Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[HotesTilaire]

It makes me happy to be a middle aged menopausal Frau to see the poetry (I think these might be songs) it does take me back to my teenage writing phase, and grateful that it was never seen in the wild at the time or a decade later I’m the kind of head that would have done a blog of it as well, thank BEANS we didn’t have the internet back then.
On topic- Jack I didn’t care for your poems, but then again so what? I’m sure you wouldn’t care for mine either.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Sunflowers grow to 6 ft or more. 26 of them grown from seed would be a sight. And wasn't she in an exclusive apartment at the time, they would fill the bloody place.

I have to admit, I quite like sunflower bit I made a motivational poster with, the rest of that poem though, woah. They've got creepy obsessive vibes, stalkerish almost. Very strange poetry, and I don't think it's truthful to her real emotions, she's playing angsty emo (look at the profile pic)

Granted, we've all done this nonsense, yet, these poems are both hilarious and strange. Not based on anything more than garnering attention.

 

[Emmapism]

Ah stalkers plural again.

 

[Orphan_Black]

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Quick!! Distract them from my poems!!!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"I've not booked under my name". Like anyone would know who she was or give a flying duck anyway. Jack's hardly Beyonce

 

[HotesTilaire]

I'm sure there were a few posts on Twitter or Tumblr about this. Some sort of 'reply in the comments with how many porn categories you fit into', as a slightly cringeworthy social experiment to show how deeply sexualised all types of women are. Either she was referring to that, or, well, she thinks being a food bank mum is a fetish?

Oh god I only know of men, but they are bad for having a “thing” for bloody anything. Long hair, short hair, dyed hair, straight hair, shaved head, curly hair. That’s just the top of the head....height, weight, eye colour....

 

[MancBee]

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She is in bleeping MANCHESTER isn't she?

 

[Flash123]

I wasn’t expecting Alanis Morrisette jack. What a treat.
I’m wondering is it a Marriott Hotel?
And why would she need to stay in a fake name??

I’ve just realised- she’s on jury duty, isn’t she??

 

[kachoochoo]

I mean it's proper yikes and cringe (and we all have things written that we're glad aren't public and we all will have changed our opinions of many things over time) but there's the bits about benefit recipients/working class people that are just

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Aww, I'm sorry, I'm an old softy and I can't bring myself to pick on 20 year old Jack's emosh writing. When I was 20 I had ALL THE FEELINGS too and wrote a lot of lyrics that I am incredibly relieved are not held in perpetuity anywhere.

Aww, I get you and I think most of us can empathise with the burning shame of being reminded of our angsty poetry. But then I think of the bunny in the garage, the treatment breadcrumbs, the grotty cynical grifting and I’m all like <INSERT ALAN SHRUG GIF>

 

[HotesTilaire]

I wonder if she fancied herself as famous singer songwriter? Like Lisa Loeb.

Frauen, tell me what this means:.

Spoiler: OT.... Unusual item in a parcel

I have just opened up a large parcel of art materials that I ordered.

Inside the parcel tho...there was a large pair of men's French Connection pants. Wtf. I have not checked to see if they are...worn.

Pics or it didn’t happen (am trying to distract MancBee from the unfolding horror in his postcode)

 

[Emmapism]

It's okay Fraus she's just at Linton Travel Tavern. Will likely be a short stay.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Still no retweets so she doesn’t actually give a fcuk about food poverty just Jack Monroe

 

[Boyo]

I found some Jack poetry from 2009. OH. MY. DAYS.


I wish I had an answer for this sickness
That’s growing in my soul
Or at the very least a name 'coz it frustrates me that I can't tell you what it is
No I'm lost for words for once
You used to fill so much of me right up you see me now there's just a hole
And I cant walk straight for all the brandy, yeah don't lecture me, it's just gone 10am
And my heads stuck in my Blackberry

They're all creepy obsessed ex tit, bleeping hell fraus, I am hooting at these!!!

Mel Hadjicostas

Writer. Photographer. Mother. Amateur.

www.writerscafe.org

I had to click on the tab. I.......I just HAD to.

 

[Hollaaa]

She is in bleeping MANCHESTER isn't she?

Worse yet... if Jack's in MEDIA CITY.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Pics or it didn’t happen (am trying to distract MancBee from the unfolding horror in his postcode)

Spoiler: Pants

Sorry mancbee.... I don't imagine these undergarments will make you feel any better
Eta.....offending interloping pants are now spoilered. I need a bath in cillit bang

 

[Mr Krabs]

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My only regret is that I can only laugh react this once.

It's not like you couldn't triangulate from that wanky minibar alone.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry to interrupt what could be the beginning of a chaos, (Jack in a hotel is going full Partridge!), but I need to tell you all about my dream.

Remember the never-ending rag rug of nightmares? I dreamed that it was eligible to vote. And then wrote here (as a very serious comment) something like “yeah I bet even the rug voted properly in the Brexit referendum”.

 

[HotesTilaire]

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Sorry mancbee.... I don't imagine these undergarments will make you feel any better

I like spoilers, babe. Spoilers.
Also I am so sorry this happened to you it’s odd.

Not tonight carrot, not tonight.