Jack Monroe #180 Dildos, diatribes and diarrhoea

[traumatised sideboard]

Thankyou x to dear heart @colouredlines for the thread title and @Orphan_Black for nominating the words. Your prize is a delicious pear and buckwheat bun. Only one between you though, if you can manage to saw through it to share.

We might be going to ICO court after the diggle reported Jack for data protection breaches, how exciting! She is very unwell and is undergoing intensive all day treatment that is presumably to give her a sense of self-awareness. We can but hope. She is also scandalised by the idea of a dildo despite possessing a drawer full of them. This certainly was not in any way a calculated tweet to increase engagement. Finally, she got on her soapbox (gifted by a neighbour) about alcoholics being gifted alcohol by well-meaning people and may or may not be identifying as non-binary again, nobody is sure. Either way she's probably going to be a dick about it to squiggles.

Spoiler: housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.


There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.


New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I hooted at the new thread horn

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I can’t wait to see how this thread title is going to go down with the next bunch of the Tattle is evil gang .

 

[Peeky_Mink]

Can we have the new thread horn each time there's a new thread plz?

 

[Lanie]

I think the thread title should replace the live, love, laugh quotes in people's houses.

Should we comission one for her and send it to her via her agent. She could replace the emin with it would look lovely in her throne room.

It could be a get well gift with lots of love cabal

 

[Debarkle]

Oh god I’ve done a Jack. Making burnt aubergine chilli as recommended by @Veronicaaa i think and not paying attention I’ve opened and added black beans instead of kidney beans. I guess beans are beans, right?

Jacks back on Twitter and liking stuff btw.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Ah @Kelpie I was too slow to quote you for a second refrain.

If there’s something liquid, but you know food should be firm....you can call

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Sorry for terrible recap everyone I panicked again, send help-os @People-huv-tae-know

@Shesaidwhat? I regret to inform you that she fairly recently posted a video of her creepily lurking behind her son while he was playing a My Chemical Romance song on the keyboard. If she didn't have a massive sweeping emo fringe and mis-matching Converse in the mid-2000s then the next time we get given hats, I'll eat mine.

 

[colouredlines]

Thankyou x to dear heart @colouredlines for the thread title and @Orphan_Black for nominating the words. Your prize is a delicious pear and buckwheat bun. Only one between you though, if you can manage to saw through it to share.

Oh no, I have just this minute converted to veganism. I will pop my half in a tupper with some melamine cutlery and give it to the homeless.

 

[Captainmouse]

Oh no, I have just this minute converted to veganism. I will pop my half in a tupper with some melamine cutlery and give it to the homeless.

What did they ever do to you?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Oh god I’ve done a Jack. Making burnt aubergine chilli as recommended by @Veronicaaa i think and not paying attention I’ve opened and added black beans instead of kidney beans. I guess beans are beans, right?

Jacks back on Twitter and liking stuff btw.

I'm sure black beans will be fine, though I'd probably just add the red kidney beans as well, it's a forgiving recipe #VeronicasChilliChowdownLarder
I actually made a batch for myself just yesterday, very into messy, messy nachos right now

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

@Shesaidwhat? I regret to inform you that she fairly recently posted a video of her creepily lurking behind her son while he was playing a My Chemical Romance song on the keyboard. If she didn't have a massive sweeping emo fringe and mis-matching Converse in the mid-2000s then the next time we get given hats, I'll eat mine.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Can we have the new thread horn each time there's a new thread plz?

Can we please have arsebot doing the new thread horn at least once!

 

[Kelpie]

Ah @Kelpie I was too slow to quote you for a second refrain.

If there’s something liquid, but you know food should be firm....you can call

SLOP BUSTERS!

 

[StringyMango]

@ traumatised sideboard. Your re cap was superb x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Squiggle has posted this on DM Instagram page.

Looks like that recipe from her went to more than one place.

Pear, almond and buckwheat cinnamon buns

Made using tinned pears, these cinnamon buns are a great alternative to the traditional Easter fare of hot cross buns.

wiselivingmagazine.co.uk

Ignore- chaos today. Missed earlier post while reverse grunking.

Apologies all.

I had my hair cut so it is the first time I was made to look in a mirror for an extended period of time and all hell has broken loose in my mind.

 

[discokebab]

Spoiler: Pick up your horn, pick up your toot horn

I'm reimagining this in a Slopbot universe and it is glorious

 

[Emmapism]

Thanks for new thread my darling @traumatised sideboard

 

[Squishedpotato]

Long time lurker here, hi! What's this about the ICO then? The threads have gone too quick for me to find it. Thanks x

Also, I had to unfollow Jack a while back. I'd grown increasingly annoyed with their twitter rants and overall narcissistic behaviour. Question, does anyone remember years ago when she went to that retreat and had that private room in the countryside hotel with a vegan menu hand cooked for her every day? I was trying to find the insta posts about it/twitter but it was yonks ago

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

SLOP BUSTERS!

who you gonna call....

NOT JACK!