Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[House of Carbonara]

Liz Jones has done well out of that so there will always be a market for it.

Excellent, EXCELLENT point! I used to read her weekly column years (and years) ago, because it was like watching a car crash in slow motion...
I'm not even sorry.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The pharmacist probably said something like "well I suppose it could be something like laryngitis, best book a doctors appointment to get it checked out" and she took that as gospel

Either that or she did one of those online symptom checkers. Surely, as a grown woman, she wouldn't seek a doctor appointment for a sore throat? Especially an out of hours one. She's pathetic if she did.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

A generally sickly bunny. What bleeping adult bleeping human being describes themselves like that. Oh I'm a poorly lickle wabbit.

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin

 

[GrannyOgg]

A generally sickly bunny. What bleeping adult bleeping human being describes themselves like that. Oh I'm a poorly lickle wabbit.

The Violet Elizabeth Bott of Activism

 

[Nonah]

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

View attachment 1573629
I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin

That. Is not. A. Stetson.

 

[Belgian Bun]

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

View attachment 1573629
I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin

VOMIT EMOTICON

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

View attachment 1573629
I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin

I think I've triangulated that hat - £120 leather newsboy by Stetson?

I thought you were on the bones of your arse, Jack? Nobody's going to buy a second-hand hat off you once it's been sat on your unwashed head.

 

[Belgian Bun]

Excellent, EXCELLENT point! I used to read her weekly column years (and years) ago, because it was like watching a car crash in slow motion...
I'm not even sorry.

I still do, though it gives me nasty feeling in my poor ickle bunny tummy.

 

[Hollaaa]

That. Is not. A. Stetson.

A pigskin one, no less!

 

[Mr Krabs]

here you go…
View attachment 1573606

Love a bit of Juxtaposition Jack.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

That. Is not. A. Stetson.

Stetson don't just make the hats you think of as stetsons.

 

[Captainmouse]

I can imagine her version of Mrs Hinch Homeware at Tesco….

Jack Nouveau-Riche (nee Monroe) at Waitrose:

- Mint, Vanilla, Brie & Rosemary scented candles
- Heart wall plaque with ‘Softly, Gently, Forensically’
- Recipe card holder (empty)
- Black denim apron ‘Top Slop’
- 5kg marble rolling pin ‘go well’ logo

We don’t want her tainting Waitrose, thank you very much, bung her back to Asda

 

[Nonah]

Stetson don't just make the hats you think of as stetsons.

View attachment 1573674

Ooh! I love facts!

 

[FrankReagan]

Ooh! I love facts!

BIB - things you’ll never hear Jack say

 

[FlashBoof]

It’s so cute seeing all the new people incredulous over Jacks nonsense like we have been for two years. It’s easy to forget how we felt in those early weeks and months of digging, uncovering, working out and agape at things like designer crockery/eBay auctions/ hats/scarves/dresses/girlfriends/…lies/contradictions/embellishments…and the way people are coming to the same conclusions we have been making since about thread 6! Long may it continue!

 

[Captainmouse]

100g of sugar I feel diabetic just reading that

Plus honey

 

[House of Carbonara]

I'm a shallow person to notice this but the kettle in the first link is an electric one. If you look closely you can see the cable, it's been plunked on top of the hob to look fancier.

I know I should feel sorry for her, but I find it really hard. Possibly because the same drama/salvation scenario has been played out for the world to see many times, so it really feels like boy cries wolf - again. I don't wish her harm, but it's about time she does a good dose of growing up.

 

[HotesTilaire]

BIB - things you’ll never hear Jack say

I love facts is actually a direct quote from the tricksy pixie

 

[MancBee]

I am indeed on holiday. I have a sunburned upper arsecheek.

I cannot wait to return to catch up with what the head has been doing. I’ve seen her Twitter updates which have given me a flavour.

Me too, though I'm in central Spain (Extremadura) away from the coast where it is cloudy and hot. Trying to keep up here as I don't want to fall too far behind, but sitting on my phone reading about the smol pixie would be a bit rude. I keep trying to do sneaky reads when no-one is looking.

I could say that I wish I wish I was home contributing to the discussion, but that would be a lie. I love it here. Just off out for tapas and some vino tinto. Adiós cábala.

ETA I can hardly wait for the haircut pictures. I can imagine they will be dreadful.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I love facts is actually a direct quote from the tricksy pixie

Just like the origin story and much else she spouts, I think this applies perfectly.