Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn

[Tiffany Dupes]

Can anyone help me with JackMaffs?
374x the cost of a bottle and a half of whiskey = a tiny travelling budget for the north of Scotland?

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

"Scotland has my heart"

Scotland doesn't want your manky old body parts, Jack. Why don't you piss off and annoy the French with le klaxon.

My Old Harold’s Maman would blockade the channel ports and pull the tumbrils herself (while looking effortlessly chic, damn her ) before allowing Jack to pollute her sacred land.

 

[MooBelle]

I hope the kid has at some point said, "listen mum, if me living with you is going to be such a bother, I'm happy to carry on living at my dad's, and when I *do* spend the night here. I'll kip on the settee, no real hardship- plus I'll just keep all my stuff at my house too"

You can just imagine her nasal honk, martyring herself can't you? "Oh son, *I'll* sleep out here so you are comfy in a proper bed"

twit

I think you're right, except for the last sentence.
it would be more like 'well I'll show you for embarrassing me by saying stuff like this in front of your father. I'll post to my 500k followers what an ungrateful brat you are and what a wonderful mother I am'

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I'm not really paying 100% attention to the thread, so forgive me for this, but..

She's wittering about handing in her notice.
Earlier she mentioned packing and unpacking and not having a firm move in date. Something about it being coming weeks etc.

But didn't that Positive News Article reporting waste of space mention jack's new apartment as if he were there or in it or had seen it etc etc?

 

[CarmenGhia]

I hope the kid has at some point said, "listen mum, if me living with you is going to be such a bother, I'm happy to carry on living at my dad's, and when I *do* spend the night here. I'll kip on the settee, no real hardship- plus I'll just keep all my stuff at my house too"

You can just imagine her nasal honk, martyring herself can't you? "Oh son, *I'll* sleep out here so you are comfy in a proper bed"

twit

Or why not get a sofabed? I used to have a brilliant one that folded out into a really big bed. Nice for lying in front of the TV too.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Oh my bleeping GOD.

If she doesn't stop with this 'you should try it' tit, as though she's some sort of shining example of redemption or whatever, I will blow a gasket. Jack, you haven't changed, you're still the same raging narc as you've ever been and stop telling people to follow your terrible example.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Hi Jack thread. Just wondering if any of you could recommend a podcast to get me up to speed on the goings on in Jack Monroe’s endless grift? I was fooled into supporting her years ago and sorely regret it. Unfollowed and blocked her on all media but would kind of like an update to listen to. I downloaded ten mins of an American podcast about her but you had to pay to listen to more. Any free or UK options out there?

Thanks!

The best thing you can do is read the wiki

 

[ScarlettOHaha]

I'm actually going to be physically sick.

Me too, reading this ludicrous crap just makes me annoyed and bemused.
It really does remind me of the few times I’ve played in the snow and talked complete gushing bollocks at strangers in a club for hours and on the way home told my friends I’ve had the greatest conversation and ideas, next morning realised I was a total bore.
Mind you, being in a snowstorm WOULD explain her ingredient choices in her dreadful slops.

 

[Terrible]

I’m sitting on my hands while no one asks her how her son loved living with a SEVERE alcoholic chaotic drug-addled etc sex worker.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Yeah but most of us don’t do it on Twitter to our generous pinch of followers whilst signposting to our paypals, pal.

 

[Dogmuck]

I understand why we think she's buying rather than renting. She's very unsubtly been hinting at that for ages (this move is so specially special, first secure home ever for SB, been preparing her whole life, allowed to paint it bright colours, blah, blah, blah), but why do we think it's 2 bed rather than the 1 bed she keeps saying?

Is it just because she lies about everything or have I missed some hints that it's bigger than she's admitting to?

We don’t know anything of the purchase or size at all for sure, but what we DO know is that she’s a lying grifter.

Imagine this, you’ve lived for 4 years in a very spenny bungahouse in one of the finest parts of Southend. You’ve told your half a million Scottish followers that it cost £1600 rent and then told the Guardian it costs well over £3k a month to run without gas or electric. You’ve continually told everyone how poor you are, that you live on £20 a week shopping, you’ve rattled your tip jar, you’ve basically begged for your entire decade of fame. So how’s it gonna look when you buy a nice two (or who knows even 3/4/5 bedroom) house/flat?

So instead you decide that you’re going to pretend you’re sleeping on the sofa in your massive family home, for 6 months, in preparation for the downsizing into your smol one bedroom flat (the only smaller she could have gone is a studio flat but that might prove tricky to blag once you’ve started with your usual over sharing) that you do/don’t know that you’re getting, (but have ordered an online delivery of food to be delivered to that flat 3 weeks before you’ve moved in) because bloody Tory landlords all want her dead.

You have to ask yourself the question, how many landlords would be happy to give over their one bedroom flat to a smol pixie, a string bean of a teen, a massive puppy dog and a rather large cat? Answer - none.

She’s been bread crumbing about buying for months and her friend “spaniel friend” confirmed Jack was “buying”

So we’ve reasonably concluded she’s buying.

Then you have to think, one bed flat with an almost 13 year old son and not to mention the animals, Cotswolds and menagerie? Only way that could happen is if her son, doesn’t live with her and has no possessions. We don’t think her son lives with her full time but ~irregardless~ Jack is a massive bell end and squeezing her over inflated ego into a one bed flat is impossible.

So we can reasonably conclude the property she is buying has more than one bed.

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk

 

[houseofhoop]

I hope the kid has at some point said, "listen mum, if me living with you is going to be such a bother, I'm happy to carry on living at my dad's, and when I *do* spend the night here. I'll kip on the settee, no real hardship- plus I'll just keep all my stuff at my house too"

You can just imagine her nasal honk, martyring herself can't you? "Oh son, *I'll* sleep out here so you are comfy in a proper bed"

twit

Very very typical of a narc. And will never shut up about it, and tell all they meet about the sacrifices they’ve made (in jacks world that’s the whole of twitter)

 

[HotesTilaire]

She has made threats against the Scottish people. I call upon the moderate English to do something about this extremist in their midst.

The People’s Republic of Liverpool supports you.
Sadly, the red shite in our republic invited her in. There’s still a lingering honk of fauxialism she left behind.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

She also trapped you into a 2 year lease you couldn't afford. According to you.

View attachment 1877980

Has Jack forgotten that WE HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

And imposed unreasonable conditions such as no overnight guests

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Oh jeez. A Jack Monroe hamper of goodies. " Don't you open that trap dooor"

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Love a bit of bono and the gang...


See the stoney look in your eyes
See every face you post online
We see your curtain onesie(s)

Sleight of hand and crock of tit, in a bath of coins she thinks she's it
And we wait for chaos

We wait for "recipes"
We wait for sales stats

Through the threads, we fear book tours
You talk it up but what a bore
Dog groomers waiting for you
What's up with you
What's up with you now, ah, ah
Dog can't see
Why's it all about you
And you give your chances away
And you give bad tips away
And you give
And you give
And you give opportunities away
Your refunds stalled
Patreon not paused, she got them with
No shop savings codes and
None of the postcards
...

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Just visiting from the past to bump this

 

[Captainmouse]

Salt lamps are dangerous to dogs and cats. They like to lick them and that results in salt poisoning.

Like she cares, house with lilies

 

[MissMarple10]

View attachment 1877946

Yes and yet you still rattled your tip jar, pushed your Patreon and told massive whoppers you penis toed fraud.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Can someone put her face on this? Because she is actually the worst person in the world.

Sorry for my language earlier but she is grating my mushrooms something awful tonight.