Jack Monroe #356 I can put 30p in the mortgage, Harold!

[FridayFunDay]

Welcome one and all... what a lovely day its been!

Thanks to @Belgian Bun for the thread title as nominated by @BlendedSlop

You have won a tin of unrinsed hoops. You'll need to share, I only have -£14.30 in my bank, now duck off.

Previous thread here -

Jack Monroe #355 rinses poor people better than she rinses spaghetti hoops

Toot toot! Rinse yer hoops, we have a new thread! Previous thread: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-354-who-funds-you-jack.32360/page-54 Congratulations to @Munchfrausen on the thread title, you win a day trip with Tom Kerridge and James Martin, with the chance to eat some saucy...

tattle.life

Lots of useful info in the wiki which is the pink button up there

Jack has been furiously, softly and mendaciously trying to salvage what js left of her credibility.

She has accused double Michelin star man Tom Kedderige of stealing her recipies.

OH is 6ft tall, but HE LEFT, along with his big car but we already knew that.

More info to follow...

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

It's been a good week, well maybe not for Jack.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

This is possibly the only time I (or anyone) will ever say this in connection to Jack, but she’s actually really helped ease my sickness today, her chaos has kept me nicely distracted.

 

[MooBelle]

Replying to @Lazarus from last thread!
Actually not too far from Wing Yip!

Just for context.... the Wing Yip is a huge Chinese supermarket on Purley Way in Croydon. It does lots of produce from various Asian cultures, but is predominantly Chinese. There are restaurants, bakeries and solicitors in the complex too. It is a hugely iconic and absolutely everyone knows of it locally.
When Jack was skipping about Croydon getting her Superdrug gig and buying goats legs, people started recommending places to visit in the Cronx.
Jack, being Jack, obviously had done everything/visited everywhere in Croydon. A Squig said something like 'oh, you should visit Wing Yip' and Jack, being Jack, said something like 'oh yes, I love Wing Yip, I always go there when I'm in East Croydon '
Problem is Wing Yip is nowhere near East Croydon. To walk there would be an hour or two. Getting a bus is tricky, you'd have to go on the magical mystery tour of Croydon's buses. She also said she'd seen it as her train passed by. No trains go anywhere near the Purley Way let alone Wing Yip.
In short, SHE WAS LYING.

 

[MarzBarzie]

This reads like a genuinely measured conversation in the wild, with folks trying to work out what is what. 15k thousand followers between the three of them. I think @GrannyOgg was right before when she said that this just might be the end of any brand partnership work. I’m still not convinced but this is the biggest backlash I’ve been aware of so far.

Twitter is a goldmine!

 

[Falkor]

Thread title by @Belgian Bun and nominated by @BlendedSlop - your joint prize is a year's-worth of rinsed spaghetti hoops.

Less than 12 hours since the start of #355, here we are again. In the aftermath of Jack's tweet-and-delete accusation that Tom Kerridge had nicked all her best ideas for budget meals, it became apparent that a few people had screenshot evidence and now many people have tagged Tom on Twitter asking if it's true. Tom, wisely, has stayed silent, Jack said she was going to have a Lovely Day and then promptly spent most of the rest of the day on Twitter making snarky comments at anyone who dared question her and attempting to drown out the Kerridge traffic by asking people to tweet her if anything she'd done has had a positive impact on them in the last 10 years.

For newcomers, the Wiki is the pink button up top. If you nominate a thread title, please put the words thread title in the post, and no swearing in titles allowed.

Also @OwlRightsReserved posted this at the top of the last thread and I think it needs to be carried forward for a bit since we have so many new people joining us at this chaotic time - these are the bits of the Wiki to focus on if you want an explanation of some of the unique terms used in the Jack Monroe threads.

 

[drivingdownthe101]

This is possibly the only time I (or anyone) will ever say this in connection to Jack, but she’s actually really helped ease my sickness today, her chaos has kept me nicely distracted.

she’s taken my mind off a Not Lovely Day too, and for that I salute the medieval pixie.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

That was a lovely day indeed!

 

[FridayFunDay]

she’s taken my mind off a Not Lovely Day too, and for that I salute the medieval pixie.

Today has been a bit of a blur

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Thread 355 recap (am new, no idea if I’m doing this right):

Jack started the day accusing Tom Kerridge of spitefully cutting her out of the deal with Rashford and nicking her recipes. And swiftly deleted when she realised she had singlehandedly shoved her career off the cliff edge it was teetering on.

Then there was a lot of random tweeting to try and distract from that tweet. Then she got increasingly infuriated by the people taking the piss out of her rinsed hoop recipe.

It built and built, with multiple socks being brought in until…

she said that she is today’s dead cat and asked people to send her lovely messages. Which they did.

At some point she said she was going to go out and have a lovely day but she appears to have spent the entire day furiously typing on Twitter.

Awfully Molly called her out on her yo-yo finances and it turns out that Harold was going to buy her the house. And he’s 6’3” and has a MASSIVE car

Fnar fnar

Its been a belter of a day and I’m knackered so god knows how Jack’s feeling

 

[MarzBarzie]

I freakin’ love this squig, who is having a wee convo to herself!

I thought I’d check the hellsite for incorrect spellings too.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Harold's true identity was uncovered in the previous thread. Please respect him and refer to him by his proper name, Sultan.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Miles behind so not sure where this will land, but could not let @MsGilmore’s mention of the men’s beach volleyball on tv pass by.

Canal, let us take a moment to remind ourselves that in all the best men’s beach volleyball games,

there’s always a…well you know the rest…

 

[Belgian Bun]

This is a very proud moment for me. I can't help but feel I've peaked a bit early though

Now excuse me while I find a tupperware container big enough for this shitload of spaghetti oops.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

What’s the record for the quickest thread? Can’t you see I’m EXHAUSTED.

 

[moldwarp]

For the poster on the previous thread who said the local squig was being a bit creepy, I didn’t read it like that at all. I read it more like “I move in the same social circles as Harold, Jack - I know exactly what went down and how you treated him.”

 

[Mrs Peel]

I've been thinking why Jack's parents might not be intervening and I wonder if they're a bit scared of her, in terms of her reaction. I have a family member who is a lot like Jack, and her parents pussyfoot around her just in case they set her off. Once she gets on one you don't know which version is going to make an appearance - angry, sad, victimised, traumatised, plain bonkers etc. It's actually easier to leave her alone and hope things remain somewhat peaceful...until she kicks off again.

 

[FridayFunDay]

What’s the record for the quickest thread? Can’t you see I’m EXHAUSTED.

No idea but that has to be up there!

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

she’s taken my mind off a Not Lovely Day too, and for that I salute the medieval pixie.

Me too, I’ve had a weird day of feeling lonely and flat, but have been immensely cheered by @Nottonightbabe’s monster truck gif and the idea of Middle Ages Jack doing medieval things.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Some more pure fiction from best selling novelist Marian Keyes!