Jack Monroe #154 The book has furloughed itself

[Cookiecookie]

She’ll be wearing North Face next, that’s replaced Burberry as Blackpool’s designer brand of choice (or knock off of choice is perhaps more accurate).

North Face has just done a Gucci collaboration!

 

[Readingismyhobby]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

I really tried to listen - only got to the second thing she sung/said! She definitely can’t sing

 

[Satisfying Click]

Slopbot looks so triumphant yet coy, at the top of the mountain. Just brilliant!

I think it's the image of Slopbot looking up at the moon that makes it for me

Another fine body of work, @traumatised sideboard

 

[Pocahontas]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

Felt like I was in the red room in Twin Peaks listening to that love it.

 

[Flash123]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

If you carry on with this slopbot will need his own tattle thread he will be so popular. I liked the ‘in the key of any’ bit..... because as we know all keys are the same.

 

[Petelgeuse]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

Absolutely brilliant!!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Not gonna lie nnnngghh ooooft I found it a tough listen. SLPBT was amazing of course, it’s just that I cant stand Jack’s voice. I guess it’s hard to take the vibrato off when that’s the way she sings.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@Readingismyhobby I absolutely do not blame you. The first time I scanned through the original audio I thought 'this isn't that bad' but the more times I went through it millisecond by millisecond to chop bits out, the worse it got. Interestingly she's most off-key when she's going for the lower notes which is strange considering she says her voice dropped an octave while she was on testosterone. The nasal and wobbly qualities really come back into her voice when she's not proper belting it out as well. Truly an atrocious piece of audio that I never want to hear again. If you're reading this, Jack, my favourite part was the perfect snare sound I cut out of your pre-wailing waffle.

For the Easter egg, I ran her voice through a plug-in called Marauder (it's spelt wrong inside my DAW, I don't know why but it's not like Jack ever let a spelling mistake stop her before ). Now she can maraud forever, it's what she would have wanted.

ETA: @HotesTilaire we appreciate your sacrifice. I believe it would be possible to smooth out the sound but I was already pushing the limits of my capabilities, I'm sadly not able to perform sonic miracles. Perhaps if you were to ....? <rattles tip jar>

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Felt like I was in the red room in Twin Peaks listening to that love it.

You know you’ve found your place when you’re in hysterics, bopping along to a song made by a frau and then another frau comes along and references Twin Peaks.

 

[Pocahontas]

You know you’ve found your place when you’re in hysterics, bopping along to a song made by a frau and then another frau comes along and references Twin Peaks.

Don’t forget our shared love of Dwight and The Office

 

[I’MBUSY!]

I wonder if it was him she was talking about in the tweet (sorry don’t know how to post them on here) where she says she’s used to not being credited?

She wasn't talking about him.

Woman's Hour had a segment today about how women are treated in meetings, after the Japanese Govt announced that they would generously allow women to attend some meetings as long as they didn't speak in those meetings.

Emma Barnett trailed the segment at the top of the hour and Jack tweeted in her "hepeating" crap.

When it got to the actual segment, Emma read out a couple of tweets that she'd received about it AND AND AND AND she read out Jack's tweet without attributing it to Jack.

Emma may also have implied that the tweet was from a man, but I wasn't listening that closely.

So when Jack makes reference to being "famous" in future, I hope she remembers that, well...the presenter of Woman's Hour appears to have no idea who Jack is!

 

[Grizzlybear]

@traumatised sideboard so I’d actually avoided listening to any of her a capella output til now due to cleeeeennnching second hand embarrassment. I LOLed my head off at slopbot and went in search of the original.

After fast forwarding through the adenoidal funk, the performative “get it together, champ” facial expressions, I made it 3 long seconds into her singing bit before hot tears of embarrassment came into my eyes and I had to turn it off. You a truly a brave and selfless Frau xxxx

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Don’t forget our shared love of Dwight and The Office

How could I?

 

[Flash123]

@traumatised sideboard do you think you could do a track like baz lurhman’s sunscreen song only with her live interviews? That’s my special request and I’ll sign up to your patreon to make this happen!

 

[Grizzlybear]

@traumatisedsideboard do you think you could do a track like baz lurhman’s sunscreen song only with her live interviews? That’s my special request and I’ll sign up to your patreon to make this happen!

Oh nooo

I didn’t join in at the time of the singing vids as I pretended they didn’t exist but WHY would you put those up?! Even if they were a nervousness exercise, the exercise is doing them? Not posting them online for everyone?!! She really thinks she’s dropping an undiscovered previous gift bomb on the world Narc 101!!

 

[Petelgeuse]

@traumatised sideboard do you think you could do a track like baz lurhman’s sunscreen song only with her live interviews? That’s my special request and I’ll sign up to your patreon to make this happen!

Possibly also a side project with a bit more beat.. Daft Grunk.

 

[Jelly Bean]

She wasn't talking about him.

Woman's Hour had a section today about how women are treated in meetings, after the Japanese Govt announced that they would generously allow women to attend some meetings as long as they didn't speak in those meetings.

Emma Barnett trailed the segment at the top of the hour and Jack tweeted in her "hepeating" crap.

When it got to the actual segment, Emma read out a couple of tweets that she'd received about it AND AND AND AND she read out Jack's tweet without attributing it to Jack.

Emma may also have implied that the tweet was from a man, but I wasn't listening that closely.

So when Jack makes reference to being "famous" in future, I hope she remembers that well...the presenter of Woman's Hour appears to have no idea who Jack is!

Tangent alert -
I love Emma Barnett. I had got fed up with Jenni Murray and Jane Garvey on Woman's Hour. Emma is brilliant. Even better she didn't have a clue who Jack is . Perfect.

 

[HotesTilaire]

@Readingismyhobby I absolutely do not blame you. The first time I scanned through the original audio I thought 'this isn't that bad' but the more times I went through it millisecond by millisecond to chop bits out, the worse it got. Interestingly she's most off-key when she's going for the lower notes which is strange considering she says her voice dropped an octave while she was on testosterone. The nasal and wobbly qualities really come back into her voice when she's not proper belting it out as well. Truly an atrocious piece of audio that I never want to hear again. If you're reading this, Jack, my favourite part was the perfect snare sound I cut out of your pre-wailing waffle.

For the Easter egg, I ran her voice through a plug-in called Marauder (it's spelt wrong inside my DAW, I don't know why but it's not like Jack ever let a spelling mistake stop her before ). Now she can maraud forever, it's what she would have wanted.

View attachment 450990

ETA: @HotesTilaire we appreciate your sacrifice. I believe it would be possible to smooth out the sound but I was already pushing the limits of my capabilities, I'm sadly not able to perform sonic miracles. Perhaps if you were to ....? <rattles tip jar>

@traumatised sideboard as CSO (chief Slopbot operator) Id happily fund your activities, except for anything involving Jack’s voice. I shall deal with that by just not listening to her.

 

[PoorPatrol]

You may recall a few threads ago after someone re-posted the Jackapella 'Landslide' video that I said I could make an entire song using solely sounds from it if I wanted to give us all nightmares. Well, a seed was sown and I found myself in need of a distraction project this week so I did it. I would call it an arrangement rather than a remix as I've put the words in a more appropriate order for our Slop Princess. Unfortunately we can't get the full effect because the bloody pillock got the lyrics wrong and didn't realise that the final verse isn't the same, it's a variation on the first which would have contained some essential words that I needed.




Please only listen if you're feeling masochistic. It's definitely an improvement on Jack warbling in a hotel bathroom but even Slopbot can't turn her into Stevie Nicks.

Never mind the Dickensian waif squawking in the background..... CHOOOOON!!!!

 

[GoLando]

@traumatised sideboard do you think you could do a track like baz lurhman’s sunscreen song only with her live interviews? That’s my special request and I’ll sign up to your patreon to make this happen!

*Kevin Keegan voice*

I would love it, LOVE IT, for Slopbot to have a patreon with more subscribers than Jack.