Jack Monroe #154 The book has furloughed itself

[HotesTilaire]

*Kevin Keegan voice*

I would love it, LOVE IT, for Slopbot to have a patreon with more subscribers than Jack.

And the cutebots!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

@traumatised sideboard do you think you could do a track like baz lurhman’s sunscreen song only with her live interviews? That’s my special request and I’ll sign up to your patreon to make this happen!

'Everybody's Free To Rinse Beans..'

 

[I’MBUSY!]

I really tried to listen - only got to the second thing she sung/said! She definitely can’t sing

It's excellent in its horror.

 

[GoLando]

I really tried to listen - only got to the second thing she sung/said! She definitely can’t sing

Have you seen her play piano yet???

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Don’t forget our shared love of Dwight and The Office

We have just spent the evening watching Rainn Wilson’s podcast on YouTube

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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ETA - Happy Anniversary @LennyBriscoe Well said. View attachment 450613

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

You are so freaking clever, I’m in absolute awe!!

 

[DrtCrl]

Oh nooo

I didn’t join in at the time of the singing vids as I pretended they didn’t exist but WHY would you put those up?! Even if they were a nervousness exercise, the exercise is doing them? Not posting them online for everyone?!! She really thinks she’s dropping an undiscovered previous gift bomb on the world Narc 101!!

100%. She was definitely hoping that someone listened to them and gave her a record deal immediately!

 

[Cookiecookie]

Ok, so I (stupidly?) reread that. This struck me as not really sitting well together....
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So you buy expensive stuff, in case you have to sell for quick bucks, and then you ruin it so it’s practically worthless? Oh........kay.

And I couldn’t help but correct this...
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My FiL used to do this apparently. He was a bit of a wheeler dealer type, new business every few years, double bankrupt in the end, and would have the big gold sovereigns and bracelets. Then when things got dicey, he'd sell them off. He took care of his things though, my husband had a pair of his handmade shoes that must've been well over 30yrs old, which looked as good as new.

 

[Harrybosch]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

I love the thought of someone stumbling across this on YouTube. Long live Slopbot.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I’m reading a newly-published book about food and class in the UK and look who makes a cameo, predictably involved in (tinned) beef with Liz Jones.

 

[FeelingPrawny]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

I've just sent this to my other half, then had to briefly explain slopbot to him.... this is the reply.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Also love how in that article she tells us she's just been told what a great writer she is, then immediately follows with

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An emoji in a serious text, a lower case "I" in "i'd" that should be "I'd", and a missing comma after "Anyway". Great writer indeed.

And also she's so very poor but has a £1,200 jacket with the label hung in her wardrobe? That's worth twice what I paid for my car. Think how many £10 a week shops she could have for that.

120

Going to have to edit my list. The foot/broken glass incident wasn't before Hellmann's! It was before a Facebook Live to promote Good Food for Bad Days!

Soz, Jack xoxo

Think there's been 2 cut foot incidents?

 

[Cunderthunt]

I’m reading a newly-published book about food and class in the UK and look who makes a cameo, predictably involved in (tinned) beef with Liz Jones.

Both of them non-vegans who do nothing but damage to the movement.

 

[Limey]

I am reposting this while we wait for a rash update.

6th February 2018
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I'll stop reposting old stuff, I promise.

Why is she wearing two jackets? It's like Kevin McLeod on Grand Designs, when he has to go 'up North'.

 

[Flash123]

'Everybody's Free To Rinse Beans..'

THREAD TITLE!!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[FeelingPrawny]

@traumatised sideboard I may have lost my other half from laughter

ETA the toss and dickchese are in reference to me getting the words tosser and toaster mixed up in an earlier post. But what with the horse sauce.... maybe an expansion

 

[Froggies]

All the kids wore Burberry when I taught in Portsmouth years ago at a ‘challenging’ school. It was like an embarassing football thug look and I think the mums got it from catalogues with a weekly payment. It’s not a look favoured by groomed expats or the super rich... plenty on Instagram worn by drug dealers girlfriends and Sallie Axl.

Totally wondering if you taught at my old school...

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@Flash123 I could but haven't we suffered enough? And by 'we' I mostly mean 'I'.

I must admit I couldn't bring myself to watch the video, I just used the audio. A fun fact: she spends the first 3 mins 47 seconds waffling, some of that is just standing in silence (or making a croaking noise like the girl from The Grudge that I was sadly unable to use anywhere). She then spends 2 mins singing and, once she's done, tacks on another 35 seconds of waffle including a disclaimer that she knows she fucked up in places to avert criticism. Yeah, no kidding - I could send you a very long list of precisely where, dear heart.

@FeelingPrawny oh dear, this is the medicated version I hope I don't have to explain any of this to my nice lady doctor.