Jack Monroe #326 You absolutely reek of bitterness, fantasy and too much time on your hands

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Cooper is not fine with Content Dog. His facial expression is "what fresh hell is this?".

Screenshot 2022-06-21 19.32.00.png
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 44
My mum won’t retire early because although she could afford to live she’d struggle with the dog’s vet fees. Yet Jackie seems to have a never ending £34 in the bank that doesn’t ever get any smaller or bigger, and expects that her fawning squigs will stump up when that poor puppy inevitably needs any form of veterinary care
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 42
Dogs behaving badly on now, labradoodle won’t allow housework, attacking, broom, hoover, ironing board oh forgot mackie doesn’t use any of those. 🙄 It barks non stop, he says the are looking for movement all the time ready for action, in other words the most unsuitable breed for smol disabled lazy pixie
 
  • Like
Reactions: 26
Should name the next thread "what breed is Jack Monroe's dog?" so that they don't get lost on the way from Google 😂
Seems that Jack Monroe, who claims to have created the Vimes Boots Index, has adopted a dog, which looks like a golden doodle. I don't think Jack Monroe is equipped to look after the dog. People who are interested can look up the Wiki (pink button) to see Jack Monroe's worrisome history with other animals and also find out about the Vimes Boots Index which doesn't exist
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 49
My Grandparents had a dog and a cat. The cat was there for 8 years before the dog. Big house, very easy to keep the two apart for a few months whilst training the puppy. Plus, the cat pretty much lived upstairs, for unknown CAT reasons, but stair gates were put up in case the pup decided to try and belt upstairs.

Before my existence, in the early 80s.

So it’s not A New Thing to know to keep your pets apart, for fucks sake. Or to know how to introduce them.

It’s almost like the only thing on her phone she uses is Twitter, and she’s unaware of the vast amount of knowledge available at her fingers.*

*Obvs she never Google’s cos then she’d be proven wrong on too many things and her head would explode.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 17
Hi all! (New here, so please be gentle)

Of all her ridiculous ideas, this has to be the worst one...so far.

I can guarantee that she'll last 2 weeks, max.

Dogs don't give a tit if you don't feel up to walking them - if you don't take them for a walk they'll simply chew your furniture instead or pee all over the floor. Not because they are assholes, because they are dogs.

Oh, and the cat isn't happy, far from it. He looks like he's already planning some sort of revenge.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 64
I'd say I wished she'd bought a hamster instead, but hamsters need to be let out for exercise, given toys to chew, fed, given quiet sleeping time in the day, etc.
She couldn't manage a teddy
Hamster? I wouldn't even trust her with a box of sea monkeys.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 36
What is she on about? She is 3 years older than me. Weirdly I don't remember much from then, especially not strikes. She is so weird. I spent my childhood playing make pretend not worrying about strikes.
I’m 3 years older than Jack and don’t remember any strikes in the 90s!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 19
I can't believe she got a dog. Who is going to take care of her when she goes to stare at the bright lights of the TV studio or on the train to Glasgow (isn't she due another trip up north soon?), or to give a talk and buy a goat leg in Croydon.

Or bloody glasto? She better not take this tiny baby to a massive festival. Or leave her behind with a stranger.

I hope she gaslights us all and rewrites history by rehoming the poor thing and pretending she wan never keeping her.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 42
I usually just lurk around on the JM threads, but wanted to comment on the puppy: golden doodles are massive dogs! One lives near us and it’s giant - it can put its (huge) paws on your shoulders. It lives with a family with two active, football mad boys, so has a great time chasing balls around the park with them. It’s also a bit crazy. One word I would never use to describe this dog is ‘chilled’…
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Wow
Reactions: 56
How old is she again? At what stage of The Poverty did she have a Great Dane? Or is she actually just bigging up a family pet from when she was a child?

Because it obviously goes without saying that a childhood family pet nowhere near prepares you for the complete responsibility of owning one as an adult.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 47
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.