Hand jobs for handijobs.
Apologies i just watched motely crue's the Dirt and its addled my brain.
Apologies i just watched motely crue's the Dirt and its addled my brain.
Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving
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How does one go about trading sexual favours for paint? Is it like 1l of F&B for O levels, 2.5l for A levels? Does one have to leave the tin of paint on the dresser beforehand? I can imagine it’s a dodgy business. Lots of punters filling up the posh cans with Wilko paint to fool the poor working girls. It’s sad really. Lots of them get hooked on Dulux at first because it seems like innocent fun and then a couple of years on they’re turning tricks for F&B sample pots just to get through the day.
She's such a predictable head. And, she never would, and has never tried to either. It's the ultimate manipulation tactic. She's a nasty piece of work.BREATHING KLAXON
Interesting she can deploy the cat and dog (because she reads this - hi bleep face) but can’t deploy Johnny on a whim because…
He. Doesn’t. Live. With. Her.
Thank god.
He. Doesn’t. Live. With. Her.
Thank god.
BIB for thread title
Jack has changed her curtains again, 2nd time in the last 2 weeks and 3rd time since she moved to sleep on her sofa
Odd to change your curtains 3 times when you’re moving out no? Could she already be in the crappy forever home?
Odd to change your curtains 3 times when you’re moving out no? Could she already be in the crappy forever home?
Cheers Jack for putting the 'Cooper is gone' theory to bed sooner rather than later 
she could've dragged that one out for another few months and I don't think I could take it. I wonder if she's gonna keep mentioning she's sleeping on the sofa until some innocent Squig sets up a crowdfunder to get Jack a bed or something. There has to be a reason, she's seriously mentioning it every day at this point 
nobody caressssss
she could've dragged that one out for another few months and I don't think I could take it. I wonder if she's gonna keep mentioning she's sleeping on the sofa until some innocent Squig sets up a crowdfunder to get Jack a bed or something. There has to be a reason, she's seriously mentioning it every day at this point nobody caressssss
This may be one of the few times when she got talked out of doing something. I can see her wanting to do it because she knows more than anyone else about everything. But Rosemary or Carole or whoever might have convinced her that ending up looking like an utter twit who knows eff all about cooking would not be helpful.
With her grifty greed I bet Who Wants To Be A Millionaire would appeal to her too, but she might have a wee bit of trouble with Phone A Friend when her imaginary BFFs don't pick up the call...
I love how quiet it got on here between 9 and 10pm today 
. My bedtime grunk was manageably short lol
. My bedtime grunk was manageably short lolJack, we all know you've just got under a duvet on your sofa to watch the telly in comfort like a lot of us do in the winter when it's a bit chilly and want to feel a bit snuggled up. Just admit that once you've taken the performative pet picture, you then bundle it back upstairs and go to bed. Properly. Like the rest of the f*cking population do. We aren't the gullible imbeciles you take us for, you colossal c*nt
“72 baps, Connie. You slice, I’ll spread”
Surely it should be Boulevaaaaard?
p.s. duck off to bed, Jack - you said you were going to sleep an hour ago you twit.
p.s. duck off to bed, Jack - you said you were going to sleep an hour ago you twit.
Imagine prostituting yourself for paint? Is this where she gets her 'sex work' from?
Sunday night chaos also proves SB isn't there. You're too busy making sure they've had a wash, actually done their homework instead of throwing it off the bloody verandah (yes, really) and that their uniform is sorted. Plus, eating a non sloppy meal and getting your own stuff sorted for the week
I realise everyone will already have said this, but I like to sleep.
Wait, I missed Caroline dropping in for tea?!
Can you remember when it was?
God she’s so quirky with her song choice 🥹
It’s a serious problem for her brand because “young single mum turns creative to feed toddler” vs “single middle aged coke head whose lost parental responsibilities manages to feed cat” isn’t a wide niche marketing demographic
No comment made by me.
What about some Prince?I can claim that a few threads back!
SB doesn't know mama's getting hot
At the Dulux shop
Doing something unholy
Grifty Little Get
I guess I should've known
By the way you placed your sideboard
That it wouldn't last
See, you're the kinda person that believes in makin' out once
Trap ‘em with a kid fast
I guess I must be dumb
'Cause you had a pocket full of ring-pulls
Thrifty! Some of them used
But it was Saturday night, I guess that makes it all right
And you say, "What have I got to lose?"
And honey, I say
Tweet your boring life
Baby, you're much too fast (Oh, oh)
Tweet your boring life
You need a grift that's gonna last
I guess I should've closed my eyes
When you took me to the kitchen where the slopping runs free
'Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the dishes
And the plates that were laid before me
Believe it or not, I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough (Middle) class
But it was Saturday night, I guess that makes it all right
And you say: “You want breathing to stop, yes?”
Oh yeah
God she is tedious. She could have picked any lyric about anything the human mind can imagine and she goes for Billy Bragg doing the administration of human affairs. Honestly someone should do a song about poors, bins and dog tit. Jack would explode with excitement.
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