How the mighty have fallen.

bleeping hell. I bet she had more than that freeze in horror outside her musicstudio-bed-nest-sepia-shower to try to figure out why the duck Soho Farmhouse keeps giant gak-addled American cuteastinyshinybutton geese who loudly honk out
POO 🪿BALLS🪿 BOULEVAAAAAARD 🪿 HARD ON 🪿
alarming unsuspecting passers by.

Have just re-read and the horror of being there live is summed up perfectly by @Veronicaaa

Starts here:

Jack Monroe #395 That’s not my fanny

didn't jack say her and oh bought like 10 of those godawful hats together? now look at this hat maybe davy b (?medium dave) was harold all along makes u think

tattle.life

Spoiler: That said,

@Bugger13 is completely correct

And as POOOO BALLLS would have it! It’s in our media section, added by @That Forensic Man
HAAAAARD ON SADURRRDAY NAAAAGHT

Post-laryngitis Tom Waits sesh

https://twitter.com/BootstrapCook/status/1570778124102557696

tattle.life

Edit: even if you do it with the sound off, it’s a pearler. But you’re missing out if you don’t have the volume up. Have seen it dozens of times, just watched again and laughed til I cried.
Especially at this bit where she gets so animated she goes off camera.

FFS wot a nob🪿

 

[Django]

Jack trying to talk street jive, as she no doubt, probably calls it, is always very funny, innit fam?

You might wanna get guest's name outa your mouth, bruv fam. xoxo

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Potemkin Villages is my favourite tweet EVER because she thinks is makes her sound Klever but instead makes her sound unhinged/incapable/a bit thick.

Absolutely, and the context makes it even worse. It was apparently some kind of written work for her abandoned nutrition degree. I wonder if she turned it in, and if she did what the reaction of her tutor was.

On the subject of honorary doctorate , Kermit the frog has at least one. A literal muppet can get an honorary doctorate. They are to real doctorates what a plastic participant medal from a primary school sports day is to an Olympic medal.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You might wanna get guest's name outa your mouth, bruv fam. xoxo

You ain’t special.

Spoiler

.

“yo.”

 

[Saltfish84]

I have never watched the Boulevard shower wailing. And I never will.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

They are to real doctorates what a plastic participant medal from a primary school sports day is to an Olympic medal.

(Am not very good at photoshop. Bit like guest herself, really.)