Jack Monroe #478 “Well perhaps you should have kept your legs shut!” chortled Thomas

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And the same applies for romantic competition 😬 Gen Z are gorgeous girls who know how to dress and don’t apply makeup with the sponge q tip toddler palettes come with, and don’t have google search results that’d make Bernie Madoff’s missus blush. Even to find someone of “normal” socioeconomic standing will be hard as she’s an active financial liability. I’m sure some kind hearted soul will love her for the love bomb version of her though and that’ll last a good 6 months.
You don't always need to be young and beautiful to find someone rich - and Jack is evidently prepared to date much older, to a 50- or 60- something looking for a much younger partner Jack's age group would still appeal. But she's a horrible person so she totally screws herself. Louisa LEFT after years of being treated poorly by Jack and OH had her aggressively pushing for serious commitment after just a few months

Although thinking about it, there's a fair few women in TV and journalism whose image is built on being very brash and "I say what I want no matter who it upsets" and who think swearing is a personality trait. And some of them must be gay or bi. It's gotta be pretty #dire when Jack doesn't appeal even to that type of person
 
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Ballet, chess, karate, piano…there’s nothing wrong with a child doing any or all of these, but they’re achingly middle class.
Outing myself as POV as duck but I used to consider all after school activities as middle class. We never had extra curricular activities. Once my mum gave me money to go Irish dancing but I bought 10 Lambert and Butler instead 😎
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She has a Jack Belt in karate from the Monroe Dojo. You wouldn’t know it.
I heard that when Jack went go - karting she did a couple of laps, Then pulled over and then the bloke that runs the thing comes over and said

‘ Oi no professionals!’

So Jack takes her helmet off, and goes ‘I'm not a professional.’

He said ‘you're not a professional? Well, you should be, if I was you I'd take up Formula One, and if you drive like that you'd probably be the best in the country!’

But Jack Said she’s not interested, she’s making sh*t loads out of scamming patreons…

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This was mine. And it’s just brought back deeply buried memoirs of tuna and mayonnaise sandwich spread sandwiches which I hated but my mum insisted on serving me every day for years, for some unknown reason. And lukewarm orange squash which took on the taste of the plastic flask. Vom.
This was the very one I lusted after but was never allowed. My mum said they were tacky and I hated her for it.
 
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i live within ‘popping in’ distance of my parents (who are divorced but both still live in the same area). Not going to lie I hate it, coming back here was a massive mistake and we are looking to move when it’s a suitable time for the children 😂.

In Jack’s case though, it’s probably more of a nightmare for Big Dave and Ma E. Although I imagine they like being close enough to keep an eye on SB.
I live a thirty minute drive from my mum, which imho is the absolute perfect distance. Close enough to visit easily (and not have to stay over) and get to in the event of an emergency, but too far for popping to ever be an option.
 
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I’m sure she complained about the postage costs of the postcards she hasn’t even sent! I’m sure that’s the issue. The longer she’s left it the more expensive it’s become.
She‘s so used to having the full whack of patreon cashos for sideboards and puddle finds that at this stage printing and postage costs must seem like an unreasonable expense that hasn’t been budgeted for and means She can’t do something else with the money she wanted to. Like for us mere normies if the car or boiler breaks and needs fixed. So she SHAN’T.

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re Content saving her money, no doubt she intended to convey that the soft gentle canine scooping keeps her off the sauce and flicks the eyes light switch on and off, but what if Content is actually making her money by being a one dog puppy farm* or being rented out for TV or modelling work?

*I can’t abide dogs, so have no idea what age they mature at, but it’s not like Jack’s shy of using children or animals for her own gain.
 
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I live a thirty minute drive from my mum, which imho is the absolute perfect distance. Close enough to visit easily (and not have to stay over) and get to in the event of an emergency, but too far for popping to ever be an option.
We’re aiming for 45 mins!
 
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Anyway I digress. She likes to lord it over people as far as I can tell. I imagine she's a nightmare on a TV set or photo shoot. Pure speculation of course!
Ha even Jack’s acknowledged that people think she’s a bleeping nightmare. She’s not though, she’s POLITE OBLIGING HAPPY and oh, AUTISM.

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Follow up tweet. (screenies from @Veronicaaa)
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She’s DEFINITELY not difficult to work with though, she’s a delight. And she has LOADS of (softly gently forensically collated) EVIDENCE to prove it!

 
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Ha even Jack’s acknowledged that people think she’s a bleeping nightmare. She’s not though, she’s POLITE OBLIGING HAPPY and oh, AUTISM.

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Follow up tweet. (screenies from @Veronicaaa)
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She’s DEFINITELY not difficult to work with though, she’s a delight. And she has LOADS of EVIDENCE to prove it! MATE.

Why does she have to put in so much effort to behave like a human? What is she, a bot? I know she’s a lying slopgoblin but
 
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I love living close to my parents but whether they’ve always felt the same, I don’t know! I think of all Jack’s woes, the fact her parents still care for and about her isn’t a major flaw.
 
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Surprised she hasn't compared herself in the most dramatic way possible. "As somebody who knows what it's like to be driven out by hate*, my thoughts are with Nicola as she bravely, powerfully, gracefully handles her resignation. Look after yourself oh powerful woman"
*and have your finances heavily scrutinised due to fiddling them

Sorry if I've accidentally stolen what's in your drafts, Jack.
Maybe she'll think she needs to go and save the Scots (God help them...)
 
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Ha even Jack’s acknowledged that people think she’s a bleeping nightmare. She’s not though, she’s POLITE OBLIGING HAPPY and oh, AUTISM.

View attachment 1964367
Follow up tweet. (screenies from @Veronicaaa)
View attachment 1964368

She’s DEFINITELY not difficult to work with though, she’s a delight. And she has LOADS of (softly gently forensically collated) EVIDENCE to prove it!

So you're telling me she swilled out the bathtub that had a load of manky pennies in it, before getting the ketchup out and softly, gently polishing each 2p clean? Maybe that's why her and Simon were so late going out to dins and getting home.
 
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Ha even Jack’s acknowledged that people think she’s a bleeping nightmare. She’s not though, she’s POLITE OBLIGING HAPPY and oh, AUTISM.

View attachment 1964367
Follow up tweet. (screenies from @Veronicaaa)
View attachment 1964368

She’s DEFINITELY not difficult to work with though, she’s a delight. And she has LOADS of (softly gently forensically collated) EVIDENCE to prove it!

People need to “hold” her at work and she still doesn’t get that she’s “difficult”

Mate, wtf
 
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re Content saving her money, no doubt she intended to convey that the soft gentle canine scooping keeps her off the sauce and flicks the eyes light switch on and off, but what if Content is actually making her money by being a one dog puppy farm* or being rented out for TV or modelling work?

*I can’t abide dogs, so have no idea what age they mature at, but it’s not like Jack’s shy of using children or animals for her own gain.
I can see her having the patience interest to deal with all the day to day tasks involved with owning a dog, let alone all the secretions and emissions 💨💩. Then theres worming and flea treatment to be done………

Just dont see her doing it
 
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People need to “hold” her at work and she still doesn’t get that she’s “difficult”

Mate, wtf
A two year old throwing a temper tantrum would be more use than Jack in the workplace. Can you imagine her doing the petted lip because "the internet is being a big meanie to little meeeee- Carooole tell the internet to play nicely". God help anyone who got her on the phone in her fire service days, they'd be screaming in a panic and she'd be droning on about a boil on her arse and how Belinda is a total liar and it's her that smells like poos, not Jack.
 
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December 2012:
Jack “irons her nicest blouse and cardigan, brushes her hair and tries to look clean, tidy and respectable (FFS) because a lady is coming to take her photo for the newspaper”.
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2022: “A lady from the television” invites her on to do some cooking, so Jack pops on her trusty “nicest blouse and cardigan”, abuses a shitload of substances to get properly bloated, doesn’t shower for a week, brushes her hair with a pork chop and wedges a festival-full of effluent up under her nails.
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(Praise beans to @Marmalade Atkins for the nice collage (TM))

DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDDOS!
 
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All this is reminding me that I have a friend who works in television 🍉 who's a mine of great gossip and yet I haven't ever though to ask her about old Jackie. I'll report back after I next see her down the boozer.
 
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