Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

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Thank(space)you - I wasn’t sure of that reference as “parmentier” doesn’t come up searching her Twitter. It’s even got exactly the same sprig of rosemary FFS! 🤣
It's featured in the wiki fake recipes dear heart

 
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I want to make a joke about this being the closest either of us will get to a husband this year but I'm too tired, send espressos/Monsteros, someone will have to be witty on my behalf!
Not a manual for jacking off a horse! OMG slopbot is spoiling us 😂
 
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Are they taking the bleeping piss?

Edit: You need to register to read the article in the link.

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Sorry but it’s genuinely hilarious that Jack, every PR person’s nightmare, would be featured here. Someone is pushing very hard behind the scenes to claw back a scrap of legitimacy, because you can guarantee it’s not PR professionals who admire what she does.
 
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Pineapples on a Jack thread is so fitting for me. As I hate them. They are misleading and watching them grow for three years (obviously sped up in a Timelapse) makes me cringe and rage. I feel conned by every pineapple related memory I have.

I believed for 24 years that they grew on trees. Like the same trees coconuts grow on (palm?) but with pineapples there instead of coconuts.
I also believed they were growing in Hawaii.

WHY is it called a Hawaiian pizza? That’s ham and pineapple. last time I checked ham isn’t unique to hawaii, So I assumed the pineapple was.

also, in an episode of Sabrina the teenage witch I remember from being a child, Sabrina turns Libby into a pineapple and when she comes back she says “you sent me somewhere, is was small and smelled like Hawaii”.

I also have a memory of one of my sims, on the sims castaway, climbing a tree that looked like a coconut tree and coming back down with a pineapple, but I may be remembering incorrectly on that one. WARNED.

The outside of them literally looks like it goes with the bark on a palm tree. It matches. It would look right there. Where is does not look right, is growing out of the bleeping ground somewhere in Africa (or anywhere else if it’s in the ground). Literally, rows of them, in a field. I was horrified when I learned this. I can’t even describe the feeling I got when I saw pictures of them growing out of the ground. I cannot look at them anymore. I’ve never recovered. My friends think my reactions to them are hilarious, one particular friend absolutely dies laughing. She sent me a video of someone who had made Pinecone jam with little pinecones hoping to recreate some of my reactions to pineapples earlier, but it didn’t bother me I just thought it was weird.
Hahaha, imagine not knowing that pineapples don't grow on trees.



I am FLABBERGASTED.

bo-lorne-ese 🥴
Wasn't there also some kind of rank-looking crab soufflé/fritatta hybrid?
 
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I have a teeny bit of gossip. A friend of mine has a relative who is reasonably well known in journalism/media/food writing circles. Has her own Wikipedia page etc.

Anyway, I learned recently that JM had come up in conversation between said friend and her relative; the relative had commissioned Jack to do some kind of work and described her as a complete nightmare to work with. Unreliable, bad tempered, and treated people horribly. I’m trying to softly, gently get more information (and encouraging my friend to become a Frau too!).
 
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I have a teeny bit of gossip. A friend of mine has a relative who is reasonably well known in journalism/media/food writing circles. Has her own Wikipedia page etc.

Anyway, I learned recently that JM had come up in conversation between said friend and her relative; the relative had commissioned Jack to do some kind of work and described her as a complete nightmare to work with. Unreliable, bad tempered, and treated people horribly. I’m trying to softly, gently get more information (and encouraging my friend to become a Frau too!).
I love how this is said like it's a shock when someone confirms what she's like, when it is literally every review anyone who has worked with her has ever said. She will never, ever change. Prepare for strep A Jack this weekend, a couple of days off Twitter to worry the FM's, and a hospital bed selfie holding hands with SB with the little wrist thing on him.
 
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Thankspaceyou all for Green Shield Stamp and Tiger Token (yay!) memories. I am going to interrogate the old man and ask him where my early 90s petrol station transistor radio went.

Way behind, yet again, as my Harold has started to get sniffy about me grunking while Corrie is on. Monster. I'm going to cook Monroe slop for the rest of the week just in spite.
On the haunted bird app there is an excellent thread that a journo from the I paper has put together about the huge increase in court orders issued for forcible entry to properties to have fuel prepayment meters fitted where residents have fallen into arrears. As we know these cost far more than billed units of power- or at least they did when I had one in the last flat before we moved into our crappy bungalow with a second floor and loft. Along with poor Awaab Ishak, the child poverty rate increase, cost of living crisis and the change to UC payments in the last budget, this is yet another subject that our esteemed pov campaigner has remained silent on. It's almost as though she isn't *actually* a poverty campaigner at all and just a self-serving shithouse. Makes you think Fraus. It really makes you think.
 
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swap for the fish necklace?
Deal, if only I hadn't chucked the matching earrings I used to wear as an extremely cool tween Goth though! Maybe I'll just take a leaf out of Jack's book and craft some to help procrastinate on anything actually important, whilst saving that tasty tasty fishy oil for... reasons that I believe have yet to be disclosed.
 
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I have a teeny bit of gossip. A friend of mine has a relative who is reasonably well known in journalism/media/food writing circles. Has her own Wikipedia page etc.

Anyway, I learned recently that JM had come up in conversation between said friend and her relative; the relative had commissioned Jack to do some kind of work and described her as a complete nightmare to work with. Unreliable, bad tempered, and treated people horribly. I’m trying to softly, gently get more information (and encouraging my friend to become a Frau too!).
No, no, no. Your friend has got it all wrong.

Jack is a dream to work with. Polite, does her own washing up, over-delivers, stated at bright lights in child-like awe, sends thank-you tweets. Unless they are thinking of Sad Jack who threw books and chairs at peop!e. But that wasn't her fault.
 
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They certainly don't grow like this, ridiculous

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No way, I absolutely SHAN'T believe this, that's either a set up to fool gullible Brits (like spaghetti trees) or these pineapples are being factory farmed, free range pineapples are probably totally different and much more expensive, and the ones used for pineapple leather will need better food massages and stuff. I will die on this spiky hill.
 
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This morning as I was perusing the aisles of my local Home Bargains (fancy) they were softly, gently playing a rather awkward country version of Landslide. The slightly wobbly female drawl literally stopped me in my tracks. Terrible.
 
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