Jack Monroe #478 “Well perhaps you should have kept your legs shut!” chortled Thomas

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title from @Mr Krabs nominated by @Emmapism. Congrats to the both of you, your prize is front row seats to the Tattle trial which will definitely be held now that the crack team of paralegals is on it again. Honorary mention for @Valiofthedolls nominating a squig for 'a fraud who sells poverty porn alongside the world's worst recipes to middle-class Guardian readers', I wasn't convinced we'd be allowed to have porn in the title.

In the last thread Bible Jack made an unwelcome entry, presumably finally catching up to her Mormon church sister-wife look.

Wiki is the pink button up top for newbies. When nominating a thread title please use the words 'thread title' and NO SWEARING. I don't know why I'm bothering to write that, it's inevitable.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

First x

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

First in this county.

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

@Jelly Bean I couldn't quote you from the last thread in this thread because I am a stupid ninny with the internet skills of a mouldy yog but here is who jack's crush saud she looked like 🥹

It's made me feel sick to go back and crawl through the fawning faux laughter comments so I hope you're grateful. Warned.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Recap:

since the joy of half term starting, Jack has:

• Picked a fight with a journalist because of the lack of a comma
• Posted pictures of empty bank accounts
• Said that she hasn’t eaten for 2 months
• Said her family are on round the clock S watch
• Said she is being targeted by underground trolls funded by the Institute of Economic Affairs.

what a great time SB must be having

Also claimed to be a former county chess champion, patronisingly sneered at someone not being Christian enough for her, and told the world her new neighbour is police then threatened to visit them with slop

 

[Lazarus]

Recap:


Also claimed to be a former county chess champion, patronisingly sneered at someone not being Christian enough for her, and told the world her new neighbour is police then threatened to visit them with slop

Thoroughly explained how holy and how qualified she is in this tweet, which was deleted within 6 minutes.

Jack Monroe #477 I wish all millionaires cared about others like you do

Thanks, Jack. Now, forever more, Dido will have to perform the chorus as "and IIIIIIIII ... want to thank (space) you."

tattle.life

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thoroughly explained how holy and how qualified she is in this tweet, which was deleted within 6 minutes.

Jack Monroe #477 I wish all millionaires cared about others like you do

Thanks, Jack. Now, forever more, Dido will have to perform the chorus as "and IIIIIIIII ... want to thank (space) you."

tattle.life

That's because the squig reported her quick sharp for abuse based on religion!

 

[Captainmouse]

In the previous thread someone said she shouldn’t be near sb, she should not be responsible for any sentient being, she is dangerously irresponsible and self cantered

 

[HotesTilaire]

-Jack proved that people who use bible references in arguments and get huffy going on about being Christian are the least Christian
-Jack has been aiming for a DhOTY award by telling us made up conversations she’s been having with SB
-Parenting is FINALLY paying out as SB showed a slight interest in Chess which Jack is the best at and is her “thing” finally he wants to do things she likes. Not like when he wanted to do all that other stuff like support LFC or visit Tanzania or do photography and take pics of Jack
-Squigs have been on good form. One has issued a legal letter before action (Jack could now use it as a template to write to 30p Lee?) Lawyer Squig wrote a thread on why Jack was wrong in the reasons she gave for begging for legal fund donations, and one wag gave her the instructions on how to pause her patreon.
-Content has saved Jack so much money, apparently. The canal mithered that Content is working 120hr weeks down pit, online or managing a hedge fund.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

How does your kid get to almost 13 without knowing you played chess at county level. Especially since they allegedly have so much wholesome conversation in that household. Hmm yeah something not adding up there (more shite talking). Imagine always having to be better at stuff than your actual child as well. My 10 yo is better than me at EVERYTHING, and if they aren't they soon learn and take over and I'm forever astounded and impressed and will continue to tell them so for the rest of my days. Get some other content, Jack. Leave your kid out of your ridiculous Tweets.

 

[houseofhoop]

Jack proved that people who use bible references in arguments and get huffy going on about being Christian are the least Christian
Jack has been aiming for a DhOTY award by telling us made up conversations she’s been having with SB
Parenting is FINALLY paying out as SB showed a slight interest in Chess which Jack is the best at and is her “thing” finally he wants to do things she likes. Not like when he wanted to do all that other stuff like support LFC or visit Tanzania or do photography and take pics of Jack

Sorry to offend any dear Fraus on here, but anyone using a bible verse in an argument needs their heads seeing to. 2000 year old nonsensical, contradictory advice . Outdated and irrelevant. Bit likeJackie

 

[HotesTilaire]

How does your kid get to almost 13 without knowing you played chess at county level. Especially since they allegedly have so much wholesome conversation in that household. Hmm yeah something not adding up there (more shite talking). Imagine always having to be better at stuff than your actual child as well. My 10 yo is better than me at EVERYTHING, and if they aren't they soon learn and take over and I'm forever astounded and impressed and will continue to tell them so for the rest of my days. Get some other content, Jack. Leave your kid out of your ridiculous Tweets.

IDK. I knew she played Chess and who shagged her last, and I’ve never even met or spoke to her.

 

[stunrw]

There are tribes in the amazon as yet to be discovered who know who her last shag was

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I’ve got a daughter a couple of years older than SB, and I was just thinking about the chess thing. If my daughter wants to know how to do something she finds a YouTube tutorial. She’s currently teaching herself some kind of graphics coding from tutorials (I have absolutely no idea what it is, as far as I’m concerned coding is basically magic). I assume she’s not unusual in this and that most kids would rather find a tutorial than ask their parents to teach them because let’s face it, parents are quite annoying and tutorials don’t get stuff wrong or patronise you. I find it highly unlikely that if a thirteen year old boy wanted to learn to play chess in 2023 his first port of call would be his mother.

 

[AnnRKey]

Think she means cunty level not county level. FOR EVERYTHING.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Song of Songs 7:4 NIV: Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.

Bless you all.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I can’t believe I get a chance to share this. But often poor northern local authority museums will only have CCTV at the door, and staff walking about.
I know someone who worked in northern city museum whose boss caught 2 teenagers at it in a very dark gallery about mining. He was extremely straight laced and would have paid money to see his face.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

There are even recipes. The Bible has everything.

Ezekiel 4:12 NIV: You will eat it as you would a barley cake and bake it over dried human excrement in their sight.

 

[MavisBeacon]

There are even recipes. The Bible has everything.

Ezekiel 4:12 NIV: You will eat it as you would a barley cake and bake it over dried human excrement in their sight.

Someone else can take that for the slopalong...

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I’ve got a daughter a couple of years older than SB, and I was just thinking about the chess thing. If my daughter wants to know how to do something she finds a YouTube tutorial. She’s currently teaching herself some kind of graphics coding from tutorials (I have absolutely no idea what it is, as far as I’m concerned coding is basically magic). I assume she’s not unusual in this and that most kids would rather find a tutorial than ask their parents to teach them because let’s face it, parents are quite annoying and tutorials don’t get stuff wrong or patronise you. I find it highly unlikely that if a thirteen year old boy wanted to learn to play chess in 2023 his first port of call would be his mother.

My 7 year old taught herself to make loom band bracelets from a YouTube tutorial at the weekend , obviously preferable to me trying and probably messing it up!