Tbf she does live rent-free in my head but it's a house of multiple occupancy and she's confined to the oubliette for most of the day.
Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Jack has also blocked the parody account.She's deleted the tweet telling everyone to report the parody account
She is pathetic in the true meaning of the word. What a laughable desperado.
Whats with the shirt? she looks like its a dating website profile pic and one of those ones where you really dont get what's on the menu.
I swear she asks Mammy E for help with stuff. I’m sure I read something once where she said her mum taught her you can just make risotto with long grain rice. Covering the hot water in the sink with a baking tray to stop it getting cold sounds like an old “cover the tin bath whilst you’re boiling kettles to fill it” tip of yesteryear. Jack has elevenerifed it by pretending poor people should risk their cotton/poly mix sheets by putting greasy hot metal next to them to “warm the bed”
I keep her in my orangery
Was that only after realising that by tagging the parody account in, they could actually answer back, or was it after losing another 10k now enlightened followers & pointing them & others straight to her nemesis who is largely doing an excellent job of the unexpected spotlight
Good Lord that is some poor editing. Why has she resized her whole head????Her new twitter profile pic looks like something from MySpace, if it was her dating profile she'd be accused of catfishing.
Jack lives rent-free in my head, I am her landlord
The parody account was just her 'in' to reactivate. It's just sad really how desperate she is to be on Twitter
Yes, it's like Death by (Bad) Photoshop.
Disclaimer: not a literal death, obvs. You'd think by now she'd know how to use it.
1) Love the llamaStill off Twitter! Wow. Is this going to be a record? Will she ever come back?
I was thinking about that bizarre IG post where she talks about SB laughing at her sexy pictures.
My mum brought out old photos of a trip we took to the farm where we got spat on by an angry llama. That llama was the Jack Monroe of the animal world, exhibiting unprovoked hostility and inexplicable teeth, and it must have known I'd become a future frau. Anyway, I think that's the sort of thing SB might find funny - shared memories of silly things.
This is not the llama, but it's near enough. In fact it looks a bit like an interchangeable alpaca?
View attachment 1621927
2) Yes I do think she enjoys the negative as much, if not more than her positive responses. She loves perceived injury and is incredibly combative. I think she’s too easily influenced and not genuine enough to find a happy home on Insta. If you are going to be the one doing the influencing your core interest has to be solid-flitting from cabinets to slop recipes to selfies is fine on your personal but a pro account has to be clean, pleasant to scan through, coherent boards all telling a larger story etc. I have 3-one for family pics and nonsense, one for garden plants/food/things I make and one for the dog. The dog’s page is by far the most popular and took off the fastest-it’s crazy and it would be so easy to monetise in some way but I have no interest in doing that. The people who comment on the pics and follow are so sweet and dog-loving and the thing I think distinguishes most are their comments and the advice you get, how it’s phrased and how people disagree there. It’s much gentler and people are quicker to immediately block anyone ruining the vibe. Her replies are too FB/Twitter aggro. Insta is the sweet summer child of SM and her angry, let me BREATHE style of posting doesn’t fly there.
Fraus, be happy for me. I’ve reached the point of enlightenment where I saw the tweet had gone and laughed for a good long minute. I needed that!
Ah yeah this isn’t going to work. Your Twitter squigs like the hellsite Jack. You’re a fairly big noise there. You’re gonna get crushed on Insta and they’ll all get blocked and reported for their threatening posts and flying monkey behaviour. You’ll be everyone’s Story about what a twit you are. Start practising your Tik-Tok skills or your next stop will be Trump’s Truth Social.
I keep her in the bin, where she belongs. She has plenty to eat as we make sure there are a few scraps in there. I'm sure she can make a picnic from old teabags, (sorry ninnies but milk is vile
so all your tea talk in the last thread made me) egg shells and...actually, that's it. We don't have any food waste 'cause I'm good like that. Send me patreon, paypal and book offers, pronto.Now duck off.
The sculptor asked not to be identified. The winner modified the bust by hollowing out the nose and using it as a stashbox. When SaffronWalken pcso's popped in for a welfare check, the winner claimed the bust was full of caster sugar, made everyone a cuppa, and none of them was ever heard from again.
I used to work at one of his restaurants
There were some dirty af rumours about him involving very young serving staff. Shan’t go into it further!
I know we've done James Bond now but I was behind and want to play:
Slop of Solace
Slopfinger
The World is not Twitter
The Squigs Who Loved Me
Live and LetME BREATHE YOU ALL WANT ME TO Die*
*I do not at all want Jack to die. A+ return to chaos today.
Slop of Solace
Slopfinger
The World is not Twitter
The Squigs Who Loved Me
Live and Let
*I do not at all want Jack to die. A+ return to chaos today.
BIB thread title nomination
(I know it’s a little early please don’t ground me)- Status