Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[traumatised sideboard]

1411) Twatbot. Tells you you're a twat.

If you subscribe to my Patreon at the £10 tier I'll tell you to get to absolute fuck as well which for Jack would be like a prescription pre-payment certificate.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The official channels exist on the official site hun. Anyone with a brain would know not to put a vulnerable woman in touch with unverified strangers off Twitter but the longer these threads continue the more we realise Jack is possibly the thickest person in the universe.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 543612View attachment 543613View attachment 543614

She is in FUCKING MANCHESTER isn't she?

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Surely the best way to get support in a new area is to contact the appropriate support group

Given Jack has disclosed the friend is female, new to the area and potentially vulnerable if they are at the beginning of their journey

Isn’t this stupidly unsafe ?

 

[Pocahontas]

She’ll spend a long weekend in Manchester and roll back in to Southend speaking like Perry.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Congratulations to @Powershower
Welcome to thread 183 cool caballers.


Jack claims she was contacted by journalists about Bawsa's response to the football super league versus free school meals. The cabal says aye right!

Her latest cosplay in the absence of Cooper is to deploy clown costumes for when she runs away to join the circus.

Jack shows us her big girl watch. It even has a calculator.

The squiggles are becoming forensic and beginning to question Jack on a granular level about her lack of involvement and support in Tom Kerridge and Marcus Rashford's new campaign. Jack is becoming snarky, sarky and salty but won't admit her lack of involvement. This lady is not for turning.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Housekeeping

*]

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.


There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.


New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[Raver_Bear]

Long time lurker popping up to say hello Been reading since last year; I knew of jack Monroe and actually came to tattle to read about another influencer and saw her threads and wanted a read. It was about the time of her kicking off about THAT MAN and starting DKL and I couldn’t believe how she was acting and started reading her threads. You bunch of ninnies have kept me hooting and fizzing all year! I’m going to go for a piss and a sandwich now, but will be reading and commenting on these threads as they continue!

ETA:

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Not even one solitary, single like in four hours out of her 339.2 k followers

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"I've not booked under my name". Like anyone would know who she was or give a flying fuck anyway. Jack's hardly Beyonce

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Well this will be a tad awkward when they work out that little mini bar is actually a fridge freezer and the hotel team is Jack .

 

[bladiesla]

A few more tweets from people not buying the 'JM should have been involved' argument

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

This feels the closest we’ve ever come to a Rachel Dozeal style reveal on the class / poverty cosplayer. If she even eludes to the notion she was ever on FSM she’ll be easily disproven by her own dad’s incessant self promotion.

And we have the ICO drama brewing, what a time to be alive

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Shan’t!
You asked for that Harry, now fuck off and shag Hislop

I laughed so hard my water came back out. In Scotland we would call you a mad shagger, sorry Harry.

There are more mentions of Marvel character Jack monroe than of the Southend slop slinger. I did find this though. Sounds like one if squigs donated to the kickstarter if Jack wonders why she has detractors, she needs to read her wiki.

 

[Veronicaaa]

There's a few tweets today from organisations who are attempting to give away loads of copies of Good Food for Bad Days . It includes this one ...

.... which takes you to a facebook video of a lady doing two of the recipes from it. The first one is a tomato soup one, and the ingredients are tinned tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, and .... a tin of tomato soup. So she's written a recipe for tomato soup whose main ingredient is tinned tomato soup. The second recipe is for ice cream cake. You mix melted ice cream with flour and baking power and then stick it in the oven. I'd be almost tempted to try this (just to see how bad it is) except for the fact that it seems like a huge waste of a tub of ice cream.

 

[Malkiavelli]

“Manchester city hotel, how can I help you?”

“Hotel room”

“Certainly, on what dates?”

“We’ll get to that in a minute, just make sure you clean all the fridges for alcohol. I will be checking as soon as I enter...”

“....Certainly”

“I am in RECOVERY...”

“of course madam ...”

“I have 300k Twitter followers, just so you know...”

...

....

“Certainly madam. We still need to decide on the dates... and, your name..?”

“Peeky Mink”

“....Peeky....mink?”

“It’s an alias, the press are all over me... you’ll recognise me when you see me.....”

...

“and the dates mrs Mink?”

“Do you offer discounts for mentions..?”

...

...

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

diagnosis: gifted

 

[Harrybosch]

There's a few tweets today from organisations who are attempting to give away loads of copies of Good Food for Bad Days . It includes this one ...View attachment 542690

.... which takes you to a facebook video of a lady doing two of the recipes from it. The first one is a tomato soup one, and the ingredients are tinned tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, and .... a tin of tomato soup. So she's written a recipe for tomato soup whose main ingredient is tinned tomato soup. The second recipe is for ice cream cake. You mix melted ice cream with flour and baking power and then stick it in the oven. I'd be almost tempted to try this (just to see how bad it is) except for the fact that it seems like a huge waste of a tub of ice cream.

If you have ice cream, why not just eat the ice cream? Why am I typing this? Have I learned nothing?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

It's the full moon next week too, and it's a super moon!

So we're fast approaching the 200 thread mark, how shall we celebrate? I think Poca should put a word in and get us some hats commissioned .

Hats and AN EYEROLL REACTION

 

[Harrybosch]

View attachment 541881

Look up AA meetings Manchester. I'd use Google, but I suspect Safari or even bing would work too. X