Jack Monroe #478 “Well perhaps you should have kept your legs shut!” chortled Thomas
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While it’s relatively quiet, can someone explain where SMOL came from? Was it a Jackism or a Tattle invention?
We have more issues with the kids whose parents 'forget' to put lunch money on ParentPay than with FSM issues - the kids come and see us if they've been told there's nothing on their account (so nobody can tell they're FSM or not). We usually say 'Do you want me to call Mum/whoever to ask her to put some money in?' and the answer usually gives us a clue whether there might be a problem. Whatever happens, the next thing we do is say something like 'Ah, there's probably a glitch in the system, let's pop down to the kitchen so we can make sure you get some lunch' - the kitchen manager knows that a 'glitch in the system' means 'Please feed this child' and will also frequently bring them down if she's seen somebody not getting food or a friend buying it for them more than twice, saying 'Hi, Miss, I think there might be a glitch in the system with Jessica's account, can you check please?'
(tappity-tap-tap)
'Oh, yes, looks like there might be. Could she have lunches whilst we sort it out, please?'. So they always get fed.
We also occasionally get calls asking why an account has gone down so quickly - when we look at what's been bought, it's pretty easy to work out what's going on 'Um, could she be buying food for somebody else as well? It's a very kind thing to do if she is, but we'd like to see if one of her friends needs some help, so maybe you could ask her tonight and let us know in the morning?' Nobody's ever been angry about that - we do check if they've been spoken to the next day - and it's helped us pick up family financial issues quickly. It's all done very privately, other than the breezy 'Oh, it'll be a glitch'.
It's many miles (and years) away from the crap we had to deal with at school.
I think time could be factored in to extracurricular activities.
Time and resources to chauffeur your kids around to multiple activities during the week. Lots of people can't
This, plus you just know all the dickheads sticking up for her on the hellsite are the same people demanding to see the manager with bleeping menaces if their waitress looks at them the wrong way.
And the same applies for romantic competition
Gen Z are gorgeous girls who know how to dress and don’t apply makeup with the sponge q tip toddler palettes come with, and don’t have google search results that’d make Bernie Madoff’s missus blush. Even to find someone of “normal” socioeconomic standing will be hard as she’s an active financial liability. I’m sure some kind hearted soul will love her for the love bomb version of her though and that’ll last a good 6 months. @Lucy Aeroplane I agree completely but can’t imagine her ever settling for anything in east London when she’s used to really big homes and gardens, in a very quiet retirement community. A “one bed flat” that is actually the bottom half of a v large semi detached home is vvv different from even the nicest Victorian terrace flats in the posher boroughs, and there’s no way she’d cope in a noisy new build block in the more aggressively gentrified ones. Ngl I find this era of she’s fucked it hilarious
It is a tattlism but from when she was using smol as a word quite a bit, I think. Kind of like she‘s been doing with “heckin” it just grated.
Agree 100%. Even our big boss refers to us as "team" or "colleagues" (occasionally other words if something has gone wrong). JM is being fairly disrespectful to her former colleagues, who lets face it, probably deserve some kind of award for sticking with her. I wonder if she sends any TV companies she's working with one of those rider things demanding whale foreskin omelettes, chocolates, puppies and a draw full of dildos
With comments like that you wonder if she is the sort of person who clicks her fingers at waiting staff in restaurants................
To be fair, if I were an international megastar, my rider would always include (instead of crates of Dom Perignon or only red Opal Fruits ready unwrapped and red Fruit Pastilles in Lalique bowls with hand towels made with spun gold), separate Beagle puppy and kitten rooms with human sized doughnut beds in each for my emotional wellbeing.
As it is, I'm generally totally indulged with some ready chilled gluten free beer and fruit juice with a couple of packets of non Walker's crisps at most gigs. It's the Punk Rock Way.
She seems to love insisting on doing this ALL ON HER OWN instead of getting people in to help, which doesn't do her any favours.
Grunking pitifully cos half term. Children. But coming in from the past to say
a) in my limited experience: yes kids of sb's age group are currently listening to eminem
And b) I have had sex in a museum (not current)
a) in my limited experience: yes kids of sb's age group are currently listening to eminem
And b) I have had sex in a museum (not current)
Jack is currently grifting an amount of money from around five hundred people a month via patreon. This amount has been higher (ta, ma) and has been lower. Each subscriber is free to cancel and/or request a refund. She’ll not pause or refund without a Sulk Smash.
I assume this is her main income, even though she is such a popular public speaking hire with a magnificently popular new release book
If patreon wasn’t there she would have seriously worked her catch a minted* partner plan with a bit more application 
*Maybe loaded instead of minted: all wealth adjectives are interchangeable, and mint is FLAVOUR.
Somewhere London-adjacent there is a comfortable, gullible simpleton who will never know what a near miss they’ve had, and just how much they owe the patreon business model. Go well (a sort of hole) lucky fool.
I assume this is her main income, even though she is such a popular public speaking hire with a magnificently popular new release book
If patreon wasn’t there she would have seriously worked her catch a minted* partner plan with a bit more application *Maybe loaded instead of minted: all wealth adjectives are interchangeable, and mint is FLAVOUR.
Somewhere London-adjacent there is a comfortable, gullible simpleton who will never know what a near miss they’ve had, and just how much they owe the patreon business model. Go well (a sort of hole) lucky fool.
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I subscribe to a niche music magazine. If that doesn’t land on my doormat by a certain date in the month I get twitchy; partly because I’m paying for it, but because I really want to read it. I think it costs about £66 a year, or thereabouts. To think Jack has people paying £44 A MONTH for duck all, and aren’t going mental is mind blowing. I can’t think of any other service provider who wouldn’t have been closed down by now if they didn’t deliver for almost 3 years. Would I continue paying for a magazine for three years even if they hadn’t delivered because I know that deep down they’re doing good work? Even the thought of that is ludicrous.
I think it shows up her real lack of independence tbh. She likes to pretend she's all this and that, but really, other than the few months with Leggy, she's never left that particular suburb in Southend.
Rich coming from someone who lives with their mother, I know, but I'll acknowledge both the privilege and shittiness of that situation!
i live within ‘popping in’ distance of my parents (who are divorced but both still live in the same area). Not going to lie I hate it, coming back here was a massive mistake and we are looking to move when it’s a suitable time for the children
.In Jack’s case though, it’s probably more of a nightmare for Big Dave and Ma E. Although I imagine they like being close enough to keep an eye on SB.
Which is strange because she has everyone scooping her up to help in every other aspect of her life
Why do I have it in my head that Jack’s lease was up on 11 Feb? I have looked though her tweets on the hellsite and can find nothing.
I doubt she’s the only one who lacks any kind of independence when she moved out. My next door neighbour is probably late 30s, single guy. His mum comes on a Wednesday to clean the house top to bottom, put the bin out and bring it back in. She strips his bedding and hangs washings on the line. He told me he rarely cooks at home because he goes to his parents almost every evening on the way home from work and gets dinner there.
a few weeks ago during a really cold spell, I was chatting to his mum who was in the front garden, dressed like she was going on an expedition, pruning his forever hydrangea in time for Spring. What surprised me more was he came to the front door in his Pj’s to say he was closing the door as he was getting a draft. I was astounded that he was there and more astounded that she didn’t throw dagger between his eyes.
Having been married to someone like this, who has independence only in as much as they don’t live with their parents probably isn’t that unusual. It’s bleeping weird though and part of the reason I was divorced at 25
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10th I think. I think she’s moved or taken an extra rolling month because she’s still packing.
She really ought to know by now the sort of tasks that she's spectacularly unsuited to. And yet she keeps picking them up - the kickstarter, the VBI, pledging to fulfill the outstanding Patreon rewards, signing a contract for yet another book when her last one was over a year late.
It's almost as if she wants to fail. I wonder if she's doing it in order to make people pity her?
We live about 10 mins drive from my in laws, but tbh were more likely to pop in on them as their house is convenient for going to the town centre.i live within ‘popping in’ distance of my parents (who are divorced but both still live in the same area). Not going to lie I hate it, coming back here was a massive mistake and we are looking to move when it’s a suitable time for the children
In Jack’s case though, it’s probably more of a nightmare for Big Dave and Ma E. Although I imagine they like being close enough to keep an eye on SB.
My parents only live 20 mins away but have only been to our house once since we moved 18 months ago, which given we have their only grandchild I actually find rather insulting that they CBA (/merail)
I love that she pretends to be the scrappy lil pixie but I bet if you asked her to spend a day in Swindon or Scunthorpe (no offense) she'd only visit chain restaurants/cafes and avoid eye contact with the locals.
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I think it was the 12th and it was worked out from some of her count down posts (because she's soooo private)
She told us on 12th Jan that she'd given a month's notice to end the lease on the crappy bungalow:
Not sure if that meant 28 days or 30 days or 1 calendar month, but it should have ended by now either way.
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