Jack Monroe #326 You absolutely reek of bitterness, fantasy and too much time on your hands

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Welcome dear ninnies one and all, to thread #326 where a few days and hours is like being in some kind of weird Jack Monroe warped space and time continuum. The thread title was nominated by @Orphan_Black with a brilliant 110 votes.

Our fave smol pixie took time out of her 120 hour working week to go on a weekend break to the Netherlands.
Much debate ensued as to whether she went on her own or with her OH (did you know she had an OH :cool:) - speculation continues as to whether OH (Harold) has LEFT.

Jack appeared at a voluntary sector conference in Scotland causing great alarm among our Scottish frau. The black tie evening do was equally entertaining as Jack turned up in her unwashed 3 day old pov outfit. We also had train chaos with a white knight squigg meeting her in London with a hand brace for ouchy thumb.

At the weekend, she mithered about her Landlady and the ginormous eucalytus tree in the back garden of the crappy bungalow to her 500k Twitter followers (hence the face-tuning of the sky and a legs n hammock thott shot). In the meantime, we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of a posse of Diet Coke-break tree surgeons to chop down said tree.

However this may well have happened already - if not, then a row from either Big Dave or the landlady-across-the-road - as Jack's Twitter account has disappeared/been deactivated. The Flying monkeys are desolate - one (and only one) of them mentioned it in a tweet.

Still no VBI, mention of payments to HMRC and we have the glories of Billy Bragg and Jack to look forward to at Glastonbury (if the trains are running and Peeky Mink is still active...). And LJC is living her best life this summer in California.

To quote @Switchstreetz who opened the last thread: Wiki is the pink button up there somewhere ⤴ have a read if you're new, and please include the words "thread title" in any nominations makes them easier to track down when it's time for the next thread. And no swearing - toot toot.

 
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Worth adding that Jack bemoaned not being able to buy the crappy bungalow as it was worth £850k but if it was worth £530k she would buy it. With the £19 in her bank account.

ETA thanks @Pavlova you brave thread starting Frau.
 
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Perfect @Pavlova ! Are we taking bets on how long it takes her to return to Twitter?
I actually think she has climbed up the tree in protest so that it can’t be cut down.
 
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Oh dear, that sounds awful. You should call the police about that. I think Jack would appreciate the support.

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The authorities really need to intervene here.

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I blame the Tories myself. Boris is scared of Jack.

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Who are these haters? They sound ace!
 
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I just saw a tweet from Kerry Hudson, author of Lowborn (one of the books in Jack's performative pile) and other books, who is looking for a place to live as she has to move back in the UK.

Compare and contrast Kerry's requirements with Jack "120 foot garden wild flower meadow well spaced out detached house budget around 500k". The mind boggles.

 
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Worth adding that Jack bemoaned not being able to buy the crappy bungalow as it was worth £850k but if it was worth £530k she would buy it in a heartbeat. With the £19 in her bank account.

ETA thanks @Pavlova you brave thread starting Frau.
FTFY @Penelope_Ghent
Worth noting, in case it hasn’t been said: no further update on the unknown charities or the missing funds.
merchandise is still for sale without mention of where profits go.
 
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Great recap Pavlova! So much chaos!

Jack is the type to go radio silent and gets excited over people fretting over it. She's probably refreshing the Hellscape, scouring for mentions, getting dopamine hits on any that are sounding worried about her. It's both sad and sick.

She has caused so much drama and acted wholly unprofessional the past few weeks, proper peaking her normal nonsense. If any one has caused a problem, it's her.
 
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Great recap Pavlova! So much chaos!

Jack is the type to go radio silent and gets excited over people fretting over it. She's probably refreshing the Hellscape, scouring for mentions, getting dopamine hits on any that are sounding worried about her. It's both sad and sick.

She has caused so much drama and acted wholly unprofessional the past few weeks, proper peaking her normal nonsense. If any one has caused a problem, it's her.
It's worth pausing to reflect that Jack could have a genuinely nice and quite enviable life just now. People were falling over themselves to hand her opportunities in the beginning. If she'd put the effort to become a good cook and worked on her presenting skills she could easily have a TV gig, a fairly lucrative YouTube/ social media presence and be doing regular brand collabs on her Instagram. Between all that she'd be able to afford an assistant with hands to take care of the admin, her own (modest) home, flexible working hours and the well earned confidence that comes from pushing yourself. Instead she's having daily nervos, living in squalor and making an utter buffoon of herself with this bizarre decade long tantrum.
 
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It was OH related. Not sure what the suitcase bit is about, previously she'd used that when moving house. But don't think she'd moved in with OH (unless that was why they broke up?)

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But if they have deactivated Twitter, how is Jack’s agent going to get hold of her now? What will become of the frugal house tips books , or the politics books ?

Jacks back already , oh phew,
 
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95% his family/friends googled her and had a word. I certainly would if it was my sibling or bestie...
 
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