[Cheques, notes, sideboards, boots]
Jack Monroe #256 The Da Vinci Code is easier to solve than her timeline
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Is that chopped tomatoes and spaghetti hoops?
Really?
How is this even a thing?! Why does all the food either look like a hospital sluice or like toddlers on the rampage in the kitchen!
This is all of us waiting for the Voluminous Bosoms Index while Jack provides hot takes on events from 2013.
And creating 95 different bubbles to get round it all too.Says Jack, who was running all over Southend in search of a chip shop WHEN SHE HAD COVID.
Omg I've never read the beer garden story before but I am properly 
Recording on your phone, in your back pocket, would just produce a lot of audio of arse against denim
Recording on your phone, in your back pocket, would just produce a lot of audio of arse against denim
And going to "very important meetings" in person/buying copies of the Daily Express from a newsagent while she/LJC were symptomatic, if her own stated Covid timeline is to be believed.Says Jack, who was running all over Southend in search of a chip shop WHEN SHE HAD COVID.
I know for a fact that two massive parties happened on my street during lockdown. I wasn't invited ( wouldn't have went anyway) there was lots of bad people there, police came... There was fist fights... The street had at least 12 police cars by the end of the night. So *Whispers* people did have parties!*
Retweeting yourself?
Bit gauche
especially when it’s complete bollocks
Bit gauche
especially when it’s complete bollocks
Is that chopped tomatoes and spaghetti hoops?
Really?
How is this even a thing?! Why does all the food either look like a hospital sluice or like toddlers on the rampage in the kitchen!
Here you go, just in case you're tempted...
Her phrasing is so weird. "This recipe may look a little impetuous, or at the very least unappetising" - what? That means "this recipe looks like it was done impulsively, but also perhaps unappetising." Which... makes no sense.
I know I shouldn't expect her to write anything even vaguely meaningful, but for goodness' sake.
Why does everything she makes have to be very very soft and squishy.
Also - whole garlic cloves!? Does she actually have any tastebuds?
Also - whole garlic cloves!? Does she actually have any tastebuds?
I am lost for words. The combination of those ingredients is so rank it’s unbelievable.
Half a teaspoon of mixed herbs and a stock cube dissolved in a litre and half of water?! That's the contents of a sinks waste trap and no one will convince me otherwise.
Why is she wasting spaghetti hoops. They taste perfectly fine on toast!
Rachel Roddy's recipe(s) for pasta e ceci are genuinely great, if anyone wants to excise that demon from their consciousness.
Is it safe to come out yet? Has she shut up for 5 minutes?
Has the Vast Bloomers Index dropped yet?
Will this be more disappointing than Titmas?
How many substitutions will I have in my shopping today? Sorry, I'm getting a bit giddy with it all!
Has the Vast Bloomers Index dropped yet?
Will this be more disappointing than Titmas?
How many substitutions will I have in my shopping today? Sorry, I'm getting a bit giddy with it all!
Jack reading this and taking notes - 'tit.' 'Methodology'. Must use that'.Can’t wait to see what methodology she’s used. I expect she’ll have done a 116 page manual explaining this in detail, like the ONS did for the CPI.
I love how even she admits her food looks foul!
Indeed!
I also might be being weird here, but I don't feel like 50 minutes is really enough time for 6 whole garlic cloves?? Fair enough, I'll chuck whole garlic into something I'm slow cooking, but I genuinely mean cooking meat for 2+ hours on a low heat etc.
Am I ignorant of garlic knowledge here? Also won't whole garlic vs. paste produce two wildly different flavours?
Actually, why the duck am I asking this like there's a reasonable answer.
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