Sweet baby jesus. I get up, do some chores, go and buy some raspberry canes and come back to this???? How, I mean I KNOW how, she's a grade A weaponised idiot but really? Does she ever sleep or is she some sort of bat? Bat Monroe? I cannot have the image of her bonking anywhere near my brain.....
Jack Monroe #379 She really has no idea just how much of an arsehole she really is. Quite the skill.
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
He's out buying burgers as we speak. Probably intending to leave a trail of them from Jack's doorstep to his sex dungeon. (Just want to clarify: Russ has previously tweeted about the sex dungeon; this thought didn't originate in my mind and I bear no responsibility for the nightmares it might cause.) If anyone wants to sue for trauma-related reasons - please direct lawyers to:
Russ @ Burger King
in Cheshire.
It's the thought of that big frozen face that's freaking me out. I can block the rest out but there's something unearthly about that.
"I'm going to let SB run my twitter account for a few days to earn some pocket money," and "trolls pick through my account to send horrible messages" don't really jive with live-tweeting your hookup, TBH.
SHe might as well charge. She could afford a bigger top up shop then....
Then it would be work and she'd have to be reliable and not do the absolute bleeping minimum
He can just plug it into the radiator. All energy sources are interchangeable, gas/water/electricity.
I’m having a delayed cringe reaction to the >600% increase in care costs that were infuriating when she found out she jumped to the same wrong conclusion as the recipient of the letter.
Imagine what I’ll be like in 2 weeks when the reality of the shagathon catches up with me.
Imagine what I’ll be like in 2 weeks when the reality of the shagathon catches up with me.
Id like to softly, gently ask that this sentence is never typed again. Thankyou xOh look at Russ there sliding in
I think almost everything has a grain of truth in it, and she thinks all she’s doing is adding the kind of harmless embellishment most people do to make stories more entertaining.
I genuinely think she doesn’t see the difference between Jane saying “a wasp flew in and scared the tit out of me, it was the size of a bloody rat!” and her embellishments and how they’re actually very different things because nobody thinks Jane actually tit herself or that the wasp was actually rat sized. The grift obviously also adds another layer to her stories, but something in her general perception just seems very off to me as does the level of defensiveness and digging further holes when she’s called out. ETA: the other example of this I couldn’t remember was when she got crappy about the car she’d been dropped off in, that it was navy (I think?) actually, whoever had said it was lying - when the point of the post had been that it was an expensive car.
I worked with someone with a similar perception on a lower scale and it was exhausting because they’d say one thing and claim they’d meant another and go on and on defending themselves, but we once did something to cover up a birthday surprise for a colleague and they were livid that we’d all “lied”and that was ok when they’d been called out for a lie that had actual consequences a few days earlier. It really didn’t seem to be some sort of concerted thing or even rules for thee and me, just an inability to see any nuance at all. That’s what Jack reminds me of.
Last edited:
Things people do on a bank holiday weekend:
- Catch up with family and friends
- Go on holiday
- Invite friends round for a barbecue
- Make progress on a DIY project
Things Jack Monroe does on a bank holiday weekend:
- Posts on Twitter 24/7
- Insults their mother and father by telling random strangers on the internet how terrible her childhood was
- Do some heroically incorrect maths about the power consumption of kitchen appliances
- Goes out for a midnight burger
- Catch up with family and friends
- Go on holiday
- Invite friends round for a barbecue
- Make progress on a DIY project
Things Jack Monroe does on a bank holiday weekend:
- Posts on Twitter 24/7
- Insults their mother and father by telling random strangers on the internet how terrible her childhood was
- Do some heroically incorrect maths about the power consumption of kitchen appliances
- Goes out for a midnight burger
Jack created such a chaos we've got swearing in the title!
And so it goes with the 24pcm squig. I have thoughts on this but I feel like there’s so much crossover Tattle and Twitter wise that I’m just going to see how this plays out.
No tit.
Attachments
GIVE IT SOME CRINGE!Oh look at Russ there sliding in
Oh frauen, I got to the sex tweets.
Her. son. reads. her. Twitter.
"Honeymoon period horn" - donate my corneas, that's me done.
Thing is, nothing wrong with a burger and a shag. But don't tweet about it! No one needs that on their timeline! Also, foreplay being described as "lots of snuggly hugs" has made me positively asexual. Sorry, Mr Owl, but I now have the sex drive of an amoeba.
Just stopping off to say thank(space)you for the reminder. And that I would never have known about or watched That Man's show but for Jack helpfully signposting me to it, she's an absolute angel.
I'm trying to brush my teeth, and just spat it everywhere
What a hideous mental image that brought up.
Tbf Jack must be in pretty good physical shape because it was only a few weeks ago that her heart had been both RIPPED OUT and SMASHED but it seems to have healed very nicely
- Status