Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

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Dogmuck

Dogmuck

Winning thread title, words from a squig supplied by me 🙇‍♀️ nominated by @LeftoverCoffee. Congratulations your prize is the remaining chicken 🐔 bacon 🥓 black pudding 🩸 prune 💩 carrot 🥕 and celery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Pie - named in your honour
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In the last thread Jack:

Wanted to throw a pie at the new king

Went to the pharmacy for an ouchy throat and was told to SHUT UP go on complete vocal rest and gaggle loads of stuff plus sage tea. She was WARNED because of her unsustainable workload.

Surprised even her very dear irl friend that she’d met the queen a few times

Had her son, his dog and his LFC trackie top over for the day.

Took them to Wilco

Breadcrumbed about her lodger who she’s not allowed to have but has been there for 9 months.

Did some top tier trolling with her bodyguard

That’s it from me please feel free to add to the recap.

NEWBIES - please read the Wiki accessed by the pink button at the top of the threadit will help you understand sooo much.

Title nomination towards the end with THREAD TITLE NOM to make it easier to find and no swears please.
 
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MaineCoonMama

MaineCoonMama

Jack has a new paramour, she's referring to him as her 'better half' (BH? Bald head? Hhnnngghh)
Just as well, OH will always be Old Harold.
Go well, tender ones.
 
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Boyo

Boyo

Have to drag this through from the last thread too. Seriously, what is the grey bit?? 🤢

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fauxpoor

fauxpoor

Saturday night special...waiting for GrannyOgg to drop the latest bombshell..
 
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Lazarus

Lazarus

New thread - first timer so I hope this goes ok.

I’ve been BUSY self diagnosing peri menopause in myself so the recap is brief though I’m sure others will support.
• Jack’s BRADyguard looks like a Camembert cheese.
• She has symptoms which resemble covid but it can’t be covid because she tests regularly due to being in close contact with CEV people.
• She went to a concert, and travelled to Bristol, but if she does have covid she’s caught it from SB’s school which is massive.
• When all other concerts and events were cancelled due to the passing of her majesty the Queen, Jack still managed to get out to see Arcade Fire, when others including the support act cancelled due to the singer being outed as a sex pest.
• She’s now sleeping in a library (quiet shagging at least), because she’s living as she will in her new place she’s moving into in 6 months time.
• Content ate the cable off the hoover meaning Jack and her crumbly ouchy shoulder had to manually sweep the carpet.
• Her, SB and an unnamed individual are eating chicken and prune pies. Jack’s oven is broken so I’m assuming these will be cooked on the gas radiator or steamed pudding style. Question: if the oven is broken indeed, how does she heat up her oven trays before bed?
 
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ForgettyBetty

ForgettyBetty

@Lazarus I was 45/6, (flood, flood, nada) hence my gp DID test to confirm meno rather than any other issue. She said mid to late 40s is getting more common vs previous generations early to mid50s norm Took three years to get onto hrt but it's a big help
 
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Bugger13

Bugger13

Dogmuck said:
Winning thread title, words from a squig supplied by me 🙇‍♀️ nominated by @LeftoverCoffee. Congratulations your prize is the remaining chicken 🐔 bacon 🥓 black pudding 🩸 prune 💩 carrot 🥕 and celery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Pie - named in your honour
View attachment 1569304

In the last thread Jack:

Wanted to throw a pie at the new king

Went to the pharmacy for an ouchy throat and was told to SHUT UP go on complete vocal rest and gaggle loads of stuff plus sage tea. She was WARNED because of her unsustainable workload.

Surprised even her very dear irl friend that she’d met the queen a few times

Had her son, his dog and his LFC trackie top over for the day.

Took them to Wilco

Breadcrumbed about her lodger who she’s not allowed to have but has been there for 9 months.

Did some top tier trolling with her bodyguard

That’s it from me please feel free to add to the recap.

NEWBIES - please read the Wiki accessed by the pink button at the top of the threadit will help you understand sooo much.

Title nomination towards the end with THREAD TITLE NOM to make it easier to find and no swears please.
Click to expand...
The ‘incredibly literal‘ is a bit worrying. I hope it isn’t Bigus Dickus from life of Brian. (BD)
 
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Jemadah

Jemadah

As if I needed yet another reason to dislike her, she goes and types "just text my housemate" when it should have been "just texted". No 1 pet peeve of mine. Don't @ me, I'M BUSY. Now duck off.
 
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MoistenedGussets

MoistenedGussets

I'm saying this because I know you'll all know what I mean and in the safe knowledge that you all know I'm not being offensive to anyone except... Well, you know.


This 'pie'
Screenshot_20220910-210252-01.jpeg

If your 7 year old kid came.rushing home with this pie they made.in Home economics, you'd be thrilled to pieces right?
"Aww Jack, you've even put your name on it and some stars"

If, however, someone you didn't know but was obviously over the age of 30.
If they proudly handed it to you... you'd be worried she'd been eating the wax crayons wouldn't you?
 
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Lazarus

Lazarus

@GrannyOgg no rush darl, but I don’t want to start the programme I’m about to watch until I’ve read your hotly anticipated post. 😃
 
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MM85

MM85

Of course Jack gets the most pastry, do we know if they've survived the "pie"?
 
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Dogmuck

Dogmuck

To add to the TLDR - we await @GrannyOgg’s deep dive into Jacks ~finances~

sorry I only skimmed the last thread I’ve been busy clearing my drains. Now fuxk off
 
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