Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[Hunsgraveyard]

All this talk of people getting in Jack's niche got me thinking.......

What would Jack be able to do (asides from howl, claw and pull gas radiators off the wall ) if someone was to self publish a cookbook using Amazon tools, called "Thrifty Kitchen: 200 recipes from around the world"???

If said person collected authentic recipes from cultures famed for delicious, flavourful, nutritious and frugal cooking, like various far Eastern, middle Eastern, northern Italian, North African etc etc.

Deliver more recipes, of actual decent food, in a proper book.

Just a thought.......

 

[Captainmouse]

Absolutely, part of her downfall is trying to make things ‘exciting’ with too few viable resources, and then something which could have been perfectly okay and reliable ends up inedible.

I know from experience that cheap vaguely nutritious food can occasionally be pretty boring but rather that than kippers in apple juice, or chilli porridge, or any other startling new combo.

Part of her popularity stems from Guardian types enjoying a car crash voyeurism with the poor povvoes eating their funny little meals, and the associated feels. It’s a sort of spectator sport of novelty.

She thinks she the 'female' Heston

 

[Veronicaaa]

She’s great. She used to own Julie’s Kopitiam in Glasgow, it was really nice.

She's got a place on Dumbarton Road now, also really nice!

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I was literally about to post this! Jack’s skeleton tattoo makes me hoot every time it’s posted. It’s the melting arse cheek that does it for me. I reckon she feeds the tattoo artists slop before each session and she ends up with wonky lines because they keep stopping to clutch their stomachs in agony.

Got a right jump scare on Facebook this morning.

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I logged on after a bit of an absence to post this. Nicely played and great minds and all that!

 

[hereforthechaos]

When I was a pov (and not just chronically skint as I am now) I would buy a tin of Happy Shopper rice pudding from the corner shop, I think it was about 10p*, and my children would have that cold for dinner.

*if only I had painstakingly kept records of what food cost back then, so I could forensically and repeatedly regurgitate my pov story in a manner that may rival guest's.

There are many reasons why she's bleeping infuriating but this is probably the worst. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I hate the fact people read her crap and assume that if we all followed jacks advice and slops, they're be no food poverty. I don't know of I explained that very well but it's probably my aneurism. More so than we she blames everything on being neurodivergent and that boils my piss

 

[Foxvint]

Find what you love and let it kill you is such a weird thing for someone who claims to be sober to have tattooed. You're not Nancy Spungen luv.

Has she ever addressed how she afforded them as the most desperate street pov hungry urchin? She had most of them soon as 1st book came out.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Honestly, if you’ve got time and in need of a good laugh, read those threads. I only done a pesto and it was bleeping awful. I scratch my head at how bad it was. Some people really invested time and money into the ingredients for theirs. The positive is we raised a lot for charity as a result.
Please go and have a read.

I second this. The slopalong threads are brilliant.

And yes, genuinely raised a lot for charity.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I second this. The slopalong threads are brilliant.

And yes, genuinely raised a lot for charity.

With receipts

 

[glubby]

Thirding (?) the recommendation to read the slopalong threads as it’s such an eye opener as well as being hilarious. With all her other grifting and lying and embarrassing stupid tit it’s very easy to forget the fact that Jack simply cannot cook and should never have been allowed a recipe blog, let alone multiple published cookbooks. Like, the one thing she supposedly does well and she’s absolutely insultingly terrible at it. Prepare to be entertained, nauseated, angry, and terrified (sometimes all in the same post).

 

[House of Carbonara]

Seeing as she's still being BORING off toot tooting in her best life or wevs I've made a little slop compilation with nutritional breakdowns. Trigger warning I'll be talking calories and it's long so spoilered.

Spoiler: Slop breakdowns

Pasta All Genovese

View attachment 2289113
View attachment 2289116

320 calories is not an adults dinner portion.

Mushroom and Spinach Bolognese

View attachment 2289127

View attachment 2289129

If you were one of two 'seriously' hungry adults this would be a magnificent 573 calories, for just over a quarter of your daily requirements. Right.

Mushroom, lentil & ale pie

Extra word salad for you here.
View attachment 2289144

If you gave me a plate full of this and it's only 450 cal, I think I'd need to eat half of the rest too. Only I wouldn't because Jack slop. Poor imaginary Phil the heavy lifter.
View attachment 2289146
Her puddings are tit too

Berry Bread Pudding

So many woes is mes in this one...
View attachment 2289160

How can 141 cals be stodgy and comforting? This is just berries and wet bread.

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50/75g of pasta is not an adult serving, especially if it's all you are having for your meal (didn't she post something about having to have a bowl of porridge one evening after eating 75g of pasta, even saying that it wasn't enough for an adult?).
Pesto containing all of 10g of parmesan isn't pesto.
The less said about breaking spaghetti in two the better (ask Stanley Tucci).
I know we've said it countless times - how comes nobody actually checked her recipes before publication?
Feckless, lying charlatan.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I think the song is meant to be “the heart of Saturday night” although I could be wrong, I can’t bear to listen to more than a few seconds of Jack’s version because I quite like Tom Waits and I don’t want her to ruin the song for me.

———

It won’t let me quote the original post for some reason, but Jack reusing that picture of SB tucking into a piece of German friendship cake as evidence of how cold and malnourished he was during the pretend poverty is absolutely horrible. And it’s got me thinking…does she lie to SB and pretend they really were destitute and starving when he was too young to remember? He’s old enough now that he’s probably read some of her articles out of curiosity. Do you think he believes the stories she tells about him, or does he know she’s making a lot of it up? I can’t decide which is worse tbh… your mum lying to your face about your own experiences, or being manipulated into going along with the lie from an early age because “mamapapa has to make up stories so that the nasty politicians will want to help the poor people”. Either way it’s really sickening and I feel so sad for him being dragged into all this with no choice in the matter.

I’ve said this before but this is the bit that really gets my goat. I bet every single person in this thread can relate to having a childhood memory, even something minor, and then mentioning it in front of your parents/siblings/grandparents/auntie/whoever and them saying “oh no that didn’t happen like that, this happened…” and how temporarily disorientating it can be when you then have to try to piece together whether it’s a perspective issue or you’ve misremembered or they have etc.

Imagine being SB having to not only contend with what he remembers vs what his dad remembers vs what Jack remembers but also the 57 different stories in the media about his early childhood, all the anecdotes he probably never said, all the personal things she’s shared about him that may or may not be true.

And his maternal grandparents and dad will pay the price for not stepping in and trying to stop her when teen or young adult SB asks them “Did X really happen, did I really say X?” and they have to admit she lied and he asks why they let her do that to him.

 

[Nonah]

Hello. Coming from the past to ask why guest was grating a lime for Sunday lunch. Am baffled.

 

[emotionalsupportsideboard]

Slopalong:

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

A thread to document and discuss the challenges and chaos of making one of Jack Monroe’s many ‘recipes’.

tattle.life

Slopalong 2:

Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley

Congratulations to @OwlChampagne , nominating @NobblyBobbly ’s words for the title. You both win a slice or spoon of a dish of your choice from the last thread, washed down with @That Forensic Man ’s choppy egg. Brava/o for all your efforts. Hardly surprising that none of Jack’s recipes aren’t...

tattle.life

Slopalong 3:

Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

Thread title by @MavisBeacon nominated by @traumatised sideboard - you win your choice of any of the slops cooked in thread 2. For those who've stumbled on this thread by accident, it's a spin-off of the Jack Monroe threads where Tattlers are cooking their way through Jack's seven cookbooks in...

tattle.life

Me and my sensitive tum might regret this... but I might try my own Slopalong on pay day...
---

Hello. Coming from the past to ask why guest was grating a lime for Sunday lunch. Am baffled.

I reckon she's got scurvy from the lack if nutrition in her recipes.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Me and my sensitive tum might regret this... but I might try my own Slopalong on pay day...
---

I reckon she's got scurvy from the lack if nutrition in her recipes.

Don’t worry about your sensitive tum - you won’t want to eat enough of it to have any impact. Even my dog wouldn’t eat the horsespunk lasagne.

 

[Lazarus]

Imagine being SB having to not only contend with what he remembers vs what his dad remembers vs what Jack remembers but also the 57 different stories in the media about his early childhood, all the anecdotes he probably never said, all the personal things she’s shared about him that may or may not be true.

I experienced a life changing traumatic event a few years ago, my best friend and others experienced the same. My best friend and I both had to give lengthy police interviews the day after, neither of us had done that before.
the interview(s) lasted about half a day. Mine at home, hers at the local police station. We were both witness to the event, and yet parts of our statement were different. Perception, memory during a shock etc obviously played a part in that. Plus on top there’s the things that were perhaps insignificant to me and relevant to her, and vice versa, so I believe it can happen. How she remembers something mightn’t be how someone close to her might. That doesn’t excuse or account for her lies.

The thing that always gets me is, like, the ‘SB took this video/photograph of me and he done it off his own back because he said ‘mamapapa I want you to view yourself the way I view you’. That is her actually saying he said or done something. He must read that and think “no I bleeping did not”. I think that must be really confusing for him. The cooking videos and the photo of her sitting on the caravan step spring to mind.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Hello. Coming from the past to ask why guest was grating a lime for Sunday lunch. Am baffled.

She was getting under her mum’s feet so she gave her a pointless task to do. Keeps her quiet.

 

[plentyofpepper]

It's very much a 1970s understanding of Indian cuisine isn't it. Jack's approach to curries hails back to the time when a curry house seemed an exotic rarity and a Vesta curry was an unusual treat. So little England.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely abhor food snobbery because no one region 'owns' anything. Also, I like a chicken tikka masala and chips as much as the next person. I'm just drawing attention to Jack's complete lack of interest in actually learning about more authentic ways of cooking certain dishes. And the brass balled hypocrisy of her drawing attention to That Man's jollof rice when she had the gall to pass off this creamy white bland monstrosity as a curry.

I just picture her poor poor guests (read: people dragged along kicking and screaming out of a vague sense of do-gooding, or something) finally escaping from milky sultana curry night and rushing out on to the street in the rain breathing the biggest sigh of relief and belting out (to the tune of What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes):

and I said heyyyyy yeah yeah yeah-eh
heyyyy yeah-eh
I said hey
SLOP’S going onnn

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Cinamonn roast potatoes is a new one!

Nah, nicked off Tonia Buxton - did two satellite TV series, My Greek Kitchen and My Cypriot Kitchen in 2012 (plus book).

Is surprisingly edible if you a) cook the potatoes for more than 10 seconds, b) stick them in with the chicken, c) use a fuckton of sea salt.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

guest creeping about on Twitter this afternoon - has liked two posts
Follower count still nicely dropping to pre-QT figures

 

[plentyofpepper]

Seeing as she's still being BORING off toot tooting in her best life or wevs I've made a little slop compilation with nutritional breakdowns. Trigger warning I'll be talking calories and it's long so spoilered.

Spoiler: Slop breakdowns

Pasta All Genovese

View attachment 2289113
View attachment 2289116

320 calories is not an adults dinner portion.

Mushroom and Spinach Bolognese

View attachment 2289127

View attachment 2289129

If you were one of two 'seriously' hungry adults this would be a magnificent 573 calories, for just over a quarter of your daily requirements. Right.

Mushroom, lentil & ale pie

Extra word salad for you here.
View attachment 2289144

If you gave me a plate full of this and it's only 450 cal, I think I'd need to eat half of the rest too. Only I wouldn't because Jack slop. Poor imaginary Phil the heavy lifter.
View attachment 2289146
Her puddings are tit too

Berry Bread Pudding

So many woes is mes in this one...
View attachment 2289160

How can 141 cals be stodgy and comforting? This is just berries and wet bread.

View attachment 2289162

So we can add ‘brooding’ to words she doesn’t understand. How in the everloving duck can a PIE be brooding?!?