Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[HotesTilaire]

They’ve been jumping up and down quite a bit lately, mirroring the level of smol pixie mania in her tweets. Makes you think.

Waving hello as I return after seeing off that real life JM I mentioned in a previous thread. Their grift has come to light and they are off to find a new mark. Good luck to them and thank you to this thread for teaching me all about the need for receipts!

Oooh do you want to spill unrinsed beans?

How could she reach the spatulas etc when she’s cooking? I’m ridiculously tall and I think I’d struggle, she’d need a damn cherry picker.
is this actually someone else’s kitchen? Make it make sense!

View attachment 1573835

Don’t worry, she doesn’t cook

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

How could she reach the spatulas etc when she’s cooking? I’m ridiculously tall and I think I’d struggle, she’d need a damn cherry picker.
is this actually someone else’s kitchen? Make it make sense!

View attachment 1573835

I'm about Jack's height and I would only be able to reach those with the aid of my handy folding stool. Stuff I use regularly would never be up there, I have a utensils holder on the counter where I can reach stuff without braining myself with a ladle.

 

[Geetbo]

Me too, though I'm in central Spain (Extremadura) away from the coast where it is cloudy and hot. Trying to keep up here as I don't want to fall too far behind, but sitting on my phone reading about the smol pixie would be a bit rude. I keep trying to do sneaky reads when no-one is looking.

I could say that I wish I wish I was home contributing to the discussion, but that would be a lie. I love it here. Just off out for tapas and some vino tinto. Adiós cábala.

ETA I can hardly wait for the haircut pictures. I can imagine they will be dreadful.

I’m in Croatia. Funnily enough when I was doing my A Levels my Spanish exchange was to Caceres in Extremadura

I’ve just had a very speedy grunk, and have nothing to add except it must be so tiring for Jack being so much of a tragic bleep 24/7.

 

[definitelynotvlad]

I am sorry but I just cannot believe for a second that she has any business in America. She barely has a profile here. Her “job” has been a rentagob on talk radio or on 24hr rolling news - both always desperately needing faces/voices to fill 4 minutes. Her books have had diminishing returns. The Lorraine TV cookery slot was very quickly forgotten about. Her “appearances” at festivals are (when she turns up) in back rooms/corners, poorly attended and barely create a ripple on her own socials, never mind in general. And Twitter. This is not someone who is getting an American launch tour for a book that will be almost entirely irrelevant to the US market anyway.

Katie Hopkins is big in America these days, makes you think.

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick

Don't touch the pies
They'll make you sick

 

[sleepingsatellite]

Oooh do you want to spill unrinsed beans?


Don’t worry, she doesn’t cook

They’re a bit outing and more suited to another thread, but the classic signs were all there. ‘I’m interesting me’ with eyes darting from one side to another, huge dollop of insecurity all while painting a picture of their brilliance to those in their awe. There’s also that assumption that they can be diverse by association, much like JM spouting off about her younger foster sibling. There’s only so many people you can hurt along the way before you cross someone who’s not going to have any of it. And I’ll stop before I say too much! I have something I am saving for the Office Gossip thread though, it’s out of this world!

 

[DaisyJay]

I came across @beatthebudget on insta tonight. She does budget meals for herself (uni student) - 5 lunches for a fiver type thing, and does a meal plan for a £20 shop from our favourite smol pixie's supermarket -including a collab with them Plus her food looks good and varied and - hold on to your stetson hats - not sloppy

 

[FrankReagan]

Can I recommend a look at Thread 31 where Jack comes to Tattle. It's very good.

I read Thread 31 when I first starting looking on here and I’ve just had another look. It’s quite incredible.

I could easily get all ‘where were you when Kennedy was shot?’ with the senior members of the canal to ask what they thought when Jack showed up, especially when you saw her selfie, etc etc. And then when she refused to go. We shall just have to discuss it at court; please humour me then, dear Fraus & Herrs.

Anyway, a couple of Jack’s comments leapt out in relation to her current situation. Here they are.

Now anyone on here isn’t shocked at the contradictions, but it is truly bizarre. Moments like that make me feel sorry for her. If she can’t be honest especially with herself and keeps searching in vain for validation online, then she’s doomed to fail.

Then I remember the squig who was sending her a tenner out of their £69 (?) a week allowance and I don’t feel sorry any more. I feel angry.

 

[Just Lou]

Grunking again.

Spoiler: Naproxen merail

I see JM took Naproxen for a SORE THROAT?! She must have a steel stomach. I am prescribed it, rarely take it. I've had to this evening (on a full stomach and I take omeprazole every day just in case I need to take Naproxen) and now I have a dodgy tummy to accompany the back pain

 

[Grizzlybear]

I read Thread 31 when I first starting looking on here and I’ve just had another look. It’s quite incredible.

I could easily get all ‘where were you when Kennedy was shot?’ with the senior members of the canal to ask what they thought when Jack showed up, especially when you saw her selfie, etc etc. And then when she refused to go. We shall just have to discuss it at court; please humour me then, dear Fraus & Herrs.

Jack showing up was just soooo inevitable, especially her selfie. she can never resist weighing in on her specialist subject - herself. It was also a deeply weird time in general As dear @Geetbo says, she is a tragic bleep. When she wouldn’t leave after her AHA moment I had to tap out

 

[jenny2603]

I read Thread 31 when I first starting looking on here and I’ve just had another look. It’s quite incredible.

I could easily get all ‘where were you when Kennedy was shot?’ with the senior members of the canal to ask what they thought when Jack showed up, especially when you saw her selfie, etc etc. And then when she refused to go. We shall just have to discuss it at court; please humour me then, dear Fraus & Herrs.

Anyway, a couple of Jack’s comments leapt out in relation to her current situation. Here they are.

View attachment 1573865

View attachment 1573867

Now anyone on here isn’t shocked at the contradictions, but it is truly bizarre. Moments like that make me feel sorry for her. If she can’t be honest especially with herself and keeps searching in vain for validation online, then she’s doomed to fail.

Then I remember the squig who was sending her a tenner out of their £69 (?) a week allowance and I don’t feel sorry any more. I feel angry.

Agree, if it was just her daft middle class fan club subsidising her it would be quite funny but from time to time you do see people who appear genuinely poor and vulnerable sucked in and it's enraging. I really don't think she set out to be a grifter but she's taken to it like a duck to water.

 

[Captainmouse]

I can’t think of a job she can do. The only thing I think could work is a columnist where she whines about her life and even then she’d strop off when the subs cut her ludicrous prose

I reckon with some intense training, she might manage envelope stuffing, or box taping, but it just a might

 

[DrtCrl]

Not sure if this was spotted...

Under the gig photo on Insta.
View attachment 1571996


ETA
View attachment 1572000

I went on Insta for a little peek and I’d completely forgotten that the hammock shot existed, and it’s just absolutely ridiculous on every level isn’t it?!

 

[sleepingsatellite]

I came across @beatthebudget on insta tonight. She does budget meals for herself (uni student) - 5 lunches for a fiver type thing, and does a meal plan for a £20 shop from our favourite smol pixie's supermarket -including a collab with them Plus her food looks good and varied and - hold on to your stetson hats - not sloppy

Me too! I love her work!

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Popping in from a few pages back to say this. Why would this ungrateful moron fear motherhood when her parents were considered to be such good eggs and responsible guardians that they were allowed to foster scads of children? Every time I read some maudlin screed of hers I get the RAEG. She is such a weasley scrotbag, please can some one cancel her now permanently for all of her many egregious misdeeds? Please?

Jack quote from the Grauniad: ‘I always feared motherhood; growing up in a household where foster children came and went in a revolving door of trauma and disarray, I was continually petrified that I would never be able to be a proper mother to my son.

 

[FlashBoof]

Katie Hopkins is big in America these days, makes you think.

Indeed - and probably coining in more than the pixie pest and her Patreon. Isn’t she popular with the Trumpist crowds though? I just can’t see how she would be marketable over there. She isn’t good looking enough, even with her enhancements (although that new picture is a bit Midwest mum, I suppose) and she isn’t clever/witty/sharp/funny enough or bursting with a personality that’s marketable. It would be car crash of epic proportions….

…second thought - I hope she is going to america!

 

[BlendedSlop]

I somehow get the feeling this quote isn't going to age well.

She's going to have to do a massive chaos to bring in some rubberneckers. I can't wait.

If it's Royal Funeral related I might actually expire.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Can I recommend a look at Thread 31 where Jack comes to Tattle. It's very good.

Oh it’s class.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Wowzers, Spud, this is 100% commitment to the cause, right here.
I salute you (but cba to listen myself, obvs)

I was bored working and curious as to what fantasy she'd spin, but alas, Fraus, I wasn't allowed in.

 

[FlashBoof]

In Jacks “Likes”. In reply to a “I love @bootstrapcooks books” tweet.

>Insert Simpsons “Pray For Mojo” gif here pls!