Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

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Do you think her plants are still alive?
I was reading a ( not very good) book about herbal folklore earlier.Hydrangeas in your garden means you will never marry apparently.
 
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I, Jack Monroe’s memories of the sun flit around my mind like…


Je suis la belle soft wool sun

Poverty campaigner FFS. What a load of old bolllx.
 
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She’s probably actually sat there with a tin of handcrafted bourbons from Harrods, tenderstem

(No idea if Harrods sell bourbons but I feel like if they did they’d be in a posh tin!)
 
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Do you think her plants are still alive?
I was reading a ( not very good) book about herbal folklore earlier.Hydrangeas in your garden means you will never marry apparently.
Hydrangeas also poisonous to dogs so best avoided altogether.
 
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Why bother filtering the fuck out of your face, yet not touching up the grey hairs?

Is that to make it look more authentic?
 
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It’s only filtered her eye bags and wrinkles on the side of her face nearest the camera. She looks 55 on one side and 35 on the other.
 
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But BUT if you buy the cheap tinned tomatoes for years, you too can afford multiple £100+ hats!

I mean, if this isn’t an effective advertisement for buying most the expensive tinned tomatoes and pasta you can find for [checks notes] a whole damn decade so you have nothing left to put into your Hat Fund, nothing is.
Such an embarrassment to herself.
 
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I, Jack Monroe’s memories of the sun flit around my mind like…
View attachment 2877859

Je suis la belle soft wool sun
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Poverty campaigner FFS. What a load of old bolllx.
Between soft softy soft soft wool suns attracting hideously decaying copulating moths (wait, or was that the Hopkins butterfly metaphor? I lose track with her bullshit sometimes), rose copper moons turning their gaze from her quim, and chicken-stars, I think we can safely say she knows as much about celestial bodies as she does Georgian cuisine.

Also, I got this ad earlier and thought it was some of her execrable crafting for a moment.



Has she got a job as a designer for Next while she's been away? Looks exactly like the kind of hideous, pointless, time-consuming crap she'd come up with to avoid doing any actual work.
 
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I’d buy that. It’s Heston though, he’d fuck it by adding bone marrow miso gel in the middle.
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Wasn’t lactose itinerant when she was boring everyone about all the viennettas was she?
 
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I’d buy that. It’s Heston though, he’d fuck it by adding bone marrow miso gel in the middle.
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Wasn’t lactose itinerant when she was boring everyone about all the viennettas was she?
VBI = Viennettas Belie Intolerance
 
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She's the classic Liverpool fan- not from round here.

Don't come for me fam. Am from along line of bitters. We have to say the above reflexively.
I share your affliction and I curse the generational trauma our families handed to us.
 
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