Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[Hollaaa]

She's like a plastic bag round Iqbal's today, absolutely full of shit.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

But….but I thought Louisa broke the tv with a wet cloth?!

Also, those ankles look fine Jack.

Also, that looks more like an adult with you than an adolescent child

Does reading “about 300 crime thrillers” count towards the 120 hour work week?

Finally, you don’t half claim to shovel down a hell of a lot of “off script” medication. Especially for a recovering addict

ETA stop peppering your every brain fart on Twitter with exclamation marks and kisses!

IIt makes you look like even more of a trite fucking dipshit than you actually are. x

Hard to believe I know! x

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Veronicaaa]

Ooooh!

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Ummm it's the fact you say you're looking for somewhere to BUY which contradicts it you total bampot.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

What I find most pathetic is the constant claims that she doesn't read here, alongside remarks that make it obvious that she is not only reading but absolutely up-to-date on the grunk

 

[Dogmuck]

Pretty much everything she has written in the last 24/48 hours is for us. She’s trolling us. I LOVE IT Jack , can’t wait for the gotcha aneurism

 

[traumatised sideboard]

No no no, you've misunderstood. The home actually fell through, as in collapsed in on itself. It was a shitheap as that's the only thing pov queen Monroe could hope to afford with her £19. Also she should be careful with her grapefruit ankle, it could interact with her medication

(would like to clarify that my post linking the new thread about being too depressed to cook was a joke about Jack being barely able to cook with her poor mentals yet being able to produce midnight honking bed potatoes and not a comment on the state of my life THANKYOU)

 

[MistyWindows]

LOL the last screenshot, the person who said 'if she's becoming a labour candidate, she won't get my vote' is someone Jack actually follows. The Jackolytes are piling on regardless.
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“You people are weird.” Has to be a thread title nomination

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Yeah, cos you never watch along and like their tweets and chuckle and libel people? Must be some other pleather legged, pigskin hatted, boorish nitwit I was thinking of.
Soz babes!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I was actually convinced Jack was RSM when Jack went on a rant saying “this is my story” when in fact it actually wasn’t. I thought she had logged into wrong acccount. I know she isn’t RSM but I like to amuse myself with it.

Bucket list news:

 

[Amanda Lin]

Nice that she brought out the same jumper again.

Still traumatised by jam going up by 4p over 10 years ago??

I have lived in poverty and nobody should, especially in one of the world’s richest countries.

But Girl, that is a privileged hand you have been dealt if jam prices still register in your memory bank of problems.

Also planning meals and then creating a shopping list from said plan is not hard, difficult work it is what families do all the time week in week out.

 

[Stormageddon]

Phenomenally fell down the stairs? Phenomenally? She’s doing this shit on purpose now isn’t she.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Jack's cheek cupping dentist who disapproves of her boiled sweet habit sounds like Adrian Mole's.

'As I was stumbling out of his surgery clutching my frozen-up jaw he said that he had often seen me walking home from school eating a Mars bar, and it would be entirely my own fault if I was toothless at thirty.

I will walk home another way in future'.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

More than 30 tweets over the past 24 hours and they’re all about her directly. Almost every single one contains an “I”, a “me” or a “my”.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Hi Jack! Glad to see you've caught up and managed to get your TV fixed.

If you could share your secret to turning £19 into enough for a house deposit in less than a week that would be great.

Have a lovely evening.

 

[fran katzenjammer]

One moment Jack is discussing her will, the next she has bought a load of spoons.....

Or so I thought.

I must have followed a link at some point that took me back to a January thread and I just carried on reading and 'liking' posts. I didn't even notice as it was all just the usual bollocks.

Same shit, different day.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

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How can you watch Umberella Academy without WiFi? It’s on Netflix.

 

[Veronicaaa]

What the ffffuccccckkkk is she talking about? There's a big difference between saying you have £19 in your bank account a week or so ago to now saying you've been looking at flats to buy WHICH REQUIRES A ££££ DEPOSIT.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Ha! Absolutely x Jack, do not buy a leasehold property with a lift. Any works to the lift will be payable via service charge. Costs can be huge, especially if the lift needs replacing.

Jack should definitely buy a leasehold property with a lift. And preferably some complex structural problems.

 

[Clarends]

If its about SB as you say Jack why put it on Twitter?