Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[Sensible Susan]

Is that related the there being erectile tissue in the nose? I know someone who sneezes when they have a mucky thought.

Spoiler: Did a SWEARY

duck knows

 

[Mr Krabs]

Have we ever seen Ann and Jack in the same room? Ann is only 5'1"

Ann actually got on Strictly.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Imagine Jack, Ann Widdecombe and Janet Street-Porter all wobbly honking together in the same confined space.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Right, whilst it's still quiet, I want to throw tit at her smol pixie schtick. I've always thought it was a lie, and she's about average at 5ft 6. Jack cannot be average at anything though and needs to be special and unique in all endeavours of life.

M'luds and Frau's, I present my FACTS evidence.

Spoiler: Exhibit One

View attachment 1625091


Here is Jack and Pals at the Rainbow Honours award. Jack is stood in front of 6ft 2 Julien Clary. Julien is slightly leaning, so we can guess-timate that Julien is probably around 6ft in this picture.

Spoiler: Exhibit Two

View attachment 1625096

Here is a second image from the same event. Can you see that our Jackie is wearing flat loafers? Julien was also in flats. Claire Sweeney is reported at 5ft 8 tall, and is wearing heels in this picture. Funnily enough her heels are about 6in tall. Look at their height difference and thus I present my case that Jack is around 5ft 6. No smol pixie, just Lil Miss Average. Boo, I guess.

The way she talks about her height SO BLOODY OFTEN makes it sound deeply false to me, too.

It made up about a third of her Tinder profile - some guff about being 5' 1.7" (who uses decimals when talking about feet and inches?! why not use cm if you want to be that precise?), followed by something like "and I never ever wear heels so if you're into tiny wee pocket rockets, I'm the perfect girl for you". Bleugh.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Would love her take on Lobster a la Riseholme….

'Take two hen lobsters, or two tins of sardines, or mackerel (you could use chicken if you prefer)...'

This has made my day.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Have we ever seen Ann and Jack in the same room? Ann is only 5'1"

I could see her growing into Ann.

While looking for an picture, I learnt that Ann Widdecombe is a virgin. You really do learn something new every day.

 

[kirkvanhouten]

What is going on with her voice? Nasally, vacant, slow. Reminds me of the Kerry Katona interview

 

[Geetbo]

While looking for an picture, I learnt that Ann Widdecombe is a virgin.

Not the most shocking news I've ever heard dear heart x

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wow, stellar editing there Bluebird. Personally I don't want to think about ovaries, arteries or Elvis dying on the toilet when I'm making dinner so that's a brave decision to leave that in.

I think she’s put some kind of hex on her therapist publisher or threatened her with anchovy pasta and corguettes. I have no other way to explain the fawning and just downright enabling that Tonkinson woman does. (This is from that bookseller article yesterday)

 

[Formal Chicken]

This picture…. Laughed so hard I started choking.

Then started to worry, is this how I go? Laughing at a potato head? I live alone so it’ll take a few days to find me and everyone will be forever wondering why I was looking at mrs potato head.

 

[Bugger13]

Imagine Jack, Ann Widdecombe and Janet Street-Porter all wobbly honking together in the same confined space.

Bloody hell, that’s worthy of Guantanamo

 

[SpudYouHate]

Jack is much more right wing than Ann though.

But Jack DOES seem to have become considerably more Christian lately... Makes ya think...

 

[House of Carbonara]

Completed it mate! Went in August for a week and loved it, giggled like a ninny as I sat in her actual giardano segreto. Go well, pal.

Aaaah jealous!! Happy for you though. It's deffo on my list for next year, although I haven't convinced Mr. HoC to read the books as yet, so he doesn't quite understand my undying love for Lucia.

 

[HotesTilaire]

But she's been campaigning for UBI for over a decade...according to her...

Why would Jack campaign for UBI? Imagine the government said ok, let’s set UBI at the rate of the UK average income, £2k per month.
That’s less than Jack gets from Patreon alone, and she has to use solar powered garden lights indoors and boil soap. Conclusion- Jack has already proved that UBI doesn’t work because she’s gifted that amount monthly for no return, and it’s not enough for her to live on.

 

[StatusWoe]

Mine just honks recites this -

View attachment 1624802

For newer frauen, yes this is from one of her published books.

No!! Tell me it's from the parody account.

Just what everyone wants to think about when they're cooking - Elvis on the toilet, an overpowering smell and Jack Monroe's groaning ovaries. She wants people to stop eating, doesn't she?

Also, I got a Vlad Ad. I'll leave it here without comment.

 

[moldwarp]

I think she’s put some kind of hex on her therapist publisher or threatened her with anchovy pasta and corguettes. I have no other way to explain the fawning and just downright enabling that Tonkinson woman does. (This is from that bookseller article yesterday)

View attachment 1625126

Ain’t nobody planning a revolution on 400 calories worth of rinsed spaghetti hoops and zero protein.

 

[Cornelia Hosendove]

Fraus, I have just measured my forehead to try & determine the difference in height between Jack & Lindsey Corkhill. My previous tattle related 'WTF are you doing??' was washing my hair one handed to determine that she didn't need to have those 'plaits' put in. These are symptoms of the group psychosis aren't they? And my google history is so bizarre, I looked up all the job requirements & person specifications for being a fire service contact centre worker yesterday.
ps did i mention my urgent deadline today?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Not the most shocking news I've ever heard dear heart x

Well no, but politicians do seem to get more than their deserved share of action usually? I mean in terms of sexual appeal, she's probably on a par with Prescott, and that didn't hinder him .

 

[Geetbo]

Well no, but politicians do seem to get more than their deserved share of action usually? I mean in terms of sexual appeal, she's probably on a par with Prescott, and that didn't hinder him .

Well yes - although I'm now imagining Prezza and Ann going at it in the speakers chair. Quick Jack - post a thot shot to cleanse my mind!

 

[Nurseali]

Well no, but politicians do seem to get more than their deserved share of action usually? I mean in terms of sexual appeal, she's probably on a par with Prescott, and that didn't hinder him .

She would never have sex without a ring on it.... I don't actually think she likes people very much