Stone Island next.
Jack Monroe #154 The book has furloughed itself
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Do you think that’s where hurty face came from? She jumped in and got knocked unconscious by the faberge egg which came hurtling out?
Ah that's lovely, I know it's been a long long slog and it's so great to have reunion in sightSo happy that travel restrictions will be lifted in four weeks and I can finally be reunited with my fellaI wish it was sooner but knowing it's only four weeks has just taken such a weight off
I do feel cheered by these announcements. I know we aren't out of the woods yet but it's nice to actually look to the future isn't it?
Soup? Ooooh I thought it was bin juice
that squiggle is clueless, honoured Jack could possibly be cosplaying my crusty ailment tbh, touch wood she’s not outside my kitchen window tomorrow morning 
x
Jamie Oliver’s on the telly right now, with ‘new ways to use everyday ingredients’. So far no ‘bung it in a curry’
Great plan! Buy a Burberry mac for £1,500 or so. When times are tough, sell it on eBay. Looks like they go for around £300, £400 at most. Of course, she treats her stuff like crap, so it'll be worth much less once covered in cat hair and slop stains.
You know what else is a good investment? Stick it in the bank! I know it's not exciting and maverick and all, but gasp, the number may even go up instead of down. I wonder if we added up all the ridic luxury purchases, we could get up to the amount required for a house deposit? That's aside from the KH money.
I like how she pays herself a living wage AND saves the extra. Means she's earning extra. Most of us are paid about the living wage and have to try and save within that. It's not a juicy bonus for everyone.
I wonder if it was him she was talking about in the tweet (sorry don’t know how to post them on here) where she says she’s used to not being credited?
Also love how in that article she tells us she's just been told what a great writer she is, then immediately follows with
An emoji in a serious text, a lower case "I" in "i'd" that should be "I'd", and a missing comma after "Anyway". Great writer indeed.
And also she's so very poor but has a £1,200 jacket with the label hung in her wardrobe? That's worth twice what I paid for my car. Think how many £10 a week shops she could have for that.
An emoji in a serious text, a lower case "I" in "i'd" that should be "I'd", and a missing comma after "Anyway". Great writer indeed.
And also she's so very poor but has a £1,200 jacket with the label hung in her wardrobe? That's worth twice what I paid for my car. Think how many £10 a week shops she could have for that.
I totally get that people will buy higher end goods as their wage packet increases.
However, Mulberry bags (although not to everyone’s taste) are expensive and seen as a special purchase. It shocks me that she would treat an item like that with such disdain and shows that when she is flush she really doesn’t give a f*** about how she spends her money.
ETA actually it doesn’t shock me.
In the thread about her jacket she says she cut the label out. Does she mean the price tags, or the the actual label because her wording to me implies that? If it’s the latter, surely that would hugely devalue it. (I’d cut price tags etc off, but cutting out suggests the labels you get on like the neck... I’ve done it with scratchy ones in shirts before, not that I’ve ever bought anything Burberry!)
I noticed that too.
Is she embarrassed to have bought a Burberry coat?
Is she embarrassed about the price?
Make it make sense.
Going to have to edit my list. The foot/broken glass incident wasn't before Hellmann's! It was before a Facebook Live to promote Good Food for Bad Days! 
Soz, Jack xoxo
Soz, Jack xoxo
Honestly just shows that she knows the value of nothing!
You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.
Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.
Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.
It's JM SHREDS!
Your work deserves higher recognition. This is utterly brilliant.
I can only hope enough people find Tattle and see these masterpieces
I think we’ve all been locked inside for a long time, you know.
My phone is fully cursed now. Thanks, @traumatised sideboard
My phone is fully cursed now. Thanks, @traumatised sideboard
Slopbot looks so triumphant yet coy, at the top of the mountain. Just brilliant!
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