- Notice
Sideboard Bob
VIP Member
MistyWindows
VIP Member
I did it
TA RA tatty bye!
I just want to assure everyone that minimum food was wasted (especially @TheDragonWithAFlagon) my sister ate all of it and I have some quotes from her too.
Let’s embark.
I used a little tin because they’re what I tend to buy, I also didn’t have any ‘dried cheese’ in as it’s not 1990. I used a tiny amount of Red Leicester instead.
So firstly, as many suspected, it was very hard to rinse off the sauce. You can see below how orange the pasta still was.
I had to get my hands in which felt like a violation if I’m honest.
The sauce was also very gloopy and hard to get down the plug hole.
Now the microwave (pronounced how Mom would), I thought the amount of time stated was WAY too long and it probably was. It was hissing and popping away like mad in there, as if it were trying to beg for me to put it out it’s misery.
It came out steaming and hotter than Satan’s bollocks.
I added a tiny bit of butter and my poor cheese, along with loads of pepper.
Finished product smelt terrible, but was actually much more intact than I expected!
The length of ‘cooking’ time kind of dried the pasta a bit? But it was definitely overheated and started to cool and got mushy very rapidly, the sauce definitely plays a role in keeping them warm.
Like I said I told my sister I’d buy her a brewskie if she ate it and she did without much trouble.
IN CONCLUSION:
It wasn’t awful, but was a waste of time. It just tasted like the sauce but was dryer, so if you have spaggy hoops and don’t like the sauce it’s pointless and you’re shit out of luck I’m afraid.
The pepper taste did cover up the tomato a bit, but you may as well just add pepper to the sauce
I usually put salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce in and herbs if I’m feeling FANCY, so there you go stupid poors I bet you never thought of that! *rattle tip jar*
Physically, I honestly think it was more effort than cooking dry pasta, yes it’s quicker, but still involves draining, pouring and stirring so what’s the fucking point?
ALSO I don’t know this but suspect a colander wouldn’t work, I think the hoops would slip through.
As my sister said “it’s… something”, it’s edible but pointless.
It also felt and looked depressing
when I summoned her upstairs she said that she was ‘looking around for some kind of dish, only to spot a little orange bowl of sadness’.
Let’s embark.
I used a little tin because they’re what I tend to buy, I also didn’t have any ‘dried cheese’ in as it’s not 1990. I used a tiny amount of Red Leicester instead.
So firstly, as many suspected, it was very hard to rinse off the sauce. You can see below how orange the pasta still was.
I had to get my hands in which felt like a violation if I’m honest.
The sauce was also very gloopy and hard to get down the plug hole.
Now the microwave (pronounced how Mom would), I thought the amount of time stated was WAY too long and it probably was. It was hissing and popping away like mad in there, as if it were trying to beg for me to put it out it’s misery.
It came out steaming and hotter than Satan’s bollocks.
I added a tiny bit of butter and my poor cheese, along with loads of pepper.
Finished product smelt terrible, but was actually much more intact than I expected!
The length of ‘cooking’ time kind of dried the pasta a bit? But it was definitely overheated and started to cool and got mushy very rapidly, the sauce definitely plays a role in keeping them warm.
Like I said I told my sister I’d buy her a brewskie if she ate it and she did without much trouble.
IN CONCLUSION:
It wasn’t awful, but was a waste of time. It just tasted like the sauce but was dryer, so if you have spaggy hoops and don’t like the sauce it’s pointless and you’re shit out of luck I’m afraid.
The pepper taste did cover up the tomato a bit, but you may as well just add pepper to the sauce
I usually put salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce in and herbs if I’m feeling FANCY, so there you go stupid poors I bet you never thought of that! *rattle tip jar*Physically, I honestly think it was more effort than cooking dry pasta, yes it’s quicker, but still involves draining, pouring and stirring so what’s the fucking point?
ALSO I don’t know this but suspect a colander wouldn’t work, I think the hoops would slip through.
As my sister said “it’s… something”, it’s edible but pointless.
It also felt and looked depressing
when I summoned her upstairs she said that she was ‘looking around for some kind of dish, only to spot a little orange bowl of sadness’.TA RA tatty bye!
Sideboard Bob
VIP Member
Mr Krabs
VIP Member
Looking forward to Marian’s next brightly coloured airport-friendly novel called A Sloppy Heart.
Back cover - Jack’s a witty 35-year old Irish gal who may be cooking up a storm in her prestigious TV career, but doesn’t have as much luck when the cameras stop rolling. Can the adorably quirky and messy girl find a man with a big enough car to hold her shopping and her heart? With just £20 on her Go Henry card, Jack sets off on a heartwarming quest across New Croydon in the hopes of finding Smartprice rice and Mr Right.
jenny2603
VIP Member
Griftymcgriftface
VIP Member
How about heat the spaghetti hoops and grate cheese over.
Or challenge the food bank to give the client some dignity and stop giving him fucking hoops if he doesn’t like them.
Or challenge the food bank to give the client some dignity and stop giving him fucking hoops if he doesn’t like them.
Spanner
Chatty Member
She’s trying to frighten you, stand strong fraus!
Most lawyers don’t work at the weekend, you twat.
I’m married to one. Today we went to look at sofas and then for lunch. He has not even looked at his emails
We don’t mention your lawyer is Jewish, we mention he says he moved to Israel, which is amusing because it’s like in Friends when chandler pretends he’s moved to Yemen to get away from an awful, screeching woman whose name begins with J and who’s obsessed with him*.
*sorry to do my girl Janice down. Janice is actually great
Most lawyers don’t work at the weekend, you twat.
I’m married to one. Today we went to look at sofas and then for lunch. He has not even looked at his emailsWe don’t mention your lawyer is Jewish, we mention he says he moved to Israel, which is amusing because it’s like in Friends when chandler pretends he’s moved to Yemen to get away from an awful, screeching woman whose name begins with J and who’s obsessed with him*.
*sorry to do my girl Janice down. Janice is actually great
Sideboard Bob
VIP Member
Lucy Aeroplane
VIP Member
Hey all, currently 25 threads behind but wanted to say @Ostapbender I don’t live in Southend any more, I actually moved for work a few years ago and uprooted my kids to do so (which according to Jack seems to makes me an awful mother?) but I still go back regularly to see family, as my parents aren’t doing too well. I just know the town extremely well so am able to call out inconsistencies like Lidl being too far for her to get to then posting pics from the park round the corner from Lidl. I know where our MP lives so I know she lives right nearby. I know there are plenty of places she could go to volunteer if she was the slightest bit interested in improving life for the poorest in UK society, because plenty of the poorest in UK society live in Southend.
On the family point - none of us are getting any younger, and despite my folks giving me a fairly rubbish upbringing (not really their fault: they were genuinely poor and clueless, but they could certainly have hit me a bit less if they’d wanted to), I’m grateful for the little they gave me. Even if they weren’t capable of giving me love and emotional connection, I had stability and routine, and usually food in my belly even if it was unrinsed spaghetti hoops (the horror!). Dad was made redundant a couple of times and those were Bad Times - so bad that even we children knew they were bad - but it could have been a lot worse. Obviously I also know lots of other people who grew up poor, and that does tend to be our attitude: was pretty shit but could have been worse. No “woe is me, I was POOR” comes from normal poor people. Jack is utterly, blindingly unaware of her immense privilege.
I had bootsale books and a library card and that was all I needed, really - I had no idea what I was missing out on in terms of activities my parents couldn’t afford, because we were (they still are) in a poor neighbourhood so nobody did fancy things. My brothers played football. And some of my schoolfriends had some absolutely monstrous shit happening to them at home, so I was able to put any of my own woes in context from a young age. I think Jack has never really had that; her context where she grew up probably included pony-owning yacht-club neighbours and schoolmates, so using them as comparators it’s easy to see why she’s always felt sorry for herself. (As a child, at least - as an adult most of us grow out of that, assess our individual circumstances and stop comparing ourselves negatively to others.)
Marian Keyes OH NO what are u doing bby? JACK DOES NOT GIVE POOR PEOPLE A VOICE! How do all these bleeding hearts believe that? Jack talks about Jack and Jack’s perspective - she only uses poor people as props when convenient, and I have never seen her actually platform a real-life poor person, give them a leg-up. That’s because she doesn’t know any, because she chooses not to. She could get out and do real activism, make an actual difference - or she could even platform some of the extremely hard working men and women in Southend who are doing that themselves, making a difference. But she chooses not to. Everything we do is about choices and she makes bad ones. She needs to step away and get into intensive therapy, then come back humbled and doing actual worthwhile work. I went back to some of my early posts here (a mere couple of months ago), and Frauen it may sound arrogant but I was right then and I’m right now
Also one last thing: houses in and around Basildon are way cheaper than houses in Southend, so if proximity to her son is really her highest priority when finding a home, she might want to start there. Except she wouldn’t, and indeed hasn’t, because people like her always look down their noses at places like Basildon (full of poor people, you see).
On the family point - none of us are getting any younger, and despite my folks giving me a fairly rubbish upbringing (not really their fault: they were genuinely poor and clueless, but they could certainly have hit me a bit less if they’d wanted to), I’m grateful for the little they gave me. Even if they weren’t capable of giving me love and emotional connection, I had stability and routine, and usually food in my belly even if it was unrinsed spaghetti hoops (the horror!). Dad was made redundant a couple of times and those were Bad Times - so bad that even we children knew they were bad - but it could have been a lot worse. Obviously I also know lots of other people who grew up poor, and that does tend to be our attitude: was pretty shit but could have been worse. No “woe is me, I was POOR” comes from normal poor people. Jack is utterly, blindingly unaware of her immense privilege.
I had bootsale books and a library card and that was all I needed, really - I had no idea what I was missing out on in terms of activities my parents couldn’t afford, because we were (they still are) in a poor neighbourhood so nobody did fancy things. My brothers played football. And some of my schoolfriends had some absolutely monstrous shit happening to them at home, so I was able to put any of my own woes in context from a young age. I think Jack has never really had that; her context where she grew up probably included pony-owning yacht-club neighbours and schoolmates, so using them as comparators it’s easy to see why she’s always felt sorry for herself. (As a child, at least - as an adult most of us grow out of that, assess our individual circumstances and stop comparing ourselves negatively to others.)
Marian Keyes OH NO what are u doing bby? JACK DOES NOT GIVE POOR PEOPLE A VOICE! How do all these bleeding hearts believe that? Jack talks about Jack and Jack’s perspective - she only uses poor people as props when convenient, and I have never seen her actually platform a real-life poor person, give them a leg-up. That’s because she doesn’t know any, because she chooses not to. She could get out and do real activism, make an actual difference - or she could even platform some of the extremely hard working men and women in Southend who are doing that themselves, making a difference. But she chooses not to. Everything we do is about choices and she makes bad ones. She needs to step away and get into intensive therapy, then come back humbled and doing actual worthwhile work. I went back to some of my early posts here (a mere couple of months ago), and Frauen it may sound arrogant but I was right then and I’m right now
Also one last thing: houses in and around Basildon are way cheaper than houses in Southend, so if proximity to her son is really her highest priority when finding a home, she might want to start there. Except she wouldn’t, and indeed hasn’t, because people like her always look down their noses at places like Basildon (full of poor people, you see).
Orphan_Black
VIP Member
Anti-Semitism now? Oh stop it, Jack. No. Stop that right now.
NomDeGuerre
VIP Member
Some more pure fiction from best selling novelist Marian Keyes!
CrackingOwlSanctuary
VIP Member
Glavset furiously tweeting Jack Monroe at the behest of the FSB for... reasons? Think they have bigger fish to fry!
I take a day off to attend a wedding and miss a whole thread!
AlwightDallin
VIP Member
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Pisstaking Twitter is my fave.
People-huv-tae-know
VIP Member
This is bullshit. They have nothing on anyone. Also your lawyer might find your use of cabal offensive.
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Another Twitter account has been set up highlighting Jack Monroe's grifting.
I think we're going to see a lot more of these popping up in the future. Particularly if she gets her begging bowl out again.
I think we're going to see a lot more of these popping up in the future. Particularly if she gets her begging bowl out again.
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