Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[sleeping-chocolate]

I work at your run-of-the-mill hotel in Leeds, and I don't know about fancier hotels but we would never be allowed to leave an open, glass garaffe of water in the fridge. Our number one golden rule for hotel treats / drinks is that they have to be factory sealed for a list of reasons, and it's actually stating to make me feel disturbed like who is this calculative? During COVID we were sent gift baskets and takeaways from loads of food places and again, unless stuff was factory sealed we weren't allowed to give them to guests. This is literally how high profile people are often poisoned, and given she's such a mega celebrity with all these stalkers, should she not be terrified?

 

[Hollaaa]

I can imagine the hotel staff really excited among themselves going "yes, Jack Monroe, the Hollywood film producer, and Marvel character...."
And up bounds our lil smol pixie to the reception desk with eleventy-hundred rucksacks all beeping cos of Tiles innit, and packed with 100's of DelMonte tins, pairs of clown trazzers, boxes of secret vegan crackling and for light bedtime reading, THAT MAN'S entire back catalogue.

All beeping cos of Tiles made me lose it. Early-ish thread title nomination?

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I can’t believe I am now a Fridge Truther

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Well this will be a tad awkward when they work out that little mini bar is actually a fridge freezer and the hotel team is Jack .

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Last hotel I stayed in had a family sized fridge but there was just water, juice and milk in this massive space. Odd. It was a pet friendly hotel and we only stayed because it was 46 Celsius that day and our aircon was broken.

Yep, we spent $500 so our cats could stay comfy.

PS 46 degrees feels like you're on Mars. Horrid.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Sooooo the aparthotel Jack stayed in in Edinburgh is a chain (although can't be sure there are more than eight locations?? ) and they have a branch in Manchester. It has full size smeg fridges and that oh-so-quirky millennial aesthetic Jack loves. Just sayin, fridge truthers !

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Are the whole limes supplied by the hotel? Will they provide a knife sharp enough to cut them?

I’ve stayed in hotels of all budgets (the nicer ones paid for by work, alas) and I’ve never seen a whole lime in a minibar.

 

[AlexAC]

It’s a Smeg alright. Any hotels in the world have full size Smeg mini bars? This is deeply weird

 

[Billybellend]

Going to all that effort to conceal her identity when all they have to do is look at her tattoos



She's like a tit Lorraine Kelly

Thread title nomination, you utter genius!!!

 

[Lanie]

All jokes aside.

I think if she is in Manchester it will be as a "GUEST"on TK and MR cooking show, as many of the fancier hotels are quite close to media city.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

How could she not know she'd get busted? Some people might be too polite to point out the flaws in her post but there are squiggles out there only too happy to call her out. In front of however many followers she has.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

She sits on a throne of lies, no matter how much of Jonny Wilkinson's Kombucha she buys.

 

[Billybellend]

She's hiding from the Onion Police

Oh, another thread title nomination...can I have more than one? Is that allowed pleasethank(space)youplease @Pocahontas ??

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Sorry to hark back a few pages but I'm extremely sceptical about the EDS.

She claimed to have it around the same time it became the condition du jour for the sickstagram princesses and I've seen no evidence of it at all.

It's also highly unlikely that she'd have hands like that without an accompanying suite of symptoms/deformities that I won't go into for obvious reasons!

Just my opinion as an EDS having medical frau!

It could be the T or it might just be a genetic quirk that wouldn't be noticeable if she took care of her hands.

Sorry to interrupt the fridge-truthing and hotel speculation but I’ve often thought this. I don’t have EDS but I do have hypermobility and can do some cool and also semi-gross stuff like bending my thumb down and past my arm, and doing the splits really easily (fun but will probably regret it when the arthritis inevitably sets in) and I don’t think for a second that Jack, compulsive show-off and attention seeker, would be getting her leg over her head or bending her fingers right back or popping her hip out of the socket, and not tweeting about it like she does practically every tit she has.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I'm on the cusp of declaring myself a #fridgetruther but part of me hopes she's actually taken her bag of parsley away for a long weekend as a treat. I'm imagining such scenarios as her draping a complimentary bathrobe around it, propping it up on the pillow next to her as she lies tweeting furiously in bed, and asking it "Shall we order room service?"

 

[crystaleyesd]

Well I, for one, cannot wait for 'Parsley, Manchester'.

 

[Lanie]

Was telling my mum about the hotel with kombacha and she said if you drink too much of it, it can give you the shits

 

[Powershower]

I'm on the cusp of declaring myself a #fridgetruther but part of me hopes she's actually taken her bag of parsley away for a long weekend as a treat. I'm imagining such scenarios as her draping a complimentary bathrobe around it, propping it up on the pillow next to her as she lies tweeting furiously in bed, and asking it "Shall we order room service?"

before leaving it on a radiator to gently softly dry out so she can dessicate (her spelling) it over the bed a la American beauty to lure LJC back

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Was telling my mum about the hotel with kombacha and she said if you drink too much of it, it can give you the shits

This is true, if you aren't used to fermented food and drinks it can give you an upset stomach if you have too much. I doubt Jack will notice any difference.

 

[Lanie]

I think I have discovered her niche.

she could cook for old people,

they often cannot taste food, like it soft and are usually bunged up due to pills so she could move them along.

NExt cook book
Slop for days. ( Old people edition)