- Notice
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Her writing style makes me wish I'd never learnt to read.
colouredlines
VIP Member
I made a Pumble. Full (long) review below.
First of all, I apologise for the quality of my photos. Unlike Jack, I did not want to make this during daylight hours for the natural light. Please leave me and my obese cat alone.
Lest we forget, this is a pumble:
Jack says:
The published recipe is for pear pumble (this will become interesting later). Jack claims this is good for kids. I am not a mother, but I don't think so - when I was a kid I liked mixing things and decorating things, and the pumble involves neither of these skills, AND requires you to finely slice ingredients. Just make some brownies or cookies or something FFS.
I assembled my ingredients...
...and got to work.
We're off to a bad start. This is a very confusing direction. I took out an old loaf tin and hoped for the best.
Thank yoi for your forensic attention to detail, Jack.
I sliced my pears. It did not take long. In fact, it took me longer to read that paragraph, which is mostly Jack showing off about knowing something a bit sciencey, than it did to follow the step.
My pears looked...large. I sliced them as directed, but I felt that small chunks would make more sense? This does not look like it will be particularly easy to serve and eat. But who am I to question a literal food expert?
I am nothing if not forensic, so I used proper measuring spoons:
There was no instruction to stir things round a bit, so I ended up with my top layer of pears looking like this:
Despite my concerns about excessive cinnamon, I put the pears into the oven and continued.
I am not a beach music festival, so I do not own any plastic shot glasses. I do have some cookie cutters though, including Cable favourites like horses, dinosaurs, and bunnies (RIP):
Neither milk nor oil appear in the meticulous, forensic list of ingredients. I had oil but not milk so I did my best, not wanting flaccid, pale horses (no good for béchamel).
And then I anxiously waited for it to come out of the oven.
Finally, it was time. My pears looked caramelised and delicious:
...no wait, that's just the cinnamon.
My pears had not softened all that much - they still had far more bite than you'd want from a crumble filling. But it was pumble time.
Um.
How horrendously shit does that look?
Jack does not make any serving suggestions, but I accompanied my pumble with some homemade ice cream. This way I would be sure something on the plate tasted good. Plus, it's my ratafia (a Catalan licor) ice cream, and I figured alcohol might help the pumble-munching process.
It was...not great. The pastry tasted like, well, pastry. Because it was not baked like a pie, the pastry had not absorbed any fruity flavour. The pear skin meant there was no way the pears would soften to a crumble filling texture. The top layer of pears was overspiced; the rest were bland. The size of the slices made it awkward to eat. It wouldn't make you hurl, but it's just a bad dish.
My boyfriendsaid it was the best thing he'd ever eaten and sent photos to his friends' whatsapp group was perplexed. I told him it was a typical English dessert (sorry English Frauen) and he looked unimpressed. He politely ate his portion. Neither of us wanted seconds.
The ice cream? Superb.
Let's take another look at the original:
As you can clearly see, Jack has put a rim of raw pastry on her pie dish and baked it like that - not mentioned in the recipe.
She also names this as BANOFFEE pumble. Not pear. I wonder if she ever actually made the pear pumble. No photos of it exist. There are major structural issues due to the sliced, not diced, pears. It's a really bad recipe.
So how does the SAME photo go from Banoffee Pumble on Jack's Insta to Pear Pumble on her blog a day later? That, my friends, is a mystery...could pears be cheaper to price? Easier to write up? Is she just a big old lying liar who lies?
SHAN'T.
Lest we forget, this is a pumble:
Jack says:
The published recipe is for pear pumble (this will become interesting later). Jack claims this is good for kids. I am not a mother, but I don't think so - when I was a kid I liked mixing things and decorating things, and the pumble involves neither of these skills, AND requires you to finely slice ingredients. Just make some brownies or cookies or something FFS.
I assembled my ingredients...
...and got to work.
We're off to a bad start. This is a very confusing direction. I took out an old loaf tin and hoped for the best.
Thank yoi for your forensic attention to detail, Jack.
I sliced my pears. It did not take long. In fact, it took me longer to read that paragraph, which is mostly Jack showing off about knowing something a bit sciencey, than it did to follow the step.
My pears looked...large. I sliced them as directed, but I felt that small chunks would make more sense? This does not look like it will be particularly easy to serve and eat. But who am I to question a literal food expert?
I am nothing if not forensic, so I used proper measuring spoons:
There was no instruction to stir things round a bit, so I ended up with my top layer of pears looking like this:
Despite my concerns about excessive cinnamon, I put the pears into the oven and continued.
I am not a beach music festival, so I do not own any plastic shot glasses. I do have some cookie cutters though, including Cable favourites like horses, dinosaurs, and bunnies (RIP):
Neither milk nor oil appear in the meticulous, forensic list of ingredients. I had oil but not milk so I did my best, not wanting flaccid, pale horses (no good for béchamel).
And then I anxiously waited for it to come out of the oven.
Finally, it was time. My pears looked caramelised and delicious:
...no wait, that's just the cinnamon.
My pears had not softened all that much - they still had far more bite than you'd want from a crumble filling. But it was pumble time.
Um.
How horrendously shit does that look?
Jack does not make any serving suggestions, but I accompanied my pumble with some homemade ice cream. This way I would be sure something on the plate tasted good. Plus, it's my ratafia (a Catalan licor) ice cream, and I figured alcohol might help the pumble-munching process.
It was...not great. The pastry tasted like, well, pastry. Because it was not baked like a pie, the pastry had not absorbed any fruity flavour. The pear skin meant there was no way the pears would soften to a crumble filling texture. The top layer of pears was overspiced; the rest were bland. The size of the slices made it awkward to eat. It wouldn't make you hurl, but it's just a bad dish.
My boyfriend
The ice cream? Superb.
Let's take another look at the original:
As you can clearly see, Jack has put a rim of raw pastry on her pie dish and baked it like that - not mentioned in the recipe.
She also names this as BANOFFEE pumble. Not pear. I wonder if she ever actually made the pear pumble. No photos of it exist. There are major structural issues due to the sliced, not diced, pears. It's a really bad recipe.
So how does the SAME photo go from Banoffee Pumble on Jack's Insta to Pear Pumble on her blog a day later? That, my friends, is a mystery...could pears be cheaper to price? Easier to write up? Is she just a big old lying liar who lies?
SHAN'T.
Orphan_Black
VIP Member
Burglar Bill, Southend's most nefarious crook, stealing all the butter and turning it into pumbles.
Mendacious Trumpet
Well-known member
I gotta say, I like the company TD keeps.
Rekyavikgirl
VIP Member
Good morning Jack. I was an injecting opiate and amphetamine addict for many years. Part of my recovery involves acknowledging that in order to get my gear I did terrible things and hurt people. The fact that I was deeply traumatised as a child and took drugs in part as a reaction to that DOES NOT EXCUSE MY BAD BEHAVIOUR. By all means shoplift, but don't think you won't be held accountable for it because it's not a victimless crime. It inflates prices and reduces staff wages. It causes moral injury to staff who may be from the same communities as the shoplifters. Drugs felt delicious and I enjoyed them for quite some time until it got tricky- for me, not others. It's never a simple story of taking the first hit to "dull the pain". You know very little because you aren't really interested in other people and i don't believe you're willing or able to change this. They're accessories and props in your own grand larping narrative.
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Cucumberthunder
VIP Member
Same squig in the quote tweets
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Tabitha D
VIP Member
FFS.
Florid, overwritten, misuse of vocabulary, hyperbolic references to The Poverty, irresponsible references to suicide and eating disorders - all the usual suspects present and correct for a “piece” by Jack.
Who is this book FOR? What will it achieve? Whose mind will it change?
And “The Hunger Names”, I ask you. Really??
Florid, overwritten, misuse of vocabulary, hyperbolic references to The Poverty, irresponsible references to suicide and eating disorders - all the usual suspects present and correct for a “piece” by Jack.
Who is this book FOR? What will it achieve? Whose mind will it change?
And “The Hunger Names”, I ask you. Really??
MancBee
VIP Member
I just want to ask you all to watch AIDS the unheard tapes on BBC iplayer. It is so moving, I have spent the past three hours going from laughter, to sadness, tears and anger.
The second episode is particularly emotional. It brought back so many memories that I had forgotten. The activism, the stigma, section 28, the queerbashing, the camaraderie, the support, the self help, the compassion, the hatred, the love, the protests, the demonstrations, and the kindness and charity. The way AIDS patients were treated by even the nursing profession was dehumanising. The Royal college of Nursing fought so that no nurse would be expected to work with AIDS patients if they didn't want to. Porters and ancillary staff refused to go anywhere near patients. It was horrific.
The programme has ignited emotions that I have kept under control for most of the past few years. But remembering what I have lived though in my lifetime has made realise how lucky I am, not only to have lived though such times, but I am still here to tell the tale. An amazing life all the same. And there's still a few years in the old dog yet.
Please watch all three episodes, it so important that these men's voices are not forgotten.
The second episode is particularly emotional. It brought back so many memories that I had forgotten. The activism, the stigma, section 28, the queerbashing, the camaraderie, the support, the self help, the compassion, the hatred, the love, the protests, the demonstrations, and the kindness and charity. The way AIDS patients were treated by even the nursing profession was dehumanising. The Royal college of Nursing fought so that no nurse would be expected to work with AIDS patients if they didn't want to. Porters and ancillary staff refused to go anywhere near patients. It was horrific.
The programme has ignited emotions that I have kept under control for most of the past few years. But remembering what I have lived though in my lifetime has made realise how lucky I am, not only to have lived though such times, but I am still here to tell the tale. An amazing life all the same. And there's still a few years in the old dog yet.
Please watch all three episodes, it so important that these men's voices are not forgotten.
On topic, Jack has no idea of what true activism is. Those that marched in the 1970's and 80's Gay liberation marches, fighting against section 28, fighting for equality of the age of consent, all could show jack what activism is. And it's not sitting in the comfort of your home shouting to the converted.
Being part of a group of people with the same aims and objectives is what activism is about, not a lone voice shouting angrily and getting nowhere. Lone voices are easily humoured and appeased and are, as Jack is finding, for the most part ignored.
Sorry if this has landed in an odd place, I still have 20 pages to Grunk.
Smeghead
VIP Member
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