Jack Monroe #180 Dildos, diatribes and diarrhoea

[Veronicaaa]

Jack's current whereabouts: scouring the list of people who liked that tweet, searching in vain for Matt Tebbutt.

Or Marcus Rashford.

 

[Adayinthelife]

For me it's not about not offending Jack. I try to use the pronouns that have been requested, even if I'm suspicious of the reasons behind it and even if I don't like the person. Sometimes that means having to accommodate dickheads.

I’ll always try to use people’s pronouns as it’s important to them and it’s common courtesy (I may slip up and forget but will correct if needed), but Jack really actually doesn’t give one what you refer to them as, they just do it to get a reaction

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

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witch better not be going down my pet niche (the feet). Though after Jacks met a questionable end poor wee things, it would be an absolute cheek.

 

[HotesTilaire]

If Jacks hunchy hunch was that twitter is broken, then Jack was correct. Yet, I know it’s broken from reading the news, whereas Jack has insider contacts who give Jack the news updates before the likes of us civilians hear about it. So why did Jack need to do the twitter experiment? It’s a conundrum for sure!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I’m going to respect Jack’s pronouns* because it’s only fair, but mainly out of respect to the people here who are non-binary. It really does seem like Jack insults the community and makes it harder for people to take it seriously. But I want the NB Cabal members to know that Jack’s fuckery doesn’t affect how I see you.

*(there‘s a high chance I’ll get it wrong, if so, please don’t take it personally)

Edited to add. It’s not even that it’s hard to get right! It’s just because I know my combination of autocorrect battles and dyslexia makes an absolute shambles of the English language sometimes.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I hope this isn’t a derail but may I ask a question? Don’t answer if this is rude but I’m curious. Does them being a twitter wanker affect your friendship? Do you have to second guess what you say or do because of thinking they’re constantly keeping an eye out for the perfect tweet material?

I see it a lot with people whipping out their phones to post statuses, whilst on days out with their family, and the two parents will be posting updates at the same time, about the same thing, then replying to each other’s posts! While actually ON the damn day trip and ignoring their children.

It does affect relationships, yes. My friends who are blue tickers can be a pain in the arse during nights out, messing with their phones, although I suppose that's common now. A couple of years ago, one was late meeting me at the pub because he was arguing with a Trumper and missed his stop. If you make a funny quip or comment (which obvs I do ALL the time!) you can sort of see the cogs turning in their brain, and you know it's going to end up in a Tweet. It's boring because you never feel like they are present and just enjoying their life. Get more than one of them together, and they'll talk in real life about really niche drama, like some American journalist liked a tweet by soandso.

Also, one of my exes is heavily into blogging and writes about his past a lot, and there have been many mentions of me. It's embarassing, because I really don't recognise myself in what he says. That's why I feel so sorry for Jack's exes, who like me are probably sitting on their hands wanting desperately to tell their side of the story. And the stuff he says about me isn't bad as such, it just feels inaccurate.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

@nissigossips
I was getting so bloody tired of Jackie's antics and contemplating taking a break BUT your real time discoveries / outrage is such fun to read! Glad you are here !

Nissi is like our new baby, I love her

We should take a moment to honour the diligent fraus who update that Wiki so it’s such a goldmine of lols and truth. Sorry I don’t know your @s, pls show yourselves tho

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

It does affect relationships, yes. My friends who are blue tickers can be a pain in the arse during nights out, messing with their phones, although I suppose that's common now. A couple of years ago, one was late meeting me at the pub because he was arguing with a Trumper and missed his stop. If you make a funny quip or comment (which obvs I do ALL the time!) you can sort of see the cogs turning in their brain, and you know it's going to end up in a Tweet. It's boring because you never feel like they are present and just enjoying their life. Get more than one of them together, and they'll talk in real life about really niche drama, like some American journalist liked a tweet by soandso.

Also, one of my exes is heavily into blogging and writes about his past a lot, and there have been many mentions of me. It's embarassing, because I really don't recognise myself in what he says. That's why I feel so sorry for Jack's exes, who like me are probably sitting on their hands wanting desperately to tell their side of the story. And the stuff he says about me isn't bad as such, it just feels inaccurate.

My SIL worked for about two years as the social media person for a (fairly niche and minor) blue ticker. It was so weird because she had to tweet as if she was them most of the time and it started to take over everything as once the precedent of updates and quick replies was set then people expected it. She wasn’t as “herself” and it was part of her actual paid job but she spent way more time on it than she was paid for and it did almost become a bit of a compulsion. I imagine that’s hugely amplified when you’re doing it as yourself and it’s your life.

When she left that job it was almost like she had to detox from it, she said she’d find herself getting anxious and automatically picking up her phone to check Twitter. SIL still has her own SM accounts but only uses them very rarely and won’t have the apps on her phone.

 

[Vanelope]

It does affect relationships, yes. My friends who are blue tickers can be a pain in the arse during nights out, messing with their phones, although I suppose that's common now. A couple of years ago, one was late meeting me at the pub because he was arguing with a Trumper and missed his stop. If you make a funny quip or comment (which obvs I do ALL the time!) you can sort of see the cogs turning in their brain, and you know it's going to end up in a Tweet. It's boring because you never feel like they are present and just enjoying their life. Get more than one of them together, and they'll talk in real life about really niche drama, like some American journalist liked a tweet by soandso.

Also, one of my exes is heavily into blogging and writes about his past a lot, and there have been many mentions of me. It's embarassing, because I really don't recognise myself in what he says. That's why I feel so sorry for Jack's exes, who like me are probably sitting on their hands wanting desperately to tell their side of the story. And the stuff he says about me isn't bad as such, it just feels inaccurate.

That feels like a big betrayal of trust to me, to write about an ex in public.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Thank you for saying this, I thought I was out of step with current thinking on here. No one knows what is going on inside Jack's head, or what Jack thinks is meant by non binary, but it certainly doesn't align with my understanding of non binary. It is all done for attention. I couldn't care what gender Jack choses to be, but this playing acting is doing the community a lot of harm. That Guardian article where she dressed in male and female gendered clothing was particularly offensive, as was the article itself.

It has been said that Jack is so brave for coming out as Trans Non Binary and what an activist Jack is. I have been involved with LGBT+ activism my whole adolescent and adult life, since the 1960's, never have I met anyone that has done anything less brave and do so little and yet call themselves an activist.

I will tell you what is brave, going onto a building site in the 1970's and saying that no, the wife won't be expecting me home, my boyfriend will. I will tell you what activism is, it is going on the biggest anti Clause 28 march in the country, fundraising for AIDs charities, providing support and counselling to youngsters that have been thrown out of home. I could go on and on, but wont.

I tell you what isn't brave or activism. It isn't brave to come out to accepting media lovey friends and use your new found "notoriety" to gain personal wealth and do nothing to further the understanding for those that come after you. It isn't activism to sit typing out tweets on Twitter for personal aggrandisement and financial gain without actually doing anything to change the situation of others.

I have had enough of Jack and the silly game playing. I pray for the day that it all comes crashing down.

Getting angry at Jack is actually hurting me not her, so I think I will take some time out.

Experiences like this are why I tell people to pay tribute to our Gay Elders, and I totally get how this is winding you up, it's tone deaf, somewhat manipulative of Jack, and the bio will no doubt change in a few weeks.

That said if we ARE being gender-baited it says way more about Jack than us.

 

[moosesauna]

It does affect relationships, yes. My friends who are blue tickers can be a pain in the arse during nights out, messing with their phones, although I suppose that's common now. A couple of years ago, one was late meeting me at the pub because he was arguing with a Trumper and missed his stop. If you make a funny quip or comment (which obvs I do ALL the time!) you can sort of see the cogs turning in their brain, and you know it's going to end up in a Tweet. It's boring because you never feel like they are present and just enjoying their life. Get more than one of them together, and they'll talk in real life about really niche drama, like some American journalist liked a tweet by soandso.

Also, one of my exes is heavily into blogging and writes about his past a lot, and there have been many mentions of me. It's embarassing, because I really don't recognise myself in what he says. That's why I feel so sorry for Jack's exes, who like me are probably sitting on their hands wanting desperately to tell their side of the story. And the stuff he says about me isn't bad as such, it just feels inaccurate.

Yes!!!! I was in a server with a bunch of Twitter-dude types and it was exactly like this, everyone jumping over one another just to get the funniest 'bit'. Drove me mad as you couldn't have a proper conversation without somebody trying to one-up you for laughs!!!

 

[Powershower]

I just looked at Jack's Twitter bio and it says they/them.

If I misgender you, Jack, it's because you keep moving the goal posts.

Exactly this! I used to work with a bloke, let’s call him Steve. Steve went on a religious retreat where he was given a new name and asked that we called him that which of course we all did. However if he’d started referring to himself as “Steve” again he could hardly be upset when other people do. I’m more than happy to use whatever pronouns or names a person asks me to but I need to know what they are. And Jack, “getting people fed” is not a pronoun hun

 

[colouredlines]

That feels like a big betrayal of trust to me, to write about an ex in public.

There was a guy who had an enormous crush on a friend of mine at university. He was a bit of a creepy incel type, standard resentful guy moaning about friendzones etc. Anyway, years later he wrote a book and sent her a copy. The protagonist's love interest was a very thinly veiled version of my friend, but made into an evil villain named...Jezebel.

My friend can laugh about it now, but it was really upsetting for her for a while, basically seeing herself objectified by this weirdo and twisted into a nasty self-centred witch.

It's why I roll my eyes at "I like girls, babe" and "you'll never be good at anything but flipping burgers" and "traaaaazzers? On a bird?" People tell their own stories in weird ways.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Exactly this! I used to work with a bloke, let’s call him Steve. Steve went on a religious retreat where he was given a new name and asked that we called him that which of course we all did. However if he’d started referring to himself as “Steve” again he could hardly be upset when other people do. I’m more than happy to use whatever pronouns or names a person asks me to but I need to know what they are. And Jack, “getting people fed” is not a pronoun hun

Aye I think it's how dismissive Jack's response about 'getting people fed' being a pronoun was, followed fairly quickly by the quiet bio update that's ringing alarm bells for me. And it is so hard to articulate that without feeling like I'm being dismissive or making light of the issue.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

My SIL worked for about two years as the social media person for a (fairly niche and minor) blue ticker. It was so weird because she had to tweet as if she was them most of the time and it started to take over everything as once the precedent of updates and quick replies was set then people expected it. She wasn’t as “herself” and it was part of her actual paid job but she spent way more time on it than she was paid for and it did almost become a bit of a compulsion. I imagine that’s hugely amplified when you’re doing it as yourself and it’s your life.

When she left that job it was almost like she had to detox from it, she said she’d find herself getting anxious and automatically picking up her phone to check Twitter. SIL still has her own SM accounts but only uses them very rarely and won’t have the apps on her phone.

I do this for my job too and it’s actually made me so ill and anxious that I’m desperately trying to find a way out. I’m always “on” and it’s not healthy.

I loathe social media now and everything it represents.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The pronoun issue - more than happy to refer to someone by their preferred pronouns, goes without saying really. In this case though, I feel more comfortable refering to Jack by their name where possible, as all we have to go on is something quietly being removed from a Twitter bio, that's constantly being altered (indeed it often doesn't contain any pronouns at all), and something just doesn't sit right with me .

 

[colouredlines]

Aye I think it's how dismissive Jack's response about 'getting people fed' being a pronoun was, followed fairly quickly by the quiet bio update that's ringing alarm bells for me. And it is so hard to articulate that without feeling like I'm being dismissive or making light of the issue.

I'd have more respect for Jack's ever-changing wishes if the word SHE did not feature so prominently on her own website, her agent's blurb about her, and her Amazon page; if sponsors like Del Monte did not use SHE when talking about her on her Instagram page; if celebrities like Nigel Slater were corrected when writing dust-jacket quotes for her books, etc.

At the very least, Jack, if you want people to take this seriously, update your own bleeping website.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's claiming this now. Still hasn't deleted the tweet, mind.

 

[colouredlines]

She's claiming this now. Still hasn't deleted the tweet, mind.

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"Mama, all the other kids' mummies have friends."

"I have LOADS of friends!! Watch this!"

 

[Vanelope]

She's claiming this now. Still hasn't deleted the tweet, mind.

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Like teachers started doing on Facebook 15 years ago?
There is behind a trend and then there is Jack