Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

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kachoochoo

kachoochoo

I can kinda see it, but I would never try to use it

imagine the texts she must get on the public number:

"yo, jack. I'm a political prisoner. I'm handcuffed to this radiator. how do I make pumble out of a slop bucket and leaky radiator water?"

"hiya top princess 😻😻😻 did you film the opening of my completely non-creepy gift yet? 🍑🍑 I wuv oo 🥰🥰🥰"

"chapeau jack 🎩 just needed to say you won the internet today mlady when you called bojo a cockwomble"

"jack, it's nige. good j1g isn't it? I'll big you up again soon. promise. x"

"jack, can I replace rinsed hoops with orricchiete? it's all we've got in I'm afraid"
 
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Orphan_Black

Orphan_Black

kachoochoo said:
I can kinda see it, but I would never try to use it

imagine the texts she must get on the public number:

"yo, jack. I'm a political prisoner. I'm handcuffed to this radiator. how do I make pumble out of a slop bucket and leaky radiator water?"

"hiya top princess 😻😻😻 did you film the opening of my completely non-creepy gift yet? 🍑🍑 I wuv oo 🥰🥰🥰"

"chapeau jack 🎩 just needed to say you won the internet today mlady when you called bojo a cockwomble"

"jack, it's nige. good j1g isn't it? I'll big you up again soon. promise. x"

"jack, can I replace rinsed hoops with orricchiete? it's all we've got in I'm afraid"
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She'd never know as she said before she never answers it.
 
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heretoreaditall2019

heretoreaditall2019

The scary thing is anyone can pretend to be anyone on the internet or with a burner sim?

Like a lot of the recruiters contacting you on LinkedIn don’t even have jobs available, they just want to build up their contacts to then pitch to brands with your CVs! Some people do it just to get an idea on salaries in your field/level. You’ve got to be so careful replying to people so why is she opening herself up for this? Someone could so easily call her up pretending to be a researcher for a radio show or podcast and probably glean her rates, availability, and what else she’s working on…? Or worse some sort of financial scam! She’s really dim isn’t she. :(
 
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kachoochoo

kachoochoo

don't know if we got this one too on the not-professional account. ~literally~ dogshit

20220714_235231.jpg
 
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kachoochoo

kachoochoo

Ostapbender said:
I don't think she's very enthusiastic about the dog you guys. is that just me getting a vibe
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yeah, I know next to nothing about dogs (hell, I learnt here that you don't take puppies for "walkies" till they're vaxxed and grown)
but she is absolutely just gonna open the back door to let that poor dog come and go and tit all over the crappy lawn, instead of properly training her, isn't she?
 
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Mrs Peel

Mrs Peel

Ostapbender said:
I don't think she's very enthusiastic about the dog you guys. is that just me getting a vibe
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She isn't, hence the obligatory smiley dog photos, which are aimed to make everyone think she's having the best time.

Smiley dog face is the default dog face. That's what they do in anticipation of something good happening. I can guarantee that once she put the camera away, poor Content reverted to unhappy/bored/getmethehelloutofhere face.
 
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HotesTilaire

HotesTilaire

I do think poor Laurie is on her way to another home in due course. Laurie was propbably the name of Harold the Homophobes first crush at nursery for one thing. For another, Jack isn’t giving big “enjoying having a dog” vibes, as pointed out. My nan mentions her neighbours rescue greyhound to me over the space of a week more oft than Jack mentions Laurie.
Also bagsy not ringing her, I don’t even like hearing her on the radio, why would I want to call her? I don’t have a fetish for blocked noses.
 
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Orphan_Black

Orphan_Black

Ostapbender said:
Well that explains the state of the lawn, I knew one small dog couldn't cover that much ground. Southend Police should be told 🚓🚨
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To be fair to Jack, all the grass around London is looking in the same state. It's been sunny and roasting hot for days now down South.
 
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Orphan_Black

Orphan_Black

Ostapbender said:
Ah I was joking -- I know it's down to the sun and not p1ss
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Nah give it a month, the hot weather will have fucked off and all the lawns of Thorpe Bay will be lush and green again, except Jack's. 😂 😂 😂

I bet she leaves all the turds for SB to pick up during his Tuesday visit. She's that type of bastard.
 
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Cookiecookie

Cookiecookie

Vanelope said:
Our grass looks like that at the moment - I can’t bear to sprinkler because of the cost.
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Same. Ours grows in the Wet, and dies in the Dry. Even weird neighbour has gone from watering theirs four times a day to twice.

Ostapbender said:
How Jack sees her role in world events:
View attachment 1417335
View attachment 1417337
View attachment 1417340

Jack's actual role in world events:
View attachment 1417341
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She doesn't even do that well though!
 
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Mrs Peel

Mrs Peel

Orphan_Black said:
Nah give it a month, the hot weather will have fucked off and all the lawns of Thorpe Bay will be lush and green again, except Jack's. 😂 😂 😂

I bet she leaves all the turds for SB to pick up during his Tuesday visit. She's that type of bastard.
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And she'll put him on the naughty step if he misses one.
 
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