Five finger discount Jack
Get fucked.
Soz
Get fucked.
Soz
Jack Monroe #335 Boob, I guess
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Imagine being in the middle of shoplifting a kilo of designer butter and a greasy-haired, filthy-nailed urchin slinks up to you, raises a fist, and hisses, "Solidarity, comrade!" then darts away leaving nothing but a lingering honk. It'd be enough to scare you straight.
That's not Burgler Bill it's Lurpak Jack
I thought she couldn't afford butter before the price rise, so why is it being unaffordable news to her?!
But that’s fine! Don’t you see? Because he’s the expert in this situation, so if that’s what he believes then the onus is on him to teach you! Win win here.No idea where this will land as I’m permanently on the eternal grunk but I posted a few weeks ago that I’d noticed my boyfriend started following Jack on Twitter. He’s quite left wing and I suspect he is fooled by her politics.
I’ve just had the crushing realisation that it’s seeing her on his timeline that makes him believe our shop for two people should only be £20 a week. He’s only just moved in with me so he has no idea what I spent beyond our ‘fun dinner’ shops on evenings where he’d stay over (he was fed at work the rest of the time). He truly thinks that’s all we need to spend and it’s made me want to scream into the abyss.
I might have to explain what the cabal is after all
It's all a bit Citizen Smith. 'Freedom for
Come on squiggles, someone snitch tag Lorraine 
Ooh and Richard Madeley… oh, wait.Come on squiggles, someone snitch tag Lorraine
I think someone took an extra long nap today and has woken up very grumpy indeed.
In my first Saturday job in 1988, not only was I told never to attempt to stop a shoplifter, the cash office and staffroom had signs up telling staff not to resist if they were being robbed. Because nothing is worth getting stabbed or shot over. The plan was stay safe, stay alive and then the CCTV would be used as evidence. These days, security guards are more for deterrent rather than as hired heavies (although dumpy middleaged Mums with too much botox, filler and a backpack stuffed with nightmeat would probably get stopped because they'd just start crying rather than legging it or posing a risk - assuming that JM doesn't still carry a knife on her as she claimed she always did 'for protection'
They also pointed out that the act of concealment, removing tags, switching price labels and suchlike are all perfectly adequate for gaining shoplifting convictions with CCTV and the odds were that whoever did it was going to be back in within 3 days for their next go, at which point they could be barred or the Police provided with further evidence to build a case (the type where reports say 'asked for 258 similar offences to be taken into consideration'). No need to stop them at all.
All this butter talk reminds me of bottom, when they enter the newspaper comp.
"I like stork margarine, because I only have one leg"
Hers would be,
" I like stealing margarine, to piss off Boris"
"I like stork margarine, because I only have one leg"
Hers would be,
" I like stealing margarine, to piss off Boris"
I say this as an *actual* dyed in the wool socialist, but it seems standard that lefty men have no idea of the cost of mundane things like weekly food shops.No idea where this will land as I’m permanently on the eternal grunk but I posted a few weeks ago that I’d noticed my boyfriend started following Jack on Twitter. He’s quite left wing and I suspect he is fooled by her politics.
I’ve just had the crushing realisation that it’s seeing her on his timeline that makes him believe our shop for two people should only be £20 a week. He’s only just moved in with me so he has no idea what I spent beyond our ‘fun dinner’ shops on evenings where he’d stay over (he was fed at work the rest of the time). He truly thinks that’s all we need to spend and it’s made me want to scream into the abyss.
I might have to explain what the cabal is after all
Have your boyfriend do a weekly, forensic and painfully detailed stocktake of what food you've got in, and then have him handwrite it before sending him to the shops with a huge backpack to carry everything back. He'll give up within 30 seconds.
Jack the ripper-offer has to be a thread title surely
I see Jack's been grunking. She read all our Les Mis stuff and now her main character syndrome has her believing she's Jack Valjean the valliant king pov, oft pursued by obsessed Tory policeman Sajid Javert.
In no way would a person who had completed all 12 steps post this about stealing.
I'm really struggling to withhold my anger at this bullshit.
I'm really struggling to withhold my anger at this bullshit.
Ahh, those deliciously ordinary days
When Superdrug asked Jack for money saving tips, I don't think this is what they meant.
Put your laminate away and stop looking at them, Geets
She gets angry about weird things. I couldnt care less it cost 100 pounds there are other butters available, it not the only one in the shops.
Also if I saw someone trying to steal baby formula, I wouldn't look away I would slip them the ££ to buy it and not get taken away from their baby you, twit!
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